AND NOW, TIME FOR SOME GOOD NEWS: We're Getting Married

AND NOW, TIME FOR SOME GOOD NEWS: We’re Getting Married

There’s been some really depressing shit happen to me over the last couple months. We’ve been over my recent troubles quite enough, though, so I won’t waste time repeating the same stuff I’ve already said. Saying things haven’t gone to plan would be an understatement. But one thing that has remained constant, even in the face of all this controversy and hardship, is the love I share with Nora Malik. In my darkest hour, it was something I was able to hold onto.Β In good times and in bad, she has been right there by my side.

Yes, the bad has outweighed the good the last couple weeks, but that’s not always been the case. Earlier this year, for instance, I took a lovely trip to England and was lucky enough to spend my entire time there in the company of the person I love the most on this earth: Nora. During that adventure, I proposed to her and she accepted. I cannot properly express how much that meant to me. I’m actually sort of afraid that this post won’t do my feelings justice, but I’m gonna try.

I am astonished that such an amazing and beautiful woman has accepted me as her future husband and I look forward to the day we are able to exchange our vows. She came to me during one of the lowest points in my life and lifted me up like no one else ever has. She stuck by me through thick and thin ever since. And lord knows I have not always made that easy. In fact, I’m confident many women would have shown me the door for even a fraction of the stupid shit I’ve gotten myself into. But she’s always shown tremendous patience with my foibles and has been my biggest champion. In public and in private, she has encouraged and inspired me. I simply could not ask for a better person to spend the rest of my life with.

We all make mistakes in this life, I more than most. Then there’s those times when you really know you hit the jackpot. That perfectly describes how I feel about Nora. It’s weird to live your life in the public eye, and even though it’s not like I’m a mega-celebrity or something, I would say our relationship qualifies. Most people don’t write posts on their highly-trafficked blog to announce the news of their nuptials, after all. Nora has always been patient with that aspect of my life, even during those times when its been hard (like the last couple weeks). She has beenΒ indefatigable when it comes to working with me on this site and on us. I strive to live up to that example every single day. I am not perfect. Not even close. I do love this woman with all my heart, though. I can also honestly tell you that she is the best person I’ve ever gotten to know. She’s kind-hearted, thoughtful, funny, smart, and I have so much fun with her that I could write an entire article on that aspect alone. In short, she is the woman I’ve dreamed of my whole life…and that’s not even mentioning her beauty.

I’m quite certain there will be more difficulties in my life, as there will be in the lives of all those who read this post. To live is to suffer. But life also holds the possibility of phenomenal joy and happiness. No one has brought me more of those two things than Nora Malik. I thank Fortune every day for bringing her into my life. We kept our engagement private until now for several reasons, but given the spate of problems as of late, we jointly decided that it was time to share some good news. I can’t expect you all to be quite as happy as I am, but I imagine most of you will be pretty enthused for me. I mean, it’s obvious I’ve won the love lottery when it comes by snagging her. I know she feels the same way, although I’m not sure how. Regardless, she makes me want to be a better person, and live a better life. I’m determined to do both, with her by my side.

Thank you all, and enjoy the rest of the weekend. I’ll be back early Sunday morning with more regular fare. There’s still plenty of SJWs to wreck. πŸ˜‰

Ethan Ralph

Founder, Owner, & Editor-in-Chief of TheRalphRetort.com. Political fiend, gamer, & anti-bullshit.

  • Internet_Zen_Master

    You 2are getting married?
    Mazel tov!

    Or something like that, I’m tired as hell right now.

  • Mouth

    Congratulations you two!!

  • Pavement ApeHunter

    Congrats on taking your skype relationship to the next level.

    • Elainegoglesby

      Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !mj377d:
      On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
      !mj377d:
      ➽➽
      ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash377NetworkTodayGetPay$97Hour β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…::::::!mj377d:….,…….

    • Haha thank you.

    • Susielrodriguez3

      Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !m338d:
      On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
      !m338d:
      ➽➽
      ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash338MediaClubGetPay$97Hour β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…::::::!m338d:….,…..

      • GodBowser

        Are you a bot?

  • Congats, you stud!

  • Deb

    Damn, dude… I got teary eyes here. This is just great. You’re the sweetest couple. You guys deserve the best, the very best.

    Don’t know if you made justice to your feelings but wrote beautifully as always.

    • Aw, thank you so much, Deb! I really loved this comment and I’m glad you liked what I had to say here. I tried to put some real thoughtfulness into it. I hope it came across as such.

  • Alex Barbu

    I expected this to happen eventually (unless you messed it up really bad), but can’t say I expected it this soon.
    Nevertheless, congratulations you shitlord and shitlady! May you shitpost happily together for the rest of your lives.

  • GodBowser

    Congratulations and will you be keeping the location of the wedding a secret just in case nut job Wu happens to be in the area and try’s to crash the party

    • Deb

      What a shame we gotta fear for our safety coz SJWackos.

    • Someone else made a joke about that in a chat I’m in. I laughed it off at first, but idk, the mfer is seriously disturbed.

  • FirstLine

    Grats

  • RuralScot

    Great news, congratulations.

  • Mr0303

    Congratulations to both of you. May you live a happy life together.

  • Flowey

    Congrats Ralph

    • Thx Flowey!

