Mattress Girl Sulkowicz Porno News Update (UPDATE: Comedy Mashups)

Mattress Girl Sulkowicz Porno News Update (UPDATE: Comedy Mashups)

This is the biggest day we’ve had on the site pretty much all year, so thank you to all the new visitors (and to the old ones as well). First off, if you’re still looking for the video, it’s here. It’s also here (download), here (clips), and here (full video). It’s a “performance art,” but somehow I still think the advertisers would frown upon me showing it here. But it’s not going anywhere. It’s the Internet, baby! You can’t cover that shit up. I assume the server just got swamped, but who knows. Maybe Daddy said he was gonna cut her money off if she didn’t take her porn down.

Anyway, let’s recap the media frenzy that’s broke out since this morning, starting with Master Milo over at Breitbart:rJiV2af

Time said she “unveiled a new project.” Well, yes. I guess that’s one way of putting it:

A Columbia University student who carried a mattress around campus to protest the administration’s refusal to expel her alleged rapist has made a follow-up project– a performance art video about her alleged rape.

Emma Sulkowicz, who says she was raped by another student in 2012, has become one of the most prominent faces of campus sexual assault because of her senior thesis project — entitled Mattress Performance (Carry That Weight) — about what she considers to be the poor handling of her rape allegations by university authorities.

The Daily Beast went a harsher route. While the author doesn’t call her out for being full of shit on the rape, she does piss all over her “project”:

I have not seen the film in full, as it hasn’t been loading properly since early this morning, not long after it went live. (Sulkowicz has attributed the video’s malfunctioning to a cyber attack intended to shut down her website by flooding it with traffic. That said, the site itself works fine)…

[H]er desire to dictate the way people consume her work—to determine not just her narrative, but ours—undermines her credibility as an artist…

But when you turn a personal experience into a public spectacle and declare it art, you invite criticism. Part of performing is being judged and critiqued on the merits and quality of that performance…

Sulcowicz’s mattress project made her a national celebrity. But she’s not a student anymore. And if she thought the criticism and “mattress girl” labeling on campus was harsh, she may be better suited to activism than the art world.

The Daily Caller, said this:

This is an important reminder of that the word “consent” means. Sulkowicz has voluntarily posted a sex tape on the Internet, which means you may or may not have consent to watch that sex tape. It all depends on whether or not Sulkowicz appreciates your reaction to it. If you think it somehow reflects badly on her, or your reasons for watching it are different than her reasons for posting it, or she just decides she’s made a mistake, that means she has retroactively withdrawn her consent. That means it’s now your problem.

That means you are a rapist.

Seems legit.

What did our friends at Encyclopedia Dramatica have to say?

The video is preceded by a wall of text explaining that it isn’t a reenactment of the fake rape (probably for legal reasons since it clearly is, including a faked timestamp of the day of the non-rape), you should not watch it for “the wrong reasons“, and if you do, then you are literally raping Emma. This was done in a pathetic attempt to mask the fact she’s just a crazy slut who likes it when people look at her naked and is getting off to the thought of people jerking it to the tape was the only real reason she made it.

There’s a lot more media to look at here. The New York Daily NewsReason, RedState, Truth RevoltJezebelHuffington Post (even NeoGAF members were ragging on Emma)…pretty much anyone you can think of has written on this. You can tell right off top where the sympathies of the reporter lies. The ones trying to minimize this stunt are obviously already in the bag for Ms. Sulkowicz. Time weren’t the only ones who tried to act like this wasn’t just a low-rent pornography flick. But what else can you expect from the hapless mainstream idiots. At least we know anyone with half a brain saw through this transparent stunt. I haven’t seen too many people buying this trash, outside of the decrepit punditry…and that’s a good thing.

 

UPDATE: Comedy Mashups…

Shia “Just Do It” 1

Shia “Just Do It” Remix

Mattress Girl Emma Lulz

Ethan Ralph

Founder, Owner, & Editor-in-Chief of TheRalphRetort.com. Political fiend, gamer, & anti-bullshit.

  • An Honest Opinion
  • Eric Kelly

    I was reduced to a Mr. Popo style of laughter that I have not experienced in some time at the outcome of this “stunt” (because lets face it Mattress Girl it was a stunt to keep yourself relevant).

