TheRalphRetort.com

A Nightmare On Heat Street

Most of you are already well aware that I am no fan of Heat Street. In fact, I think TheRalphRetort.com has been the single greatest critic of the site. You can search at the tag at the end of this article if you would like...

MOVE BITCH: NYT Writer Accuses White Women Of Racism Because They Don’t Move For Him

Sometimes you read things and you wonder if it’s real life. Surely, people don’t think that this. No one can have so much time on their hands that these are the things they take note of. Greg Howard is a writer for the New York...

HONOUR KILLING: 19-Year Old Girl Found Dead In Fridge In South London

A 19-year old and, her cousin, a 21-year old were allegedly kidnapped and taken to a house in Kingston, London. The police were made aware of the missing girls after a concerning phone call around 5 pm, and had been searching for them in a...

Sean Spicer

BREAKING: Sean Spicer Resigns As White House Press Secretary

Spicer resigned on Friday morning, shortly after President Trump selected Anthony Scaramucci as communications director. His replacement will be Sarah Huckabee. This may be a good change, Spicer has been leaves much to be desired with his performances. I’m not familiar with Sarah Huckabee but...

TRAVEL BAN: USA To Ban Americans Visiting North Korea

USA is to ban its citizen from travelling to North Korea. The ban will be announced on 27th July and will come into effect 30 days afterwards, according to tour groups that operate in North Korea. US officials have confirmed there will be a ban...

TURKEY: Schools To Teach Concept Of Jihad

Turkey is like the Weeping Angel from Doctor Who. Every time you blink, the situation gets worse. Turkish school will now teach children the concept of jihad under President Edrogan’s new curriculum. The new curriculum excludes Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution because we don’t want...

BREAKING: John McCain diagnosed with brain cancer

U.S. Senator John McCain was found to have a brain tumor, according to a statement released by his office and the Mayo Clinic. In the statement it said that on 14th July, Senator McCain had a blood clot removed from his eye at the Mayo Clinic Hospital. Turns...

INSANITY: People Are Warned Against Promoting Work Of Straight White Males

As some of you may know, I’m currently an undergrad at university studying in the STEM field. As a result I do a lot of lab reports and essay. When I’m reading papers, I’m not particularly paying attention to the authors until it’s time for...

CRAZY DEMOCRATS: Charlotte City Council Member Says Trump Supporters Have No Place In Government

Dimple Ajmera, a member of the Charlotte City Council, said on NBC’s Flashpoint that Trump supporters should not be leading local government. The newly appointed council member was getting worked up over President Trump and his supporters, saying Republicans that are supporting Trump, they should...

SHOCKING: Newborn Dies After Being Put in Trash

Some people are real pieces of shit. Estella Ruiz-Gomez gave birth during her break at a restaurant that she worked at. Her mother, Lorenza Gomez Rodriguez, also worked at the restaurant. These two women decided it would be a great idea to stick the newborn in...

IRAN: US Announces Fresh Sanctions Over Ballistic Missile Program

To no one’s surprise, the US has announced fresh sanctions against Iran over its ballistic missile programs. Iran developing and testing ballistic missiles violates the UN Security Resolution 2231 which ‘calls upon Iran not to undertake any activity related to ballistic missiles designed to be...

MUSLIM WORLD: People Want Girl Arrested For Wearing A Mini-skirt

I’ve seen some pretty outrageous stuff in public; a woman calling her child a failed abortion, a woman shitting at the side of the pub and a man wearing saggy jeans. Most of these things made me grimace for a second and then move on....

LIVE FROM HIS NEET CAVE: Stuttering and Stammering Ian Miles Cheong Completely Humiliates Himself on National Television

(Guest Article by The Gator Gamer ) Here at The Ralph Retort dot com, we love any and every opportunity to poke fun at dying Heat Street’s (now former) diversity hire, Ian Miles Cheong, so when the aforementioned “Lil Hitler” decided to broadcast directly from...

BREAKING NEWS: 16 YEAR OLD CHARGED OVER LONDON ACID ATTACKS.

On Thursday, five acid attacks occurred in London over the course of 90 minutes. Two boys were arrested; a 15 year old boy and a 16 year old boy. Allegedly, these boys threw acid in the face of the victims and then proceeded to rob...

Linda Sarsour Is A Traitor

The following article is from NewMediaCentral, an amazing site that I think you should all check out. They have great news and opinion pieces, and they’re not afraid to give their candid opinion on controversial topics. The site was founded by my friends Sal Traina...

Free Speech Fight on Right Provides Insights

You would be surprised at the amount of information I receive in this shithole. For instance, there is a newspaper delivered every morning, however only one copy is provided. I left out one a pertinent fact: that paper is the Washington Post. Still, things could...