YOU'RE WELCOME, FEMINISTS! TheRalphRetort.com Raised Thousands of Dollars for Aspiring Female Game Devs

YOU’RE WELCOME, FEMINISTS! TheRalphRetort.com Raised Thousands of Dollars for Aspiring Female Game Devs

I wanted to take this moment to graciously accept you thanks for raising thousands of dollars for aspiring female game developers. In the wake of my absolute destruction of BioWare (more on that in the next post) and the lying liars who run the place, some people were angry. We went over that already. Actually, they’re still pretty angry. So much so that they decided to open their wallets and give away their hard-earned (lol) cash to some charity that I had never heard of before yesterday.

Man, that will really show me! I mean, I obviously hate women and all, what, with being engaged to one. Oh, I’m also racist somehow, but I still haven’t figured that one out.

Here’s more on the amazing work we’ve accomplished here at TheRalphRetort.com…

Over the weekend, Naughty Dog artist Alex Neonakis started getting nasty Twitter messages from GamerGaters and other internet cretins. Exasperated, she tweeted some screencaps, along with a message: “I just donated to @GirlsMakeGames in honor of these lovely boys. Thanks guys!” Other developers followed her lead.

By Tuesday, hundreds of game developers had donated thousands of dollars to Girls Make Games, an organization that provides workshops and summer camps to young women who are interested in developing video games. (Before you start asking “why isn’t there a ‘Boys Make Games’?”, consider that, by the ESA’s account, just 22% of game industry employees are women. That’s why.)

Neonakis, who has written for Kotaku about her work on The Last of Us, started seeing angry tweets on Saturday night after she wrote a rant about the vile treatment of an EA animator who worked on Mass Effect: Andromeda. “I’ve worked in this industry for 10 years. I have clawed to where I am today despite people telling me I couldn’t and shouldn’t,” she wrote on Twitter. “And at every damn step some asshole likes to pass it all off as ‘well you’re a girl so obviously that helped.’”

Shortly afterwards, Twitter cretins started sending Neonakis messages, which led her to donate $500 to Girls Make Games. (She donated another $500 today.)…

Following Neonakis’s $500 donation, dozens of other developers tweeted their own contributions, from Uncharted 4 director Neil Druckmann (“I look forward to one of these girls replacing me”) to Firewatch director Jake Rodkin and many more, including staff at Ready At Dawn, Disney, High Moon, Blizzard, and lots of others. 

This brings a tear to my eye, fam. I mean, who couldn’t get behind touching sentiments like this one?

By the way, Kotaku is obviously not “woke” enough, because according this superb site, the game industry is only 12% female, not the 22% cited above. C’mon, Kotaku…it’s 2017! You really need to update your bogus statistics on the problematic nature of gaming.

Anyway, I just thought you guys would love to find out about all the awesome charity work we’re doing around here. I’ve single-handedly done more for young women in gaming than pretty much anyone else on planet Earth.

You’re welcome, feminists.

Ethan Ralph

Founder, Owner, & Editor-in-Chief of TheRalphRetort.com. Political fiend, gamer, & anti-bullshit.

  • Grumble guy

    4D chess huh, smooth moves Ralph

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  • Lost Question

    so that was the noise i was hearing

  • Jason Eastwood

    Implying that:

    – Girls CANNOT study game design without a charity to smuggle them past the aggressive misogynists guarding the university entrance;

    – Women aren’t smart enough to make the decision to develop games, they need a charity to encourage them;

    – The reason only 0.00000000001% of game devs are women isn’t due to choice, it’s because male devs simply open fire on every woman who walks through the door, which is the only way I can think of to explain such a low statistic in a country where ANYONE can be ANYTHING they choose;

    – The real problem is that there aren’t enough women in game design. Which is WAAAY more serious than the millions of women around the world held hostage in abusive forced marriages, sex slavery, poverty, and having children in filthy mud huts because they have no access to medical care or contraception. But no, seriously, none of those things is nearly as important as having a league of insufferable hypocritical bigots injecting their ideaology into gaming (one of the few remaining refuges men have from being surrounded by strong womyn and cucks trying to cut our balls off at every turn).

    Seriously though. Bringing feminists into game design is like walking into an orphanage for sexually abused children, and letting a couple of paedophiles run wild for 2 days a week, then telling the kids that if they don’t like it then they’re misandrist bigots who don’t understand a man’s right to be a man.

    Hey you! Yes, you! The lady with the tablet her husband bought her! Are you a western woman with NO real troubles at all? Have too much time on your hands and want someone to fight with all the time? Don’t really give a shit about any woman who doesn’t speak English and isn’t from your country, even though having their problems for 10 minutes would make you kill yourself? Do you feel that having a house, food, fresh water, and all the fun you can handle leaves you feeling hard done by and not nearly spoilt enough? Would you like something to change while expecting men to do it all for you so that you don’t chip your new princess nails? Then FEMINISM is for you!!! After all, who needs equality with men when you’re already treated better than they are?

