Nintendo Roasts Zoe Quinn in New Paper Mario: Color Splash!

Nintendo Roasts Zoe Quinn in New Paper Mario: Color Splash!

Some days are just better than others, what can I say? After making a career off being a phony game dev and media darling who lies about anyone and everyone in sight, Zoe Quinn is someone who I look forward to see fail. I laugh when I read whatever madcap nonsense is coming from her twitter feed. I can usually count on finding some whiny post about depression (which is a real issue with real people who suffer, but using it as a crutch is sick) or the ex-boyfriend she cucked repeatedly. But today, I saw that the oldest and most venerated video gaming company decided to take a huge shit all over her and everything she stand for.

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“It’s a Five Guys joke.”

zoecover1

That’s the perfect summation of Zoe Quinn herself. She’s a Five Guys joke. I’m glad that Nintendo decided to recognize this, although like others, I do fear that they will take this out of the final release after all the butthurt this is going to cause. But perhaps if we buy the game, Paper Mario: Color Splash in a show of solidarity, they will reconsider. If you do it on Amazon, you can always cancel before it ships if they end up taking it out. For me, it’s the thought that counts on this one even more than a possible retraction. Zoe is in a complete tailspin and it’s all thanks to Nintendo giving her a small kick.

Good job, guys.

Ethan Ralph

Founder, Owner, & Editor-in-Chief of TheRalphRetort.com. Political fiend, gamer, & anti-bullshit.

  • GuitarAnthony

    She’s a Five Guys joke

  • RuralScot

    Perfect, well played Nintendo.

  • Puffmax

    On the other hand I’m not putting it past her to fake the screenshots, then claim she won when it was never in the game to begin with…

  • Celerity

    Weren’t those screenshots posted a week ago? She just didn’t notice until now. I assumed this was Treehouse going full retard about #GamerGate but if it’s triggering her that bad we should buy. Unless the #SJWs actually got a little smart and are faking us out with outrage.

    Which means the best way of handling this is by saying you bought it when you didn’t.

    • DisneyVillain

      When are SJWs ever smart? The first rule to join their cult is to remove all common sense from your being.

      • Celerity

        Broken clocks rule.

  • Sawse Cake

    Guys you are punching her right in the feels! That is so rude!

  • Iso

    I had a right laugh when I saw this. I fear though if that Alison Rapp was still working for them, would this have seen the light of day? Poor little Quinn, just like these little jokes in Paper Mario, she herself is the biggest joke of them all.

  • Sockpuppet Nora

    Hahaha, that’s what you get. No respectable company should fuck with her.

    • Agrias Oaks

      No respectable person should fuck her.

      • Kellen Joel

        Dammit, I was gonna type that!

    • KLLRFRST

      I’m sure all her SJW pals are already organizing a boycott of Nintendo, which might actually last longer than the one for Alison Rapp that lasted 2 whole days. I’ll bet Nintendo is really going to feel that <1% drop in their profit margin.

      • The <1% drop will be more than made up by the new/previous fans they will gain because of their mocking of a well-known Internet SJW.

        Nintendo themselves have not exactly been innocent with all the retarded censorship of their games so they will want to garner some fans in.

    • Kellen Joel

      Haha, couldn’t have said it better myself.

  • Erthwjim

    same company that fired someone after GG targeted her

    no she was fired because she was a hooker.

    • Jacob Wunder

      Yeah, the media has just created an alternate reality with it’s coverage. Just conjured it up. One that fits the narratives it likes to push.

      And it’s a pretty absurd story they are pushing. One of the biggest video game companies does Gamergate’s bidding when it comes to who they hire and fire. Yeah, that’s right. Nothing to do with her moonlighting as a hooker or doing lingerie modeling with Nintendo products when her freaking job is doing PR for Nintendo and that job was very public. No, they fired her because she was getting trolled by Gamergate.

      So they fired her because Gamergate didn’t like her. That’s right, they took their cues from gamer gate, did gamer gate’s bidding, because that’s the kind of influence gamer gate has with game companies.