  • Ryo

    The New York Daily News comments are great. They were ripping Emma apart. Some were delete by them sadly. But the mostly everyone thinks she’s insane. Only cazy ass feminists are saying it activism. http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/anti-rape-activist-emma-sulkowicz-releases-sex-video-art-article-1.2247676

  • ElderWolf

    Of course those morons are protecting it, we’re talking about the same people that put Anita Sarkeesian in Time’s 100 even though she clearly lost. This is feminist propaganda to a T, even the trigger warning is rigged to call you the feminist flexible definition of rapist. You jerk of to it? You’re a rapist. You think she’s a slut? You’re a rapist. You think she’s doing this for attention? You’re a rapist. You think she’s reenacting her rape? You’re a rapist. You think she enjoys this? You’re a rapist. You notice she has blue hair? You’re a rspist…you get the point.

    • Zach Puckett

      How long until Mattress Girl is in Time’s top 100?

      • BasedLink

        In T minus 5 seconds…
        3…
        2…
        1…

        Nominated and won. With a “No” vote count that makes Anita’s rigged win look reasonable.

  • Random Dude

    “Seems Legit”

    Legit my greasy ass.

    • Freeman

      The Daily Caller article is actually dripping with sarcasm.

  • Zach Puckett

    “Performance art”…..can we just cut to the chase here it’s porn. It’s fucking porn. Terrible porn but porn none the less. Hell watching that made me appreciate professional porn. I didn’t know there was an art to it but now after seeing that shit every porn video I have ever watched can be dubbed the Citizen Kane of porn. I know I’m saying porn a lot but guess what that’s what it is. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go watch some good porn just to get that shit out of my head.

    • I didn’t put myself through the torture of watching it, but what you said gives me a rough idea of how bad it is. Basically, those pornos where everyone’s going “ooooh, ooooh” in a clearly fake tone and saying “fuck” or “shit” just for the hell of it every two seconds…. those are absolute masterpieces compared to this, right?

      • Zach Puckett

        Even the most bargain basement amateur porn I have ever seen was better than this. Party orgy videos were better in quality I am not even kidding.

      • It’s the “teens don’t know what they’re doing and fumbling around” kind.

  • KLLRFRST

    This is just all 31 flavors of stupid.

    She’s basically playing one of those asinine SJW head games where there is no winner. If you look at the tape, then it’s “rape”, even though it was made available for public viewing. It’s set in the location and time of the alleged rape, and recreates almost exactly what she claimed happened during her rape, yet she claims it’s “not a reenactment”. If you watch it for reasons she doesn’t like, that’s also “rape”, even though you can’t control what someone thinks of your work (which as an art student, she should already know – “art” is fully up to the interpretation of the viewer, not the artist). Even IF she was raped (that’s a HUGE “if”), this just demonstrates that she’s willing to use something as horrific as rape simply for attention.

    • shinningprodigy

      *in homer simpson voice* mmm… 31 flavors *drools*
      https://youtu.be/cTyxxJbnj2M

    • shinningprodigy

      Sorry, couldn’t resist. But on a serious note, you are right in that it creates a no win condition if you try criticizing this. Then again I tend to be the kind of person that once i see the doomsday button I start pressing it until it breaks. And when it comes to something as serious as rape you will see/hear some of the most irrational responses possible.

      In Emma’s case: she is an attention whore. And yes I will say those words because that is what she wants. She could have pursued her “activism” in other ways but she chose to do it in a way that left more people disappointed than watching the Kardashian sex tape. If she had any self respect she would get rid of that terrible dye job (go to a real beauty salon maybe), burn the mattress (poor thing suffered enough) and get some damn help because I honestly believe she needs psychiatric treatment. And to those who defend this art I say to them if someone were to make a shit statue (there is precedence people of this) in Emma’s likeness don’t start bitching and moaning that it’s filth. Cuz it’s art motherf*ckers, deal with it.

    • tz1

      One should not try to play head games when you lack the equipment

  • TheDevilsTowelboy

    ..

  • Freeman

    “I cordially invite you to fuck my life in the ass forever.” – Emma Sulkowicz after posting her sex tape

  • Ciaran Reid

    Oh Jehovah, it’s beautiful!