    • Audrius Kliukas

      You just hit the nail on the head. It cannot simply be that women make different life choices, no no. It must be THE PATRIARCHY. I wonder when will they tackle absolutely abysmal 0% female employment rate in coal mining, logging or other potentially dangerous and physically demanding jobs. Well, it’s probably not 0, but I bet it’s pretty darn close to it.

      • Jason Eastwood

        Women have said themselves, without a hint of irony, “Those are gross icky jobs. Men should be made to do those!!” and our logical brains are screaming “BUT THATS SO HYPOCRITICAL!!!” but in the princess mindset that’s just how it is. Women shouldn’t have to do anything they don’t want to. Men should be forced to do things they don’t want to. And that’s just how the world should work! Fairness and logic simply don’t come into it.

        Imagine if I walked into a jewellery store and put on a handful of rings and left. The Woman owner tells me I can’t do that so I just say well yes I can and I will. I’m important. I shouldn’t have to pay for something I don’t want to pay for. Then a Female Police Officer arrives and I say no, you’re not arresting me, I don’t feel like being arrested therefore you can’t do anything about it. Then I’m hauled off to a male judge, who says, Why was this man arrested? He told you he didn’t feel like being arrested and you should have let him have the rings he wanted. I’m sentencing the Shop owner to pay 100k in damages for mental distress, and the arresting officer has 10 years in prison.

        This is how women think the patriarchy works, and the sad fact is that the reverse is almost true. How else can you have a woman divorce her husband after a year and walk away with all his possessions and most of his earnings for life?

        • Audrius Kliukas

          Yeah, it’s interesting how 50/50 equality is somehow only required in nice, comfortable office jobs. On the other end of the scale though, should more men be required to work as nurses and secretaries, since those are predominantly female occupied? What happened to letting people choose what they want to do and let the chips fall where they may. Want to incentivise, fine, but mandatory quotas are stupid and against human nature quite frankly.

          There are certainly areas where women do certainly get preferential treatment, like divorce, child care, jail sentences. If you mention it however, then you are labeled women hating MRA. Sad.

    • Mr0303

      Quality rant, mate. Bravo!

    • MarthaMyDearTX

      I’m a female gamer and agree with all of your statements. Great job!

      • Jason Eastwood

        The unfortunate truth is that none of what I described even applies to 98% of women in the world: it’s the minority in predominantly wealthy Western nations who seem to have this overly entitled Princess syndrome, and even then, most women I know are perfectly normal, agreeable human beings. You generally find this to be true as long as you don’t hang out on University/College Campuses, Tumblr, and certain Facebook groups that are all simply echo chambers for the delusional.

        On the flip side, I would think a huge percentage of female gamers must go through hell every time they set foot online. With leagues of foul-mouthed teenage sperglords rushing to the rescue with tipped fedoras at the ready, who then get all mouthy when you don’t want to have sex with them even though they SAID they were nice guys and “not like other guys who just want sex!!”

        It used to be that you could send them a “selfie” of a middle-aged guy in a bra and a wig with his junk spilling out of his g-string, but thanks to 4chan; now it just makes them even more excited.

  • Mr0303

    “I look forward to one of these girls replacing me” – spoken like a true mangina. Despite that I’m with Druckmann on that – I can’t wait for someone to replace him so that I may start buying Naughty Dog games again – be that a man or a woman. Oh, and by the way, he didn’t have a problem when he replaced Amy Hennig (A WOMAN!) as the lead writer for Uncharted 4.

  • Mr0303

    Neonakis doesn’t see the irony in the following 2 actions:
    – her stating “And at every damn step some asshole likes to pass it all off as ‘well you’re a girl so obviously that helped.”
    – her donating to a girl only charity

    Instead of learning from her experience and hard work in the industry and realising that only merit matters and not your gender, she chooses to see herself as a victim and goes on a crusade to defend someone who is talentless, just because she’s a girl. Pretty sad.

  • Grampy_Bone

    How many games have girls make games been made by girls?

  • ExodusCore .

    There are more boys in tech, so we will give girls favorable treatment. Ignore that it is just as hard for boys to get into tech as it for girls. (not saying either sex should get handouts).

    Feminists are disgusting.

  • MarthaMyDearTX

    So they’re hiring Asian lesbians to teach little girls how to design games no one wants to play (*looks at stupid butterfly picture on screen*).

  • Kellen Joel

    Congrats, Ralph!