      They have no qualms about lying in order to tell the sort of story they want.

      • ToasterStrudel

        I feel ya brother I do but without any proof you’re mostly talking in such an affirmative tone, but completely out of your ass

        • Elegy Mills

          Somebody doesn’t understand the basic concept of

          SARCASM

          • ToasterStrudel

            If its not easy to understand, its poor sarcasm. Satire may be the word you’re looking for. That I could see myself missing from the post

          • James RePass

            It was pretty obviously sarcasm

          • It was sarcasm. If you can’t see that you are retarded.

    • Jeremysheer

      Exactly Nintendo had every right to get rid of Allison rapp why would someone be a escort while being the marketing face of Nintendo? You might as well sign up to be at Disney Channel star and make porn videos at the same time

    • Jay Murph Murphy

      A hooker who promoted pedophilia

  • MrSonicAdvance

    Nintendo really *is* showing its colours as a family-friendly company in mocking a toxic slut like Quinn. I’ll have to reward them with a pre-order.

  • Mykeru

    This is fantastic.

    • Agreed. Doesn’t matter if it actually was about Watergate, like some are claiming. In fact, that makes her spergout even funnier if true hahaha.

      • KLLRFRST

        Bingo. Regardless if it was a Watergate joke or a Gamergate joke (my money is on the former), seeing Chelsea sperg out like Rain Man missing People’s Court is soooo entertaining.

      • Mark Neil

        Just exposes her narcissism… making it all about her.

        • Danlantic

          She’s in hurt. :-{

          Please send her a Patreon donation.

          • KayGee

            Maybe that’s all Nintendo needs to do in order to keep their Watergate joke, make a tribute donation to the Patreon and all is forgiven.

      • I honestly hope it is a “Five Fungi” or Watergate/overuse of the “-gate” joke. I know the Japanese think the whole “gate” thing is hilarious.

        If Little Chelsea hadn’t gone mental, nobody would have noticed or cared. Now she’s giving Nintendo free press in a way that will increase sales.

        Because let’s be honest, gang: How many of us are going to buy a copy of the game and put it on the shelf with a printout of the thread, just so they can have the lulz all over again years from now?

      • KLLRFRST

        Update: Nintendo officially stated that it was a Watergate reference. Despite this, the White Knights at Kotaku are still insisting that it was a slur against Quinn, as if Nintendo gives a flying fuck about some rainbow haired crybaby.

        • Danlantic

          I find Nintemdo’s denial to be plausible.

          Plausible deniability.

  • DisneyVillain

    I hate preorders, but if Nintendo really did insult her with this one, they need my money RIGHT NOW!!!

  • axisfiver axisfiver

    “first wrapp then me!” the gotis……

  • Emil Åslund

    How big is Zoe’s ego, really?

    • Paul Johnson

      It’s the third most massive object in the solar system, between Jupiter and Saturn

    • As big as the mainstream media and news outlets allow. Without them, she’s toast.

  • Sergio Nacher Fernández

    Quinn still thinks that the world spins around her, I see.

    • Fantaman

      Or on top of her…

  • Silence Dogood

    Hah! Perfection. Nintendo knows where their REAL fan base (and profit margin) is. And I love how Quinn brought up that Pedo-defending Rapp whore (what? she really is a whore!). In Quinn’s fucked up world view it doesn’t matter how bad a person you are (like SRHButts), so long as you’re a “minority”.

    • DisneyVillain

      Isn’t that the world view of every SJW?

    • John Doe

      They do and don’t – they still insist on releasing an under-powered sysetm.

  • GuitarAnthony

    Maybe Zoe is too dumb to get the obvious pun?

    Five Fun Guys?

    Five Fungi’s?

    • KLLRFRST

      I’m betting she knows and is just too egotistical to let this opportunity to milk fake outrage for attention pass her by.

