Five Guys Adds a Hot Dog to the Menu, Zoe Quinn Now “Agender”

I was in the middle of a post about Lauren Duca, but that can obviously wait. As you can tell by the title, this is one of the most lulztastic things I’ve ever seen in my life. In short, Zoe Quinn has decided that she’s no longer a woman, and in fact, never has been. Welp, I guess that clears GamerGate of the whole “harassment of women in game development” thing. Glad to know I wasn’t a part of any nastiness like that. Feels good, man.

I’m honestly not sure what Ms. Quinn is saying. In fact, I wanted to say this means she’s a transexual, but I don’t know if that’s quite right. Of course, in reality, Zoe is still a woman. It doesn’t matter what she says here. But, I’m trying to think like a nutter for a second.

Speaking of nuts, here’s some of her post (from Tumblr, of course)…

I knew I loved women early in life. It wasn’t any major revelation, because to me, gender seemed to be such an arbitrary line to draw between what you were and weren’t attracted to. It was a non-issue, because I legitimately didn’t think in those terms. But there was an easy model for this, a name I knew, I was Bisexual and that was fine. I fell in with the local lgbtqa+ folks and I started learning about other letters. I’m painfully aware of how misguided I was initially when I started listening to trans people, because the concept of switching one gender for another made no sense to me. I didn’t understand how anyone could “feel” like a man or a woman, because I didn’t feel like either and was projecting. Thankfully I stuck to listening and not talking, and after a while the reality sunk in for me – it’s not them, it’s me. Gender wasn’t a thing to me, any more than infrared light is, but that doesn’t make those things any less real, it just means my eyes don’t work on that spectrum.

Unlike Bisexuality, I didn’t have any easy models. I didn’t know anyone who felt the same way, I hadn’t seen anyone like that in popular culture. I had dated trans people and while we could bond over some of the ways that our bodies felt like aliens to us, it felt like they knew how they would change themselves but I didn’t know where to start, and I didn’t want to add more gender-based exhaustion and work onto my partners so I just… never said anything about that part of myself. I never said anything to just about anyone because I felt caught between people who wouldn’t understand and would likely treat me with fear or disgust, or people who knew all too well what it’s like to look down and see someone else, but already had to put up with entirely too much shit and didn’t need me taking up spaces for people who needed them more.

I don’t even know where to begin, so I’ll just let Zoe continue the crazy.

I did drag shows with friends where I’d dress up as an aging used car salesman with sequined flame boxers. Another friend said she had a welcoming speech ready for whenever I was gonna come out as trans just in case. But still, I didn’t want to be a man. That wasn’t the missing puzzle piece for me…

Performing masculinity didn’t feel entirely safe, but I would just play it off as being butch that day if ever asked about it. But being able to perform it at all – to play with it – was a huge step towards lessening my dysphoria and self-loathing. Looking at my gender presentation, my fashion, and my body as something to be worked on or decorated, to try to re-write it to say something, took a lot of the sting out of my hatred of it. In customizing it, it felt like something that was “mine” a bit more than the alien meat suit I had been trapped in…

All the women and girls who had told me they’d looked up to me or found something inspiring in my stubbornness to continue making games despite gendered bullshit thrown my way, what would I tell them? It seemed so important for other people that I continue to be read as a woman, and I didn’t want to piss on the parade of people who already are being pissed on from nine other directions.

What would she tell the little girls…who have never heard of Zoe Quinn? This was her pressing concern. God, this woman is the most pretentious person I think I’ve ever seen. Get over yourself, Zoe. Or Zack, or whatever the hell you’re calling yourself these days.

She goes on to talk about a “binder.” I thought of Mitt Romney’s binder full of women, but no, it’s a breast binder so that her chest can be flattened out. It was pretty flat anyway, so I imagine that wasn’t much of a problem to begin with.

If I now no longer count as a “woman in tech”, maybe that’s ok, because maybe there’s other people who aren’t men or women that need to feel less alone too. Maybe the fact that I’m still treated as a woman in tech is enough, and my actual gender doesn’t detract from that.

So here it is:

I don’t know what I am yet, but I know what I’m not.

