Giant Spacekat’s Frank Wu Under Fire As Ex-Wife Details Domestic Violence (UPDATE: Frank Responds)
Just when you thought the happenings couldn’t come any quicker, another one slaps you upside the fucking face. I seriously don’t have enough hours in the day to write about them all, recently. Earlier this evening, it was revealed that Brianna Wu’s husband, Frank Wu, had written a a “zoepost” of his own. This was crazy enough, as you’ll see when you read it. But then, his ex-wife came out and responded. Long story short, no fucks were given, and not a single punch was pulled. After reading Allison McBain’s account, I was even more disgusted with Frank Wu than I was before. I didn’t really think that was possible. These are all allegations, but her story rings a lot truer than his does.
Before we get to Allison’s account, here’s Frank Wu’s spiel from September (it was just discovered today):
“The year I spent married to Alison McBain was the more horrific year of hell of my life. Alison McBain is the most despicable, disgusting, deceitful, foul and vile human being I have ever known….Why did I marry her?Because I was stupid and in love. And because I was yet unfamiliar with the term Borderline Personality Disorder, wherein a new boyfriend/girlfriend at first acts all loving and wonderful, and then a switch is thrown and they turn into a monster. Yup, that was her.Why did I stay? Because I didn’t want the shame of getting divorced. Because maybe I thought that I could be like Luke Skywalker, fishing the good out of Darth Vader. Or maybe I thought I could just tough it out.We met at worldcon in 2003, and since we split (she eventually left me, thank God, telling more lies about me on her way out), and then left the community.But now it seems like she’s edging back into the sci-fi community, writing, going to conventions again. If she shows up at a convention I’m at, I will be compelled to call the police or inform the convention security of her insane and violently unpredictable behavior. She is dangerous.
I’ll warn you now. If you see her, run far far away. She is fucking evil incarnate.”
“I have an ex-husband named Frank Wu. When we married, I was 24 years old and he was 39. I was young and naive, and he was very manipulative. That, at least, has not changed.
For years after our divorce, his words rang in my ears – he told me in private that my writing was horrible, that I was no good, that I was shit. He let his friends talk down to me and call me abusive names. When I left him, he gave my phone number to his friends so they could call me up and shout abuse at me. In public, he would be all smiles, but in private was a different story. You want to talk about scars? I have a burn mark on my back that I covered up with a tattoo. I didn’t want to talk about my first marriage, didn’t want to carry that pain with me, so I tried to erase it.
When I was with him, I had just started writing for publication. However, he eroded all of my self-confidence and I stopped writing. For years after our marriage ended, I didn’t write because I didn’t want to be involved in that world and accidentally cross paths with him.
Only recently have I decided that what he did back then doesn’t have to hold me back now. I decided to write again – that I wouldn’t live in fear of him or what he could say. I decided this because of my current husband, who has been nothing but supportive and loving of my dreams.
I guess I was wrong about Frank. He made a very public post about me in September: https://archive.today/69Qmn. I just discovered it today because people are tweeting it. I am adding the link here so you can read it. Because I want you to read the outrageous things he is saying, and to know that what he is saying is BULLSHIT.
I am not going to stoop to his level of verbal abuse and lies. I am only going to defend myself with facts. He was 15 years my senior. He was older than me, taller than me, outweighed me. When I left – and yes, I was the one to leave – he came up to my parents’ house, trying to get me back. When he wouldn’t leave me alone, I moved across the country to get away from him. Then he showed up at my sister’s apartment in New York City where I was staying while I got my feet under me – he talked his way past the manager by saying he was my husband, and being very persuasive that I would want to see him – and I opened the door to her apartment to find him waiting inside. Let me say, it was not a good surprise to think I was going to a safe space, only to find him waiting for me. So I cut all ties with my old friends, worried they would give him information about me. I changed my number because I was getting phone messages from his friends telling me I was a piece of shit – basically repeating everything he had told me for the year we were together. And then when I had done all that – left my whole life behind – the nightmare, I thought, was over….I tried to tell [my current husband] that he didn’t know my ex-husband and how vindictive and manipulative he was when we were together. I was afraid, but I decided to do it anyway, because I had my husband’s loving support.
Let me ask you – what sort of woman runs away across the country, changes her phone number and cuts ties with all of her friends because SHE is the abuser? What sort of man publicly posts such outrageous shit about his ex-wife in a public forum? Yeah, I thought so.
I don’t want to live in fear anymore. So, Frank Wu, take your lies and shove them. You can’t manipulate me. And you can’t hurt me anymore, either.”
— Ethan Ralph (@TheRalphRetort) January 24, 2015