TheRalphRetort.com

Godfrey Elfwick Brilliantly Trolls Guardian With “Alt-Right Nearly Turned Me Racist” Column

This is one of the best trolls of 2016. I won’t put it at number 1 without much more thought, but I think it’s defintely in the Top 5. Master media manipulator Godfrey Elfwick just struck the British media once again, and this time the...

TERRORISM: Veteran Has His House Burned & Sprayed With Anti-Trump Graffiti

Sometimes people get a little hyperbolic when describing an attack as terrorism. But you can’t describe something like this as anything other than terrorism. A veteran just had his house torched and sprayed with graffiti…all because he supported Donald Trump. If this had happened to...

LULZ OVERLOAD: Brianna Wu for Public Office?

It’s was busy week for me on the personal front, so again, I apologize for the paucity of posts from yours truly. I should be back to full speed this week, if things go as planned. I do have a couple personal errands later today but...

Tulsi Gabbard For Secretary of State

As happy as I’ve been about Donald Trump winning the presidential election, I’ve got to admit that reports about the likely front-runners for the position of Secretary of State have put a damper on my mood. It turns out notorious warmongers like John Bolton, Rudy...

FAKE NEWS: Media Spreads False Ivanka Trump Quote About Macing The Donald

There has been a lot of discussion about so-called “fake news” as of late. I don’t disagree that there is a lot of bullshit floating around on the internet. It’s also true that some of the false stuff you see can be traced to pro-Trump...

BIZARRO WORLD: Huffington Post Goes Full 1488, Calls For Creation of Separate White Ethno-state

Ever since Trump won the election, the left has been freaking out. As progressives lose power on the electoral map, it seems like some of them are trying to make new compromises in order to retain full executive power over metropolitan areas. An enterprising contributor...

TRIGGERED: ‘Sikh Captain America’ Pledges to Fight Racism After Trump Win

Ever since Trump won the election, the left has been absolutely freaking out and the headlines are getting wackier by the day. One of the funniest headlines to come my way is from World Religion News: “Sikh Captain America Set to Fight Racism In Trump’s...

BAN INCOMING? My Twitter Just Got Locked for 12 Hours…Again (UPDATE)

Earlier this evening, my Twitter was locked for 12 hours. This isn’t the first time this has happened. In fact, by my count, it’s the 5th. But with all the bans going down as of late, I think the final banhammer might be swinging down...

Former “Ready for Hillary” Director Says Bernie Sanders May be a White Supremacist

Democrats keep handling the election of Donald Trump in the worst ways possible. When they’re not busy blaming the Russians, white people, the FBI director, or anything else they can think of, they turn their fire inward. For refusing to bow down before the false...

FAIL: Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey Just Got Suspended From His Own Service!

File this under the weirdest thing I’ve heard all year…and that’s saying an awful lot for the wild and wacky 2016. Jack Dorsey, the CEO of Twitter, has been suspended from his own service. I’m quite certain he will be reinstated later, but I think...

Dear Mama (My Recent Posting Absence Explained)

You might have noticed that I’ve been MIA the last several days. There’s a very good reason for this that has nothing to do with me falling off the wagon, or anything like that. My mother was hospitalized for the last several days due to...

O CANADA: One Arrested After ‘Yelling Match’ Breaks Out Between Anti & Pro-Trump Demonstrators in Toronto

There’s been reports of arrests of quite a few of the rioters involved in Portland’s unprecedented civil unrest. What made the Portland riots unique was that a large percentage of those doing the smashing and burning were white people. But now, even angry white liberals...

Trump Bumper Sticker = Anti-Trump Goonsquad Torches Car & “FK TRUMP” Spray Paint

Wow, Obama really needs to get his boys in check. Now his Brownshirts have torched a car and spray painted another with “FK TRUMP” in Portland, Oregon, and all because of a Trump bumper sticker. It sounds like only one car had a sticker on...

trump sjw

Now is the Time to Finish Off the Battle Against the Poisonous SJW Agenda

The election of Donald Trump has already paid off in a major way and he’s just getting started. The triggering of SJWs has been unprecedented. They’re reacting in some amazingly stupid ways, not the least of which is the open hatred of the white race...

KANYE WEST COMES OUT IN SUPPORT OF TRUMP — Says He Would Have Voted For Him

OK, don’t laugh. But I’ve always had a love-hate relationship with Kanye West. While some of his music is extremely annoying — the song “Flashing Lights” ruined a good 1-2 years of my life, for instance — he does have his moments of genius. And...

Openly Socialist Politician Cries About Harassment After Call To Shut Down Trump’s Inauguration

One of the few openly socialist politicians in the USA, Kshama Sawant — a city councilwoman in my hometown of Seattle, Washington — has resorted to whining about harassment after she called for a ‘nationwide shutdown’ and an ‘occupation’ of Trump’s inauguration. The lady is...