I’m not straight. I’m not cis, and I don’t think I can keep pretending to be cis just to get by. I’m not a man. I’m not a woman. I don’t want to be a man. I don’t want to be a woman. I don’t ever want to have the pronouns conversation because I feel equally apathetic to being called “he” or “she” so I guess if you just want to be accurate go for “they” but I won’t be offended by any. I’m not a crossdresser. I do have gender dysphoria. I don’t have an ideal self in mind. I don’t know if I want hormones or surgery, but I don’t think so because I don’t think that they’d help me move forward, since it still seems like you have two options there. I’m not well versed in what comes next, and I’m not immune to fucking up, but I’m not going to shrug off that responsibility and will do everything I can to do this the right way and make up for it when I failed at that. I’m not ever willing to speak for anyone else’s experiences or lives, unless they’ve specifically asked me to…

I would, however, like to start working toward capturing a fraction of the magic of David Bowie or Prince or any of the number of the queer genderfucking icons we lost last year. There are some extremely stylish shoes that need filling.    

Yes, Quinn is going to fill the shoes of David Bowie and Prince. What an overload of self-important delusion, goodness gracious.

Despite what Zoe says in her post, this isn’t actually the first time she’s talked about this insanity. You can check this Twitter thread from last fall if you want to know more about that score. Personally, I don’t. I just came here to laugh at the absurdity that is Zoe Quinn, as well a celebrate the fact that GamerGate has just been exonerated. It’s a beautiful day.

2017 is off to a hell of a start. 2016 better watch its back.

NOTE: Alex Lifschitz could not be reached for comment.

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Ethan Ralph

Founder, Owner, & Editor-in-Chief of TheRalphRetort.com. Political fiend, gamer, & anti-bullshit.

  • Mouth

    When you suck so much dick you actually start to want one of your own.

    • “You are what you eat”, as the saying goes.

  • Renaissance_nerd

    Now the next thing out of her cocksuker better be that Gamergate didn’t harass a woman after all, because she sure as fuck played that card 2 years ago.

  • RuralScot

    I think she just gets bored easily and this helps add another layer of drama to her life. Plus it will probably induce some more donations and a few glowing articles about her bravery. Certainly it will help her be the centre of attention amongst certain circles for a wee while.
    It yet again reinforces how much she loves herself though.

    • GodBowser

      If coming out as being trans would help her get money and attention maybe Nutjob Wu should do the same if it will help him get the Patreon money that he desperately needs

      • Yuno Gasai

        Brianna “John Walker Flynt” Wu coming out as transgender would be like a gay guy coming out of the closet to his family after having brought only guys with him to thanksgiving for the last 10 years.

  • I think Zoe’s right on this one. “Amorphous Blob of Fat with Glasses” doesn’t fit into any gender.

  • TooManyCucks

    LGBTZQ

    • Willie Christianson

      Not even once.

  • chris perez

    For those who can stomach her nudes I would say she is most definitely a woman.

  • tz1

    The tragedy of deinstitutionalization.

    Though I suspect it is a post-Trump attempt at seeking to ascend the victimhood hierarchy, since being a stupid fat bitch wasn’t enough now there’s intersectionalism.
    I wouldn’t doubt many SJWs show up in wheel-chairs “identifying as disabled”.

  • DisneyVillain

    She is completely worthless. Even dog shit has more value than her. At least dog shit decomposes and give nutrients to plants. All Quinn’s ever done is make the WORST FUCKING GAME IN EXISTENCE. Granted her fucking game journalists to get it good reviews made her a necessary evil at that point, but that moment has come to an end.

  • Danlantic

    Prince wasn’t gay.
    https://www.theguardian.com/music/2008/nov/20/prince-gay-marriage-opinion

    He opposed gay marriage and said:

    “God came to earth and saw people sticking it wherever and doing it with
    whatever, and he just cleared it all out,” Prince told the New Yorker’s
    Clare Hoffman. “He was, like, ‘Enough.'”

  • Silence Dogood

    FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME – GENDER HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ATTRACTION – THAT’S SEXUALITY! These gender studies idiots have intentionally muddied the waters and appropriated the struggle of people with mental illness and deformities in order to gain oppression/victim cred. It’s sickening.