    • Seansong1

      no, it HAS to be about her! She’s too important!
      -_-
      the ego on this woman …

  • GuitarAnthony

    and oh noes Felecia Day, the self professed queen of duh nuhds is all apoplectic.

    Mayhap her squire Wee Wil will point yon finger & weep!

    • Mistertbones

      I wonder how Felicia feels about this picture I created of her.

    • Typical

      Fuck that ugly bitch. I can’t stand her. Queen of the nerds, my ass. More like Average woman too ugly to make it as a real actress cashing in on the lower standards of sweaty basement dwelling neckbeards.

  • Bendixen Jacob

    This is hillarious 🙂

  • Agrias Oaks

    Nintendo showing that shitty people should be mocked off the gaming industry.

  • KLLRFRST

    LOL. It’s pretty clear that it’s about the Watergate scandal, which involved 5 guys breaking and entering under Nixon’s orders. Also, “-gate” is a fairly common suffix to denote a scandal as well. Plus “Fun guys” = “fungi” – a lame joke that goes back to preschool.

    Quinn is either too stupid to know this, or she’s fully aware of the true intentions of the joke and is milking this for attention and to push the “Nintendo hates women!” narrative like Alison Rapp did. Can’t let Ali steal your thunder, right, Zoey?

    • Jacob Wunder

      That’s a bit of a stretch. Five guys is a pretty well known name for Zoe’s special friends in the video game industry.

    • Seansong1

      I expect she & her friends are going to throw a tantrum, the media posts some articles, & then Nintendo apologizes & changes the ‘offensive’ material.
      The Dailydot has already dropped an article.

      • KLLRFRST

        Kotaku is on the case as well, even though Nintendo has already stated that it’s about Watergate. I’m shocked that The Mary Sue hasn’t added their 2 cents about this yet. I guess they’re still crying and finishing off their gallon of Haagen-Daaz coffee ice cream before getting started on the article.

        • Seansong1

          I’m quite surprised as well

  • Zoe Quinn instigated the single most damaging attack on video games in the history of the medium. No other amount of bad press has ever come close to the sheer level of vitriol and hatred and distrust and misinformation than what she and her endless stream of journo fuckbuddies caused. Between her complete lack of talent, with her lies and constant abuse of others, mixed in with her journo friends lambasting gamers on every headline, and even managing to squirm and lie (and most likely bed) her way onto a friggin’ UN panel, there’s been no darker period than the last two years.

    Even Jack Thompson at least had a law degree and was eventually disbarred for his bullshit, Zoe is a talentless cunt.

    • Zoe Quinn and the other asswipe Anita Sarkeesian. These two will be known for sending the video games industry down the toilet.

  • Fantaman

    Nintendo is well aware that not only ignoring SJWs but poking fun at them boost sales every time. Ridicule the SJW, as they have no moral authority.

  • Jacob Wunder

    What gets me the most about SJW’s is that you could completely flip the script, and they would still be making ZQ out to be the victim.

    Only instead of being a victim of internet trolls, she’s be a brave strong woman for going public with her serial cheating, emotionally abusive boyfriend.

    Put them in each other’s shoes, and it’d still be poor Zoe, and gamer gate and her ex would still be the villains of the story. But that’s identity politics and social justice for you.

    • KLLRFRST

      To NeoGaf’s credit, some of the posters on there seem to be tired of Quinn’s drama antics and are pointing out that it’s a Watergate reference that has nothing to do with her.

  • Flowey

    You know I might just get this game just because of this 🙂

    • Arf x 3

      I’m tempted to do just that.

  • Arf x 3

    I bet that bitch is crushed. Good. Zoe, I know you’ll end up reading this. Your Crypto-Merchant heritage compels you to do so. Your kind can’t stand the thought of people saying things about you that are true, but less than flattering. Candace from Social Autopsy already bodied you, but Nintendo dug up your corpse and pissed all over it.

  • Jacob Wunder

    According to what I read on another site, the line about shuffle gate actually comes much later than the five fun guys sequence.

