ALL SHOOK UP: Kurt Eichenwald Has Made Sending a Gif a Criminal Offense

ALL SHOOK UP: Kurt Eichenwald Has Made Sending a Gif a Criminal Offense

Kurt Eichenwald

Earlier today, the notorious “Jew Goldstein” was arrested by FBI agents at his Salisbury, Maryland home for the grave criminal offense of sending a flashing gif image at Kurt Eichenwald hours after he flamed out on Tucker Carlson’s Fox News program. I’m sure you’ll be shocked to find out that his name isn’t actually Jew Goldstein, as Newsweek is reporting that his government name is John Rivello (and it looks like he’s a Marine).

Steven Lieberman, Eichenwald’s lawyer, named the suspect as John Rivello. A law enforcement official who spoke on the condition of anonymity confirmed the name. FBI officials arrested the man at his home in in Salisbury, Maryland, around 7 a.m. on Friday, according to Lieberman. Rivello was expected to appear at a hearing in federal court in Baltimore on Friday afternoon, Lieberman said.

“What Mr. Rivello did with his Twitter message was no different from someone sending a bomb in the mail or sending an envelope filled with Anthrax spores,” Lieberman says. “It wasn’t the content of the communication that was intended to persuade somebody or make them feel badly about themselves; This was an electronic communication that was designed to have a physical effect.”

Yes, sending a gif on Twitter is no different that sending someone an envelope filled to the brim with deadly Anthrax. Who could argue with this flawless logic? Of course, Kurt had to get on Twitter and gloat about this, despite there being no real evidence that he suffered a seizure.

Seizures suck, I will be the first to admit that. I’ve actually suffered at the hands of one at least six times. If you have a major one, every muscle in your body is left feeling cramped. Many times, you end up biting the hell out of your tongue. So, if Mr. Eichenwald really did suffer a seizure that evening, my condolences. Somehow, I doubt that he actually did. Why?

Well, for one, he talked about being subject to this sort of “attack” before. In his Newsweek column, Kurt mentioned taking several precautions to prevent being victimized a full two months before he allegedly suffered at the hands of Jew Goldstein. I think what actually happened is that this guy got smoked by Tucker Carlson and wanted to take the heat off his performance, which was panned across the political spectrum for being a completely unhinged mess.

I can’t prove it, but that would be my speculation.

The funniest thing I’ve seen in relation to this might be the Jezebel post about it, though. Instead of celebrating their corrupt and poisonous ideology claiming another victim, they instead whine and complain about “internet attacks against women” not getting equal consideration. These bitter harpies can’t stand one single story not being about vagina.

On Friday morning, the FBI announced they’ve arrested the person responsible for the tweet. The FBI (and local law enforcement agencies) can’t seem to address violent threats against women online, but this investigation was opened and shut within three months…

The investigation into Eichenwald’s alleged harasser, then, took just three months from start to finish. But women game developers, journalists, and others who have received death threats on Twitter and other forms of violent harassment—some of it spilling over into actions that threaten their physical safety—haven’t been afforded the same access to speedy justice.

MUH GAMERGATE, MUH FEMALE “GAME DEVELOPERS!

They’re even more insufferable than Eichenwald is. OK, I’m not sure. But it’s close.

 

UPDATE: If this is true, then wow. Just more reason you should keep your mouth shut and not give an inch when people like Eichenwald start getting the cops and courts involved.

Oh, and here’s an link the the Jew Goldstein Legal Defense Fund if you’re inclined to help him out.

 

MORE: Here’s a letter from the Department of Justice on the arrest…

Also, a little background on the type of person Kurt is…

Ethan Ralph

Founder, Owner, & Editor-in-Chief of TheRalphRetort.com. Political fiend, gamer, & anti-bullshit.

  • GuitarAnthony

    YOU!

    YOU WITH THE MEMES!

    PUT DOWN THE PHOTOSHOP AND COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!

  • Hawk Hopper

    “What Mr. Rivello did with his Twitter message was no different from someone sending a bomb in the mail or sending an envelope filled with Anthrax spores,” Lieberman says.

    fucking what?!