    • Maintenance Renegade

      Gender doesn’t even exist, they’re right when they say it’s a social construct in specific quarters but wrong when they pin it on anything but their own pseudo scientific academia bullshit. There is only sex, and from there it’s only male, female, heterosexuality, homosexuality or bisexuality. Furthermore female sexuality in this regard is relatively uncharted territory and the “gender” wackos like it that way because the most obvious reality might collapse their narrative.

      • Silence Dogood

        Bisexuality is such a joke imo. Bisexuals inevitably wind up picking a “side” and until they do the gay and lesbians community tend to dislike them immensely. Gays/Lesbians don’t like straight people in their bars.

        • Grampy_Bone

          Lesbians don’t really exist either. Male and female sexuality is different. Homosexuality in males tends to emerge after prepubescent sexual contact with adult gay men. An alarming number of gay men I have met admitted their first gay sex was at a single-digit age (in other words, they were gay pedo-raped, but convinced themselves they wanted it to happen.)

          Homosexuality in women similarly seems to occur when a girl meets another lesbian or takes a gender studies class. The reason why people say “Oh it’s just a phase” is because it almost always is. Look up “Lesbian Until Graduation.”

          The whole LGBT movement is based on lies and nonsense. You can’t talk about any of this stuff anymore because as soon as you say anything the least bit offensive you get attacked. The trans movement is just making a bigger farce than the homos did. Why not? If homosexuality can be whatever the LGBTZXZZTOP community says it is, why not gender?

          • Silence Dogood

            “Prepubescent sexual contact with adult gay men.” – Hold on there buster; that’s not even remotely true. You been watching that 1960’s era anti-gay pablum they put out alongside “Reefer Madness”? A lot of gay people experiment with people their own age the first time. Or, more typically, they had to wait until college, or until they got the hell out of their parents house. You might get older teen gays who wind up hooking up with an adult, but that has to do with the power of the internet.

            There’s this thing called the “Gay Teenager Phase” which is when young gay men make reckless and cavalier sexual decisions because they have the freedom of adulthood to engage in their desires, something which heterosexual teens get to do much earlier and with some parental restraint looming. I do agree with you to an extent regarding lesbians – since they’re the passive recipient in a sexual encounter they don’t have face the hurdle of not getting aroused by a man – they can just “take it.” And bisexuality is considerably more common in women than men because female sexuality is typically more fluid.

            The LGBT movement is NOT based on lies and nonsense – you are clearly speaking from the position of an outsider. The gist of the “true” LGBT movement (fuck trannies though, get out of my acronym) is basically equal protection under the law and the general right to be left the hell alone. For example, gay marriage, contrary to what the religious imbeciles who blight an otherwise awesome Western nation scream about, is about getting all the legal/financial perks of marriage, and is not the big bad gay agenda seeking to undermine morality and the will of “Jeebus”.

            You’d have to define what you mean by “offensive” – are you intentionally trying to be offensive? Are you “uncomfortable” about someone else’s sexuality? The only thing I’d say to that is – mind your own business where someone else is putting their dick because it’s none of your concern. If you want to crack gay jokes, feel free – unless it’s something genuinely malicious I’ll probably laugh since I like raunchy and stereotypical humor.

            Lastly, if you’ve taken the time to read my post, or rather I suppose this would be the TL;DR section that addresses your final point: The mainstream gay community, like the straight community, doesn’t want to seem intolerant, but they largely don’t care to be around trannies, just like gays and lesbians don’t like being around each other. They have nothing in common with one another – trannies in particular since many of them go on to identify as “straight” (yeah fucking right). The acronym is really just LGB (B is a stretch, but even if they “go straight” if you’ve had sex with the same sex you’re basically a homo lol). As for gender… it’s just the way people express the ideas and norms tied to their biological sex (or the opposite of it if they’re a tranny… or a dyke). Gender is basically a stupid thing to argue about and is just awful when SJWs and college aged idiots confuse it with biological sex.

          • Typical

            What do you actually think of abolishing the state’s role in marriage altogether? I don’t like the thought of having to be “licensed” to share everything with another person. I was hoping there would be a larger battle over the marriage/religion thing with regards to gay marriage that would create a constitutional crisis and get the state out of the process altogether. Any person of legal age should be allowed to enter into any contract with any other person of legal age without meddling by the state. The only reason they even care is they decided they aren’t allowed to steal your assets from your spouse when you die, only children and business partners.