  • chris perez

    I have to give her credit for approving every damn post on her page. The comments section has blown up and is a collection of every meme ever posted on the internet. You have the occasional person trying to make sense of her nonsense but most of it is nothing but trolling. I can’t wait to see what she does next.

    • Prediction: the trolling will be held up as proof of the existence of “rape culture”. They’ll say that because most people viewed the video for the entertainment/titilation/opportunity to attack her, rather than for the message she was trying to spread, that rape culture is actually a thing and that patriarchy exists.

      Sorry. No. An audiences reaction to “art” (if that’s what this is) is only proof that subjective opinion exists and that an “artist’s” ability is up for scrutiny.

  • REAPER

    Hey! My computer just got a Trojan Virus with ads popping up on my screen every 5 seconds and my email is getting spam fucked with products I don’t want. AWESOME!

    Thanks Emma! :3

  • A Real Libertarian

    Hey Ralph, about that “GamerGate Blocklist”:
    https://archive.is/oEMLg

    Blatant false-flag.

    • Yea, that’s troll bullshit, or someone in GG trying to stir up shit.

  • Trevor

    EVERYONE PAY ATTENTION THIS WOMAN!
    THIS WOMAN IS WHAT YOUR CHILDREN TURN INTO WHEN YOU GO WITH THE “HELICOPTER PARENT” ROUTE.

  • Jorick
    • Barnassey

      Rofl, what movie is this gif from?

      • Zach Puckett

        George of the Jungle.

        • Barnassey

          The remake one with brendan whats his name?

          • Zach Puckett

            Yes.

  • Zach Puckett

    I just watched the comedy bits and I’m in tears. Welcome to the internet bitch! I demand more!

  • Matthew Dolby

    I’m still baffled that people are willing to defend this clearly deranged woman. Even when there’s CLEAR evidence of an accuser lying about rape, people will defend them. I don’t fucking get it.

  • Sevuz

    I bet feminist can shoot or beat people in public and still get away with it.

    The third video cracked me up xD

  • epobirs

    She’s an activist but not an anti-rape activist. She is on a campaign to make the public aware of the terrible burden of mental illness. I have to wonder if her parents, both shrinks, knew about this or were kept in the dark.

  • Olympion

    I really don’t see any reason for The Daily Caller’s link to be Archived: http://dailycaller.com/2015/06/05/is-emma-sulkowicz-the-first-porn-star-to-attend-the-sotu/

  • tz1

    Milo was devastating. Especially the line where he noted the “man’s” breasts were larger than Ms Sulk. Trans? I’m surprised the man cooporated – SJWs bite.

    The three great things are truth, goodness, and beauty.

    She is lies, evil, and ugliness.

    OTOH, perhaps this video will help those with an addiction to porn. Video antabuse.

    • shinningprodigy

      Sadly I had to watch hentai after this to calm my mental trauma after watching it.

      • tz1

        You know its bad when the first step back to normalcy is hentai

        • Nohbody

          And when it’s REALLY bad, you turn to “Legend of the Overfiend” (I can never remember nor spell the Japanese title, transliterated or in native moonspeak text 😛 ) as a first step back towards normalcy.

  • Richard Drakos

    Even Neogaf? Damn lol

  • shinningprodigy

    Here’s my review of Ceci N’est Pas Un Viol or as I would call it the Emma Sex Tape (Aka: A Lying Ho by Any Other Name):

    The scene starts out with a man and woman entering a room to what appears like a shoddy reenactment of foreplay. The focal point in the very first seconds of this act of courtship(?) is not the mattress itself but Emma’s apparent self-dyed blue hair (I presume based on its apparent quality). It is possibly the most vibrant thing that you will see throughout the entire video which spans 8 minutes and is shown from four different camera angles simultaneously on screen. (Keep this in mind.)

    After some brief kissing and touching the two actors(?) proceed to undress. There is no sensual acting, no strip tease. While a nude woman should be the focal point here she is easily outshone by her male costar, and not in a good way. One wonders at this point if this is bestiality, but I digress. The foreplay ensues to the quickest time a man has ever eaten out any woman: 6 seconds. This could be due to either shitty writing or first time jitters. From the look of things I still can’t tell. Some foreplay ensues again already wasting about an eighth of this video’s run time.