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  • ExiledV2

    “JR wrote Eichenwald a sincere apology letter afterward & donated to epilepsy charity”

    Oh, bad move. Bad, bad move. *winces* Before even writing the apology, Rivello should have consulted an attorney.

    Anyway, on to the meat.
    If he’s actually been arrested by the FBI, then Rivello’s outcome is going to probably be very shitty. Here’s the problem with federal charges (and you can check this with Ken White/Popehat, who as well as being a free speech expert/advocate, is also a former federal prosecutor and current criminal defense attorney): They do not file unless the case is SOLID. About 91% of federal criminal trials end in conviction per year. That’s opposed to about 65-66% of state criminal trials (the majority of which are guilty pleas).

    So if he’s been arrested, the feds are pretty sure it’s a slam dunk…and the DOJ has done a press release. DAMN. Check this out: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C7Js8F-W4AQ6WhA.jpg:large
    That takes intent to well-planned. Rivello is screwed.

  • Typical

    The world would be a better place if we could just purge the weak.

    • steve12

      You mean the weak-minded? Those who aren’t smart enough not to brag in such a way as to leave a breadcrumb trail for the FBI to establish intent? Totally agree.

  • Silence Dogood

    They’re going to have to prove intent and I find it very unlikely they’ll be able to do that. This will get plead down.

    • ExiledV2

      Have you read the press release yet? It looks like their search warrant pretty much got intent cold.

    • Toastrider

      And as ExiledV2 pointed out, the DoJ typically doesn’t take these cases unless they’re a slam dunk. The attorneys in question want to add notches on their gunbelts (if you want to argue the ethics of that, we can, but that’s a different discussion).

      I feel sorry for the guy, but handling socjus vermin is a lot like handling plutonium; best done with protective gear and preferably as far away from you as possible.

  • Vida Galore

    Eichenwald the pedo? How is he even still employed? Wow this is bullshit.

  • This is what Vox Day warned in “SJWs Always Lie” – concede nothing to your enemy unless a court orders you do it (because your enemy WILL use an apology as proof of guilt); assume all Leftists are enemies.

    And Eichenwald is a piece of flounder shit.

  • steve12

    Ha!!! Looks like Rivello aka “@Jew_Goldstein” is going to fucking prison where he belongs. Pretty slam dunk case given what was found with the warrant. I’m sure you snowflakes will continue to whine “bu… bu… but – he just sent a MEME!! WAAAAA!!!!”. Well, tough fucking shit. While your boy’s getting it in the can in the can, you can cry and jackoff all you’d like. I’ll be cracking a cold one and LAUGHING MY ASS OFF that this little fucking Nazi is getting what he deserves. Master race my ass.

  • Lex Luthor

    So let me get this straight. People can make threats to murder the president and his family and suffer absolutely no consequence. They can make video threats, chant in the streets etc. But this Kurt guy gets sent a GIF and can have the guy arrested quickly? This is why I think the Secret Service wouldn’t give a crap of our POTUS is harmed. Just look at the threats to Trump on Twitter and online. Nothing is done.

  • ExiledV2

    The criminal complaint has been released publicly: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B9wNzBXav3TldmtXSGpHZ2JsMFE/view

    He’s being charged under interstate domestic laws. Eichenwald’s neurologist appears ready to testify. They have documentation of intent and action from the warrants. It’s easy for the DOJ to prosecute someone for a tweet when his account includes evidence he specifically intended it to cause injury.

    Currently, Rivello has been released to his dad’s custody after he promised to show for trial in TX, so they obviously don’t consider him to be a flight risk.

    Fun things to note:
    * Apparently, dudebro Rivello was stupid enough to store a picture in his cloud account of himself holding up his driver’s license. WOOPS.
    * Neither Twitter nor Apple fought the subpoenas. They just handed that shit right over. People should really keep that in mind if they think they’re online stuff is safe. Corporations will not contest this stuff, in general.
    * Other people were in contact with Rivello. Given Eichenwald’s statements? Those people had best LAWYER UP.

    I’m betting he pleads out. Mandatory minimum sentencing on these charges is 5-10 years.

  • ExiledV2