          • Silence Dogood

            Without the weight of the State to enforce it, it would be meaningless. Marriage has always been an institution used to bind different “houses” and bloodlines together (in ancient times you’d have one wife with legitimate heirs and a bunch of concubines if you were rich and powerful) and for that to work you need a uniform power structure to make it stick. The “good will” of “the people” simply can’t be trusted. While I believe a number of things can and should be regulated at a state level, anything in the realm of “human rights” and “societal privileges” should only be held at the Federal level, where it can be universally applied/imposed.

          • Typical

            I agree with your assessment of the human rights being a federal type of enforcement issue, but I’m more looking at it from an angle that anything you need permission from the state for, isn’t a right or freedom. I don’t see the need to formalize with the sate your intention to bind yourself to another person. I believe a contract notarized should be sufficient without licenses, and in fact the state wouldn’t care if they weren’t trying to steal your property upon death. Licensing things is essentially to me making you have a permission slip, and once you are allowing licensing of rights, it’s not really a right anymore.

          • Grampy_Bone

            Hey man, you believe what you want, I’m just telling you what happens when I ask gay dudes about their first time. Conversation goes like this the majority of the time:

            Me: “So when did you know you were gay?”
            Gay Guy: “Oh I’ve always known, ever since I was a kid.”
            Me: “Oh really, when did you first have gay sex?”
            Gay Guy: “When I was 11.”
            Me: “Wow. And how old was your partner?”
            Gay Guy: “Oh he was… much older.”
            Me: “Wait, you mean like a pedophile?”
            Gay Guy: “It’s not like that at all. I wanted it.”

            aka he was gay raped by a pedophile before he knew better.

            It used to shock me, but I’ve had that conversation with so many gay guys I just expect it now. In my experience your opinion is usually the uninformed one, but I don’t know you so I’m not going to try to guess your background. It’s like the liberals who love black people until they go to the ghetto and get mugged; lots of people claim to love gay people but never spend any time around them.

            I live and work in a very gay town. And yeah, you know what, it is my business, because these guys openly talk about getting at my kids, and raping them, and turning them gay. They want to force kids to learn about gay buttsex and rim jobs and salad-tossing and all that perverted shit in kindergarten. That’s their open, expressly stated goal. And I’d rather not see my kid become a AIDs-infected homo who fucks ten different strangers on his lunch break thru Grindr.

          • Silence Dogood

            I’ve heard those stories to, but that’s not the rule for everyone. -_- Broad stroking is bad, m’kay? Rim jobs and salad-tossing are the same thing btw. >_>

  • Silence Dogood

    “I stopped talking and kept listening and then it sunk in… it wasn’t them, it as me.” – said every cult member ever.

  • Silence Dogood

    “taking up spaces for people who needed them more.” Such martyr. Very humble brag. Please kill me.

    • DisneyVillain

      Sorry can’t upvote this one. I don’t want you dead.

      • Silence Dogood

        If I die I will only ascend to Valhalla to be with my other golden dude bros. 😉

        • DisneyVillain

          Don’t you have to die in honorable combat for that to happen?

          • Silence Dogood

            I am in a perpetual state of honorable combat. Because I said so.

          • DisneyVillain

            Okay then.

  • Silence Dogood

    Oh shit, she’s not a “woman in tech” – that’s SO PROBLEMATIC! No, I sincerely mean that from a SJW mindset – she’s declaring that “agender” people can’t be women, which as we all know is an Untruth because anyone or thing can be a woman. Someone tell Brianna Wu! I want to watch the fireworks.

    • palaeomerus

      At least the patriarchy will raise her pay now. And she’ll have some new privileges to play with.

  • Silence Dogood

    Did… she just imply that she could fill even a FRACTION of the shoes of David Bowie or Prince (seriously, fuck prince, highly overrated – Bowie though /swoon)?! This manipulative whore is just shedding herself of the “problematic” position of still being cis. Now she is not: cis, a man or straight. It’s the fucking SJW hat trick! Pity she can’t do a damn thing about being white. I’m sure she’s found some big black cock to help her feel closer to it though.