    That’s right. They might not even be connected, at all. She took two screen shots from separate parts of the game to give the impression that it had something to do with her.

    I know you’re all shocked to see a SJW, especially ZQ, misleading people in order to attract attention and gain sympathy but that’s what I read. After watching the video on YT, it looks like that’s the truth.

  • Robot Panda

    It’s a Watergate reference, mate. But it’ll be hilarious to see Treehouse come under fire by their own people.

  • RevDr. Robert Foster, AbC, EfG

    ROFLMAO

  • Jeremy Wayne Humble

    DAY 1 PURCHASE NOW! GG

  • People like this need to be mocked until they’re irrelevant and out of existence.

    She’s been an absolute stain on the video games industry, along with Anita Sarkeesian.

    • DisneyVillain

      Even Jack Thompson wasn’t as bad.

      • Jack Thompson wasn’t bad at all, and he was ineffectual in the end. Both him and Anita Sarkeesian push a cult-like ideology, but the biggest difference is as follows:

        In the 90s when Jack Thompson did his ‘video-games-are-violent’ thing, all of the big mainstream video games media and publications (they were magazines back then) sided with the gamers and defended the gamers. Jack didn’t really have a chance. Also, because he came in as some kind of religious crazy loon, people could dismiss him easily.

        With Anita Sarkeesian in the 2010s and Feminist Frequency, all of the big mainstream video games media and publications completely sided with her and defended her instead, and completely shat on the gamers. Also, because she came in as a woman and as a ‘victim’, people could not dismiss her at all because anyone who did would seen as “sexist” and “misogynist”.

        And that is why this SJW/feminist shit-show still continues to this day. Developers and companies are too afraid to criticise and say “no” to Anita because all she has to do is cry “sexism” and the mainstream media and games media will come rushing in to her rescue and hammer the dev/company who made the critique.

        And that is the biggest difference between the Jack Thompson and Anita Sarkeesian situations.

  • TT

    it’s funny, but i still have some withdrawals about Nintendo right now, considering the stuff they are doing with their other games. I mean, we had Fire Emblem, Fatal Frame, Xenoblade, and currently still Tokyo Mirage Sessions.

    • Seansong1

      the censorship has been pretty ridiculous

  • Clayton Weaver

    Zoe Quinn is the poster child for Narcissistic Personality Disorder. She thinks everything is about her and cares about no one. She is constantly jumping at any media outlet for her 15 minutes of fame (admiration). She even shows her lack of knowledge of history.

    “It’s a Watergate reference” career ruining?
    And after a “five fun guys” line? How fucking dense do you have to be…”

    History lesson: Watergate scandal was done by FIVE men [Virgillo Gonzalez, Bernard Barker, James McCord, Eugenio Martinez, and Frank Sturgis] and RUINED THE Presidential CAREER of Richard Nixon!

    So, tell me, cupcake, how dense are you?

    In the words of Undoomed, “Hey, fucking moron!”.

  • Battle Beagle

    Today Was a Good Day!

  • scemar

    yeah, no thanks Nintendo

    don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the nod but stick to translating the game instead, it’s the same thing I’ve always said and I am not suddenly going to change my stance because the target of the joke is someone I dislike

    I don’t want memes or inside jokes inserted into them, regardless of which side they stand with

    of course I’d love to see everyone mock zoey, her whole SJW professional victim kind and all feminism, but not like this

    mock them by disregarding them directly, mock them by not caring about their outrages

    mock them by no longer censoring games because they offended them

    those actions would actually matter more than this silly joke

    • GodBowser

      I hope they did not intend this to be a dig at her but I think some people might think that since some SJW hipster with anger management issues got triggered by it

    • David Flory

      The reference is too vague to considered a dig at Quinn or anyone else. It even repurposes the “Five Guys” to represent small-time scammers. By removing the sex issue Quinn is basically written out of the joke entirely.

      Quinn naturally assumes it’s all about her, when in fact it’s about ethics in Dance and Shuffle.

