Amy "Häagen-Dazs" Schumer Dropped From Barbie Movie Over "Scheduling Conflicts"

Amy “Häagen-Dazs” Schumer Dropped From Barbie Movie Over “Scheduling Conflicts”

Amy Schumer

It recently came out that Amy Schumer has been removed from the live action Barbie movie. I wrote about this dumpster fire back when it was announced

Just a little bit off with that prediction, Amy. I the dummy feels like losing even more money. Isn’t Barbie supposed to be, ya know, attractive? I could see Schumer playing a live-action version of Miss Piggy, but Barbie? This is utter madness. Oh well, I shall laugh heartily at their upcoming failure.

I know this Barbie is supposed to be like a “reject Barbie” in the script, but even still, shouldn’t she be at least mildly attractive? I think Jennifer Lawrence would be perfect for the role. She’s pretty, and she’s also a lot funnier than co-called comedian Schumer. I guess Sony finally wised-up a bit. The funniest part is Schumer is now trying to blame “scheduling conflicts” for the pullout, which needless to say, I am not buying.

“Sadly, I’m no longer able to commit to Barbie due to scheduling conflicts,” the actress said in a statement to Variety. “The film has so much promise, and Sony and Mattel have been great partners. I’m bummed, but look forward to seeing Barbie on the big screen.”

After the recent disaster that was her comedy special, look for Schumer to continue her downward trend. Don’t feel too bad for her, though. She’s already gotten her millions and I’m sure she’ll continue to be around in some shape (fat, gooey) or another.

Ethan Ralph

Founder, Owner, & Editor-in-Chief of TheRalphRetort.com. Political fiend, gamer, & anti-bullshit.

  • GuitarAnthony

    It was supposed to be ‘Barbie’ not ‘Barbie-que with all the fixin’s like mashed taters, fried okra & corn cobs dipped in chocolate’, you oversize demon boar!

  • Grust

    Holy crap, another light has shone in the black, unholy darkness that is Hollywood.

  • Maintenance Renegade

    Sony pictures is under the microscope right now, their Japanese overlords are extremely displeased with their “lets throw mountains of money on a fire” business strategy of the last several years. The way Midnight’s Edge (the smaller youtuber Mundane Matt steals all his best film industry info from) tells it Sony pictures is pretty much looking at either getting shuffled under another division or even sold off if they can’t turn their shit around fast.

    • Grust

      If Sony Pictures goes bye-bye, maybe Sony can put more resources into its PlayStation department.

      • Maintenance Renegade

        One of the rumored fixes the heads of Sony are allegedly considering is making Sony Pictures a subsidiary of Sony Interactive.

    • Also Known As

      On a side note, I really wish Midnight’s Edge would disassociate themselves from MundaneMatt.

  • Botiemaster
  • J Enigma32

    Amy Schumer or potato?
    http://i.imgur.com/9MUqnsF.jpg

  • Jason Eastwood

    Sad to see her go, I kinda think she’d make a great “Post-Wall Narcissistic Barbie with Delusional Manic-Depressive Tendencies”.

    Or as she’s more commonly known, Bingo-Wing Vicodin Barbie.

  • Silence Dogood

    I feel like a live action Barbie movie is pointless in a reality where Legally Blonde and Legally Blonde 2 exist.

  • Kellen Joel

    I’m willing to bet money the real reason is because she’s too fucking fat.

  • Mizzmo Freethinker

    lol Amy Schumer is a one trick pony who is trying to make herself appear larger than she really is (no pun intended). Wait I said trick. She is a Trick that that Trick’s herself out for so called “feminism” though what she really wants is everyone to give her their money because she is overweight and unattractive. There is nothing wrong with the unattractive part but jeez, I can’t wait to see 10 years from now when nobody remembers her stank azz.