    • Typical

      Prince is a genius. How exactly do you feel he’s overrated?

      • Silence Dogood

        I just don’t like his music very much. Or his personal appearance. Or the whole “Artist Formerly Know As Prince” shtick he went on with for a while. 😛

        • Typical

          Well, that one was a big FU to warner, which was actually what made me interested in him. I really only like a few of his more popular tracks truth to tell, but I can’t deny his genius. His story is what I find fascinating more than his music. He’s kind of like Trump in the way he always seemed to manipulate the system end up on top.

        • Typical

          Well, that one was a big FU to warner, which was actually what made me interested in him. I really only like a few of his more popular tracks truth to tell, but I can’t deny his genius. His story is what I find fascinating more than his music. He’s kind of like Trump in the way he always seemed to manipulate the system end up on top.

  • Yuno Gasai

    When I read the line about Prince and Bowie I said “Oh go fuck yourself” based purely on instinct. That’s how used to this kind of bullshit I am.

  • Fatherless

    “NOTE: Alex Lifschitz could not be reached for comment.”

    GOLD

  • Marcus Lawshe’

    Checks his fucks-given-for-Zoe-Quinnometer.

    Yep. Still registering 0.

  • DV
  • DV

    I knew it…Alex Lifschitz is, was, will always be a bottom bitch. No way that cumdumpster Zoe didn’t go knuckles deep/strap-on on that queer bait.

  • palaeomerus

    I saw Alien Meat Suit open for corrosion of Conformity at the Xtreme ShuffleBoard Festival we old people go to to drink domestic beer and eat sensitive-GI-tract-safe-fajitas.

  • Mykeru

    I have kept track of her Patreon and noticed that there was always a noticeable increase in virtue-signalling of progressive values when it was low. I also noticed that over the Christmas and New Year period she lost about fifty patrons, I still don’t know why that happened. She is one of the most narcissistic and delusional people in tech. Even life itself seems to just hate her, setting her up to be an epic mess.

  • Mykeru

    She seems to have the kind of persona that can only come through either serious mental illness or drug use. I think she is histrionic, possibly bi-polar and possibly regularly using cocaine.

  • Dave The Sandman

    What kind of creature bore her
    Was it some kind of bat?
    They can’t find a good word for her
    But I can………
    TWAT!

  • Mr0303

    It’s another desperate attempt at snowflakery from Zoe. She just wants to be in the centre of attention. Contrary to popular belief GamerGate made people learn who she was and now she is clawing to remain relevant in the SJW crowd. My guess is that her funds were starting to dry out and she came up with this.

  • Little girls looking up to her? I’m not sure if most kids are the same, but when I was little, I never paid much attention to credits. Hell, I don’t think even the name of Shigeru Miyamoto entered my consciousness until I was about 9. What the hell, other than her overbearing self-importance, makes her think that children heard of a nobody like her, especially as a “game developer” and not just a controversial figure who did naughty things they should never do when they grow up? It’s all the more inane to think such a thing when you consider that Depression Quest, so far as I’m aware, isn’t exactly age-appropriate for the kiddies (but then again, this tripe isn’t appropriate for anyone).

  • Maintenance Renegade

    Gets a boob job one week and pretends to be a man the next week, this is a histrionic sociopath trying to gain sympathy.

  • I guess playing the victim isn’t earning so much now, so it’s time to jump on the transgender money train. Either that or claim some disability or another, it always works on the internet.

  • Toastrider

    Best comment from RS McCain’s column on this loon:

    “Behold the desperation of someone who realizes her fifteen minutes expired a long time ago.” — commenter RS

    Yeah, I don’t think I can top that 🙂

  • jlenoconel

    What she’s doing is an insult to real gay people like myself. Its an insult to real trans people too. Wish she would literally [email protected] off.

  • BanPC

    Call the damned thing an it and be done with it already.

    Now, maybe people can put IT out of their minds and get on to living life.

    BTW, IT is a self-aggrandizing money grabbing POS that knows no bounds in the realm of depravity in the quest for money and 15 seconds of Internet infamy.

  • temmy9 .

    Basically she is trying to up her snowflake quotient in the hopes of being relevant against

  • Botiemaster
  • Tracker