Infamous Sperg Chris Kluwe Goes off the Deep End, Suggest Lefties Get Familiar with Glocks & Survivalist Tactics – TheRalphRetort.com

Infamous Sperg Chris Kluwe Goes off the Deep End, Suggest Lefties Get Familiar with Glocks & Survivalist Tactics

Someone passed along a message about Chris Kluwe to me last night, but I didn’t look into it. They said he was sperging out, so I just figured it was his usually nuttery. As many of yo may know, I wrote about him on this site quite a bit back in the day. I figured this was just your run of the mill stuff from Kluwless.

I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Like many “progressives,” this guy seems to have gone completely off the deep end…

Good to know! Any more tips, Chris?

I’ll jot that down as well, buddy.

Paintball, got it.

He even went off on one of his old compatriots…

WAKE UP, YOU IMBECILE! TRUMP IS GOING TO HILTER US ALL!!

Mr. Allen went on to tell Kluwe that this isn’t even good advice for his goal, armed resistance…

Chris was having none of it, because well, he’s insane. President Trump has caused the poor man to completely lose his mind, or what was left of it. I would say he’s suffering from chronic traumatic encephalopathy (C.T.E.) like many other former NFL players, but this guy was a punter. So, that’s out. Maybe it was all the cocaine? I’m not sure, but either way, the goof needs some kind of mental evaluation and a bag of pills in order to get back in touch with reality.

Until then, I guess he can clean his imaginary Glock and prepare for the urban warfare that is allegedly coming down the pike.

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Ethan Ralph

Founder, Owner, & Editor-in-Chief of TheRalphRetort.com. Political fiend, gamer, & anti-bullshit.

  • elwood p. dowd

    This was tweeted to Mark Kern this morning. No further comment needed.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C3mIJqjUYAA8rcd.jpg:large

  • Toastrider

    Lordy. This guy is all over the place. Guns will just be magically lying around, huh?

    • Maintenance Renegade

      The “progressive” welfare mentality at work I suppose, even their stupid little fake revolution is supposed to be paid for with someone else’s money.

    • Typical

      The basic premise is to ambush officers and take theirs. It was a plan floated to free france by I think the CIA. check out a pistol called the liberator I think it was.

  • Gordon Liu

    This dude is sooooo thirsty for a beatdown. He almost got one from Gavin McInnes on that awkward Discovery Channel talk show they did a couple months back.

    http://channel.nationalgeographic.com/explorer/episodes/episode-4/

  • Mykeru

    Maybe he has been hacked.

  • Maintenance Renegade

    Kluwe thinks he’s the jock leader who will lead his friends as they go Wolverines in a reverse Red Dawn, absolutely priceless. I don’t know what he thinks they’re going to do with a bunch of glocks though considering typical 9mm usually bounces right the fuck off modern infantry flak armor, hell those rounds tend to bounce off human bones at any kind of range.

    I don’t know where he’s getting his ideas about modern urban combat but the truth of the matter is that the US military is if anything hyper-specialized in the field of slaughtering light poorly trained infantry. In the scenario he’s fantasizing about Kluwe and pals would get slaughtered by artillery pieces and airplanes so far away they’d never see them. The only opposing infantry they’d get to fight would be a cautious and functionally invincible battle line that killed them the moment they wandered into it’s line of sight or the hyper-lethal special forces units spotting for the artillery and airplanes.

    • Toastrider

      Not quite that easy. The current military, with the exception of SOCOM, does not handle fourth generation warfare all that well. Come out to play in a fairly standard 2nd-3rd gen battle? The U.S. military will eat your lunch. Insurgencies, on the other hand, are a different bag of snakes. Drone striking random houses in urban/suburban areas isn’t going to make you any friends (and it drives down the property values).

      That being said, though, fourth gen warfare is ugly. It requires a population base willing to run interference for the insurgents (whether out of fear or loyalty). I don’t think the progs have that, judging from who’s in the White House at this point. And that’s not even getting into firearms use. How many progs can even stomach looking at a gun? How many understand how one works? Witness the current hilarious idiocy of people screaming about the Hearing Protection Act (which is trying to deregulate the sale of suppressors) — at least one editorial insisted that the loud report of a gunshot was a SAFETY MEASURE.

      I strongly recommend reading stuff by Matt Bracken or the late Mike Vanderboegh if you’re curious about this. There’s been a LOT of thought regarding such future battlefields, by people who, and let’s be honest, know a fuck of a lot more about this sort of thing than we do. 🙂

      A good breakdown for what could happen: https://westernrifleshooters.wordpress.com/2012/09/03/bracken-when-the-music-stops-how-americas-cities-may-explode-in-violence/

      Buy ammo, folks. It’s probably going to get worse before it gets better, even with Trump in the driver’s seat.

      • Maintenance Renegade

        The solution to fighting 4th generation warfare with a conventional military force is really quite painfully obvious and Putin and Assad just demonstrated it for the whole world to see in Aleppo. You simply shell and bomb the opposition into extinction with no fucks given and you turn their territory into a wasteland.

        • Typical

          You use fire. Fire is the most effective weapon in battle because man has a psychological fear of it. The Japanese dug into tunnels who would fight to the death would take off running from the flamethrower. It kills people around corners and in cover by burning up all the oxygen, it could easily be used street to street and house to house.

          • Maintenance Renegade

            Saw alot of vids of Russian warplanes showering Syrian towns with phosphorous, definitely seemed to do the trick.

          • ampatgrl

            it certainly does sanitize

  • Silence Dogood

    FUCKING NORMIES, GET OUT OF MY INSANE ASYLUM! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

    • Hanzo

      LOL. Oh fuk.

  • jlenoconel

    Liberals are literal pussies and won’t touch guns. Kluwe needs to get a clue. All the SJWs he’s trying to court are triggered by even fictional violence lol.

  • Hawk Hopper

    The SJW take over of the survivalist movement. Doomsday Preppers to be brought back as Safe Space Pampers.

  • Dave The Sandman

    Ah fuck off Kluwe you washed up kiddy fiddler facilitator. You bring all the Glocks you want.

    I put my trust in Webley & Scott. The guns that built The British Empire

    Here is one of mine

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/22235ece21d164073771534b0a8b55cbacda5ce052e1c3a108edbed753145035.jpg

  • Mr0303

    Yeah, nobody should take life advice from Kluwe.

  • Hanzo

    All I have to say is you better hurry up p***y. You’re waaayyy behind Flyover Country pal.

  • Typical

    I’ll help them out:

    How to clean and maintain a Glock
    Step 1: Don’t they’re reliable as hell without the obsessive need to do much of anything, that’s why they’re issued.

    Morons.

  • Cof5

    He’s about 200 years too late to this party. Good luck with that.