    It isn’t until the 0:58 mark that we finally get to the blow job… and it disappoints. The approximate 19 seconds this act of fellatio showed Emma at one of her most vulnerable moments: not knowing what to do. The penis was sucked sure enough but no technique was applied making one wonder if Emma is even experienced in said sex acts. And of course the blue hair ruins the moment as it easily becomes the focal point yet again. We get to the 1:24 mark where Emma pulls out a condom (safety first) and things are slow until the 1:38 mark where Emma decides to go on top to start things off. Probably the only time we get any ass shots of Emma which are still disappointing considering how she lacks consistency in her cowgirl technique. The grinding, while deserving of a B for effort, becomes a turn off when she leans in to kiss her bearish partner. All seems okay until we get about a quarter way into the video, at the 2:11 mark.

    At this point the male actor takes control after switching positions. Those uncomfortable looking at another man’s ass might want to steer clear of CAM 3 at this point. The act of missionary intercourse proceeds normally, as it can be considered(?), until a brief pause at 2:49. Here we get the instance of the “rape” we are supposed to see. The slap delivered to Emma’s face was pitifully weak. Hell the male actor had to pause his drilling(?) of the female actor to lay a smack so pitiful Bobby Brown could materialize out of no where to give him a lesson or two. (Note: Sadly no Boondocks footage could be found of Bobby Brown smacking Whitney Houston. I apologize to readers in advance.) This is possibly the weakest moment of this video. The lackluster performance continues with “pleas” of “stop” further turning off anyone who would’ve taken this porn seriously. Those who were fapping at this point would feel the need to turn off their computer. If you feel depressed, remember life is still beautiful outside of blue haired feminism (the last statement will not be redacted).

    Safety no longer becomes a concern as the male actor decides to throw caution to the wind and take his condom off at the 3:24 mark effectively making this video’s title now “How Mommy and Daddy Made You”. Emma at this point shows some level of discomfort leaving the audience to wonder if she is now being drilled anally. It is hard to tell given the camera work here. The drilling continues as Emma begins to cover her face (probably from sheer enjoyment or lack of thereof, it’s hard to tell). This continues until the 4:13 mark where it appears the male actor has had enough. Whether the male actor had regrets or came at this point is unclear as the camera angles do no justice. Hell when he gets up we are yet again treated to a shot of his penis in CAM 1, a scene no straight man or lesbian woman probably wants to see. Emma demonstrates further lack of acting skills as she assumes a fetal position that looks more like she fell asleep. Wrestlers have sold weaker performances than this ladies and gentlemen. The male costar decides to finally exit stage (our) left without putting on his clothes. Nope he carries them with him as he leaves while CAM 1 focuses on his ass again effectively ruining the possibility of maintaining an erection while watching this video, unless that is your thing (I don’t judge). Officially he is gone at 4:33 mark making us wonder if this was his first time having sex. That or if he just came too quick. Fortunately we will never know.

    Emma is still sleeping, because no one can ever possibly fuck up acting the fetal position, for 10 more seconds waking up at around 4:43. Keep in mind there is still a little over 3 minutes left ladies and gentlemen. Slowly she begins to come to where she finally lays down straight on her back. Any hopes of watching her satisfy herself are crushed at 4:56 when it now becomes obvious that her left hand has an aversion to her own vagina. Dazed and confused she looks like she forgot what she was suppose to do until she gets up at 5:27 to presumably find a masturbatory aide (one can hope). She gets up giving us a view of that ridiculous blue hair that is the focal point yet again. We get a decent ass shot in CAM 1 at 5:37 but honestly no one cares at this point. Chances are you probably have seen better booties elsewhere, possibly being squeezed by your own two hands, but gotta give some credit when its due. She needs to get the attention of men somehow.

    We see her reach for a towel around 5:50 and leave to take a shower (presumably) closing the door behind her. She comes back not even a minute later at around 6:22. If this was intended to signify her feeling “dirty” it comes off weak. A shower scene probably could’ve given more of an impact granted that would be asking too much. In any case its best to just get to the point. From here it just drags on with her putting on some white sheets on her mattress and pillow, while nude, before deciding to take a nap around 7:21. The video continues like this for another minute finally calling it quits at 8:10.

