Life in The Emerald City

Life in The Emerald City

OK, this place is actually nothing like Emerald City. I just wanted to make a reference to the classic HBO series, Oz. If you haven’t already enjoyed that wild show, please do so at your own leisure. It’s well worth your time, even though the finale is a bit lackluster. I plan to watch the entire show with my wife (EDITOR’S NOTE: We’ll see) next year. Now, as for the topic at hand…

I promised myself that I was going to save the narrative of my state sponsored vacation for the book I plan to write when I get out. That is still very much my intention. A couple of things can be said though. For one, I already have enough material to write a sizable volume even though I’ve only been gone for 30 days. The stories and characters are endless. The other things that has really jumped out at me is how much I miss you all, how much I miss the action. It is sort of like being on another planet, albeit with occasional dispatches from Earth. Thank goodness for radio, and even for the Washington Post.

Thanking the heavens for The Post. Yes, it’s that bad.

Still, it could be much, much worse. A friend of mine was describing the conditions associated with involuntary confinement in Zambia. Needless to say, there are still many blessings to be thankful for. Morning coffee, however, is not one of those things. Neither is salt…or pepper. I could go on, but I think you catch my drift. Plus, as I said I’m trying to look on the bright side of predicament.

One constant battle is with boredom. Even thought I can’t have books sent to me, there are some hidden gems in the library cart that comes on Wednesday. Right now I am finishing Gore Vidal’s Burr. It’s excellent. I’ll give a full accounting of my reading materials early next year. And even though you can’t send your contributions, you can send letters. Some of you have donated to my commissary fund as well, which I appreciate more than I can properly express.

All in all, it’s going pretty well. Sure, I miss my wife. I miss my life. But I’m making due with the hand I dealt myself. That’s pretty much all that can be done. But there will be a day when this bullshit comes to an end, thankfully. Actually, it’s a very specific day: 2nd February, 2018. I look forward to it immensely.

Nora is doing a great job keeping the site rolling along. I aim to send in a greater number of contributions now, so hopefully that helps my tireless champion. You all help a lot just by coming here, so once again, I want to thank you for that. Oh, and if you have guest submissions, send them to [email protected] Some of the best posts in TRR’s history have come from readers!

On that note, I bid you farewell for now. I can’t wait to interact with you all again. It’s truly been one of the great privileges of my life.

Ethan Ralph

Owner of TheRalphRetort.com

Ethan Ralph

Founder, Owner, & Editor-in-Chief of TheRalphRetort.com. Political fiend, gamer, & anti-bullshit.

  • ThatGuy

    So how would a simple plebe such as myself help with this commissary fund? For that matter, what the fuck is a commissary fund?

    • Toastrider

      Inmates have access to an account that can be used to buy specific goods at a prison commissary — kind of like a PX.

  • Gigaknight

    I look forward to your return.

  • Toastrider

    Keep your head up and stay strong. Do the time; don’t let the time do you.

  • Celerity

    “Friday,
    February 2Groundhog Day 2018 in United States of America”

    The question is, when the Ethan comes out of jail will he see his shadow or get another 6 weeks?

  • Silence Dogood

    Is anyone else experiencing problems with the front page not loading new stories? I only found out there were new stories when I looked at the site on my phone. I think all the new ads are screwing with something.

    • Toastrider

      I dunno if it’s the ads or that new triptych rotating-story thing at the top. I’ve had to reload to get new stories to pop up.

  • vr

    well I be damn you get out on my birthday and as a former corrections officer the stories are endless

  • Kek Wills It

    I look forward to the stories of you blubbering like a bitch your first night in.
    So have you joined the Aryan Brotherhood yet?

  • HisShadowX

    So wait are you going to be on parole or will you have served your sentence?