Arthur Chu, Post-Divorce: “Why Can’t I Die Already?”

I’ve been busy as hell today, but nothing could stop me from coming in here and giving you an update on one Arthur Chu. The last time we left this pathetic excuse for a man, his wife had left him because she was tired of acting as his maid and live-in secretary. Who can blame her? It’s not like Artie reminds anyone of Don Draper. This schlub should have thanked his lucky stars that he even had a wife and not treated the one he finally bagged like shit on his new shoes. Plus, I guess that Jeopardy loot finally running out might have had something to do with her decision as well. I hope she at least got a car out of it, or something.

At least she wasn’t cursed with a Baby Chu.

Well, I’d hoped for the best for Creepy Chu (OK, not really). But things seem to have taken a dark turn. Now, he just wants to die.

I’m not a big fan of the guy, obviously. But this is too much, even for me. Maybe you should seek out some professional help, Arthur? I can’t imagine your mindstate is going to improve much once Donald J. Trump is sworn in as president. The time to act is now, before it’s too late.

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Ethan Ralph

Founder, Owner, & Editor-in-Chief of TheRalphRetort.com. Political fiend, gamer, & anti-bullshit.

  • Celerity

    The SJW bots hit a self destruct matrix.

  • Kellen Joel

    What a dumbass. He should at least have the balls to say he doesn’t wanna commit suicide, so he’s ill wishing himself.

  • One-Eye

    Perhaps he can hook up with Devin ‘Fingerbang’ Faraci and commiserate on their utter loss of purpose in life. Then slit each other’s throats and do the world two fucking favors.

    • Patrick

      I was thinking Laurie Penny. She needs help clearing her nostrils and they don’t call him ‘Picka’ Chu for nothing.

  • Maintenance Renegade

    He no brought her in with his wizzbang strategy for defeating the rules, customs and patterns of a decades old gameshow but failed to close the deal with multiple children spawned before revealing what a sperg he is. 300k doesn’t go far in San Francisco and waging a failed war against a hashtag hardly gets a pussy wet.

  • Typically Deplorable

    I don’t want to enjoy some one else’s misery, but I will point out that just maybe, this shows Chu is all wrong about how to treat women, and no one should be taking his advice.

  • Danlantic

    So Arthur Chu is singing the blues. He needs to cross the aisle on GamerGate and bond with Eron Gjoni. You both were delusional about Zoe Quinn.

    For therapy, he should listen to lots of rock and roll. There is much wisdom there:

    Well, since she put me down I been going out of my head.
    I come home late at night and in the mornings I just stay in bed.
    ….

    He should get a day job as a librarian. That’s one of the few jobs where an encyclopedic grasp of scraps of knowledge is sometimes useful.

    • Lost Question

      … but as a librarian you have to interact with other people and chu’s personality doesn’t seem something that would mesh with the general public

  • Mr0303

    A question many people ask I bet.

  • One-Eye

    Can you imagine if this square-headed zilch had actually spawned?

    What a horrifying thought.

  • Botiemaster

    Maybe you know who will let him finally hit it so he can stop being a downer https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/54540ae0d44036fdd655a6896807e20929edc6ee0a0e6a65f118fba202204b57.jpg

  • Broken Word

    I can’t wait for the inevitable break down to come when she finds someone new and its not some beta-butt-boy like Artie Bomba-Chu. So much angst and butthurt will spill forth from this shitbag even emo’s will tell him to cheer the fuck up!

  • Yarlg

    So he didn’t invest his money or start a business? He at least could have started the Chu Live-In Maid Service.