    Titled Ceci N’est Pas Un Viol (This is not a Rape) this video finds itself lacking in substance that only seems artsy because of a French title. You can call shit merde (in French) but it’s still shit, just like this video. Hell Ceci est Merde (This is Crap) would have been a better title.

    Of course we know its not a rape because its not even sold like one. Hell there are better videos, dare I say movies, that show the ugliness of rape. And some of these movies do a better job selling that message to the point you could cheer the protagonist in their vengeance murder spree. Want to watch a movie where you see a woman humiliated, degraded and then kick ass without giving two shits… fuck, watch I Spit on Your Grave (1978) produced by Mier Zarchi. Hell even the producer’s inspiration for this film is more genuine then that of Emma Sulkowicz attention grab for 8 minutes of fame. Give even more credit to the beautiful actress Camille Keaton who sold one of the most solid performances the like of which makes you cringe and cheer for her immediately after.

    Of course there was better acting, writing and budget involved with I Spit on Your Grave but I won’t pull punches on a half-ass attempt at “mattress art” that only appeals to anyone who can’t think for themselves. You think this is empowering? Fuck! The only empowerment is the shady politicians who would get the easy feminist vote or celebrities, with more privilege than cash, who want to sell their next comedy show (or album). Try talking to someone who was a victim of rape, especially pre-internet era, and get a better first hand experience of how cruel the world can be sometimes. You’ll see just how this changed their lives. You think a patreon could cure that? Ask them and find out.

    Overall, this 8 minute video sucks as a narrative and as a porn. It’s hard to take seriously and easy to poke fun at because of just how easy it is to put out a sex tape. To anyone claiming this is not a sex tape (or porn) there is still sex involved and a video is now circulating. If you call this video art then you open the discussion that all porn is art. And trust me, it doesn’t help your message. These are 8 minutes I won’t get back, much less the additional times I had to watch to write this review. Acting was crummy and having a lousy trigger warning on the website’s page, where this was originally posted, is the only indication an outsider would have had that this was inspired by a “rape”. Believe what you want but there are better videos out there to waste 8 minutes of your life, some not even porn related. And lastly if you do consider it art remember art is open to criticism which means there’s really nothing you can do about people who won’t “get it”. Just because it has a French title doesn’t make it art you hipsters (or delusion peeps). I could easily give this video a Spanish title of my own and call it Este Video es Mierda (This Video is Shit). To paraphrase Dave Chappelle I wish I had more hands so I can give this video more thumbs down.

    Goodnight ladies and gentlemen, feel free to agree/disagree.

  • SIlver666

    Bäh! I watched it now I can’t eat for days.

  • SIlver666

    After watching this disgusting garbage I now know why this person is only attracted to dogs.

  • Gamer

    Ralph, I’ve got a serious question for you.

    Or anyone else that wants to chip in.

    First, remember a few months back a video of a woman in the Oregon State University Library pleasuring and exposing herself (solo) went viral? Well she was retroactively kicked off campus, fined up to $6,000, and possible jail time months after the act occurred. Since that’s when the video went viral or public.

    OSU students were able to recognize the Library and call it OSU Library, otherwise no one would have known the location. Important for later on, because everyone knows which college Emma went to, her false allegations story is all over the press.

    Now let’s apply this situation to the current liar Emma. She filmed a porno in her dorm room. While it’s not a public place (heck, no one saw the Library Girl in the act), I can’t imagine Columbia University is happy to have hosted a porno on campus.

    Keep in mind she said (from lame interview) that she filmed this back in December. So she waited until AFTER she graduated (to avoid suspension) before releasing her sex tape. Idiots will be idiots, since she must not know she can still have her degree taken away post graduation.

    I’ll retract my comments if this was not a dorm room. But I don’t know of any apartment that has no kitchen, bath, etc.

    My question is: What will Columbia University do, if anything?

    • They won’t do anything, just have they haven’t done anything, because they don’t want to face the backlash.

  • Oto

    Milo really blew it out of the park with that review.