      • Flowey

        No problem πŸ™‚ Hope you two have many wonderful years together.

  • Onyx

    Congrats dude.

  • BoredbyMSM

    Congrats man, women like Nora are hard to find!

  • Skin

    So, as a biggest Ralph fangirl (my previous username here was LongLiveGamergate if that means anything and there was that tweet and stuff, nvm) Nora, I have to tell you, since you crushed my fangirl dreams, you better take good care of him. You are a beatiful, intelligent, simply amazing woman(fuck you :p)and I cannot think of anyone better for Ralph. I am so happy for both of you, I don’t know much about your situation but I know that Ralph needs someone like you by his side, when even the strongest fall, but also someone who will ocassionally force some sense into him ;p. Even shitlords need love :D.

    Ralph, no whores at the bachelors party, unless you are gonna play GTA, virtual whores are acceptable.

    Nora, you beautiful she-demon, learn to make the best sandwiches.

    GG guys πŸ™‚

    • <3 thank you for this. Yes, that username defintely means something and that's still one of my biggest tweets ever. #2, I think. No whores, I promise!

  • Martin Scoff

    Congrats!

  • D-Bone

    Awwwww, congrats! So happy for you two =)

  • Dave

    Aw this is great, congrats! In a few months time that other shit will have been dealt with and you’ll be able to return your focus to the best parts of life πŸ™‚

  • Mykeru

    Congratulations on getting married!

  • Mykeru

    There’s at least one e-celeb that I can think of who hates the fact that you’re in a stable relationship because he can’t replicate that within his own life. The one with poor impulse control and who talks like a schizophrenic frat boy who’s done too many drugs.

    • I can never understand some of these haters, to be honest. There are legitimate reasons to dislike me. I’ve never denied that. But the pettiness involved with some of their grudges is kind of astounding. As far as being jealous about Nora and I’s steady relationship, I guess that’s one of the more reasonable ones, all things considered lol.

      • DisneyVillain

        I can’t think of a single about you to dislike. I can understand SJWs and femcunts hating you, but that’s because your site exposes their bullshit.

  • Yarlg

    So… which country are you going to live together in?

    • Silence Dogood

      Pakistan. kek

      • Deb

        Ralph, Nora: please, come to Brazil!

        • I hope I can someday!

        • Silence Dogood

          Nuuuuuu, Zika lives there. D:

          • Deb

            Yes, but not in the South. =) Too cold.

  • Fantastic news- congratulations, and much happiness to the both of you! When life goes to hell, having one solid partner to rely on makes all the difference. Glad you guys have that. E )

  • Gigaknight

    Congratulations, Lich and Butter.

  • Silence Dogood

    You’re not supposed to put the actual event in the headline, c’mon! I need more stimulating clickbait in my diet. πŸ˜‰ Congrats though, yay marriage.

    • Lol, I need to learn to clickbait better! This will be news to my army of haters.

      And thank you, man.

  • axisfiver axisfiver

    congrats guys!

  • Congratulations man. This is sure to sting a lot of your haters

    • Deb

      It’s already stinging. Sad.

  • Jak Constantine

    Congrats. I hope you didn’t propose to her at Arby’s.

  • DukeMagus

    So… Nora Ralph or Ethan Malik?

    Also, she might have some trouble coming to the USA depending on the border policies, right?

    • Typically Deplorable

      Not really, bona fide marriage is like a sure green card IIRC.

    • Nora Ralph.

  • d0x360

    Betting pool on time till divorce. Down for $50 @ 7 months 2 weeks.

    No offense.

  • Magleramaxis

    Does the coming child count as the first GamerGate baby? If it doesn’t, ah whatever. Cuteness will ensue.

    Congratulations to the both of you!

  • DisneyVillain

    Congrats on getting married you two. The couple that expose SJW bullshit together stay together.

  • RevDr. Robert Foster, AbC, EfG

    I’m still trying to figure out what you have on her…

    Nah, I’m kidding. I could tell before your second visit you were crazy about her, man, and I actually mentioned something on here about a proposal being the real reason you went back (or was it on Twitter? @a_holeRwFoster). *shrugs* Regardless, congratulations, you two. I’m happy for you both.

    • Yes, I think it was pretty obvious I was/am smitten.

      • RevDr. Robert Foster, AbC, EfG

        Obvious? Nah. No more so than the Pope is Catholic, and rich…

  • Kellen Joel

    Hey, congratulations, man! Wish you both the best of luck!

  • KLLRFRST

    Congrats, you two! About time Nora made an honest man out of you, Ralph!

  • Cenobite

    Briana is going to be so heart broken. She’s going to burn her shrine to you down. Mwahahahahaha.
    Seriously best wishes. So you going there, or is she coming here?
    With Brexit done you know, if Trump doesn’t make it to the white house going there might be safer cause it’s going to be war here.

  • CultofZoidberg

    Congratulations I wish you the best

  • Italy GG

    Congrats!

  • Archibald Neverfold

    Congrats, man. I hope you two continue to be stronger together during your troubles.

  • Peepsmgee

    But..but..but I th-thought you hated w-womyns?

  • Typically Deplorable

    They gonna allow you conjugals, fucker? J/k Good luck with everything

  • Erthwjim

    Late to the game, but k1 visa or marriage one (i forget it’s number) or are you going to the UK?