      • Seansong1

        the 5 fun guys thing is just a play on the word fungi
        Zoey is simply being too self-absorbed to notice

    • scemar

      If this is just a coincidence, then it’s all good

  • GodBowser

    This may be off topic but this reminds me of the time when nut job Briana Wu was being interviewed and she suddenly accused the person interviewing her of doing a hit piece on her

    I wonder what she’s up to these days

    • Erthwjim

      having trouble putting together a computer apparently

    • DisneyVillain

      Thinking of more ways to feel like a victim to rake in more victim bucks?

  • Lost Question

    guess nintendo knows where their cash comes from

  • B L O W E Y Z O E
    L
    O
    W
    E
    Y
    Z
    O
    E

    In all seriousness: those two captions aren’t together in the video. Someone’s running out of victim bux…

  • derpletonsmith

    Its a reference to watergate I think. There were five men arrested for breaking into the DNC HQ.

    Pretty sure Nintendo would not touch a reference to GG like this with a ten foot pole, I think she’s just a completely self absorbed moron and presumed it was about her.

  • ThePete

    The self importance and mental instability is strong with Zoe.

  • Bronx Shogun

    Seriously Zoe, the girl from the ME! ME! ME! Video wasn’t this self-centered.

  • disqus_izKB2mVZ9T

    Quinn shits on Nintendo as often as she can, and she loses her mind at the idea that maybe they are making a subtle joke in reply.

    Whatever the motivation behind the joke, Quinn’s inability to take a joke – or instantly assume its about her and throw a tantrum, brings to light the problem of humourless killjoys thinking they are the right people to judge entertainment.

  • Kirk Forsyth

    This makes me want to pre-order this game, and I don’t even own a Wii U

  • D-Bone

    HAHAHAHA!!! 110% of awesome, very nicely played.

  • JamesPiekko1

    you fat spaz, it’s watergate.

    • Cry like Zoe.

      • JamesPiekko1

        quit being such a cuck for edgelords and use your brain for something other than keeping your tiny head from becoming concave and educate yourself.
        There is more on the internet to look up other than lolicon. But yeah go continue to feed her victim complex by being the boogeyman for a few hundred views, I am sure that will accomplish alot ya roly poly failure.

  • Maintenance Renegade

    Considering they stood their ground on Rapp I seriously doubt they’ll take this out. I figured Movieblob would be having an aneurysm right now considering his fetishes for both Mario and this dumb cunt but he mostly just seems to want donuts. Diabetees intensifies.

    • Seansong1

      I should expected no less from Bob …

    • DisneyVillain

      I’ve only heard of Moviebob because of his support of Scamneesian. I can only say from what I’ve seen is that he’s a douchebag and I wouldn’t trust his reviews.

      • Maintenance Renegade

        You and alot of other people, I think he’s got more recognition at this point for being a fat, dishonest and stupid SJW who gave himself Type II diabetes than he is for anything else he’s done. Total lulzcow. I only look him up these days when I know something happened that will be triggering him.

        Check out that avatar too, guy can always be counted on to gravestand. Here’s one of his old ones from after the Paris attacks: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d761ea67b7721ce082369a5901097cea06605338659af50dd9ef38e27e6c9f8e.png

        • DisneyVillain

          I know how SJWs responded after the Paris attacks. Combining that with how SJWs drove that Stephen Universe fanartist into attempted suicide, I regard all SJWs as monsters that even fit to be called human beings.

      • actorvious

        I actually used to really like his reviews right up until his review of Man of Steel where he basically said it was good but flawed. Now that wasn’t a problem, I can agree with that, but then over the course of a year it slowly became the worst movie of all time and he still uses it today as an example of a bad movie while whacking off to Avengers and Avengers 2.
        Before that I would read his columns and he was the first published editorial I ever saw that came with a trigger warning and I had to google that and at the time all I found were a bunch of gun safety videos. He’s also one of those nerds who thinks that because he was bullied in school that the nerd community should never ever hold anyone to any standards because that makes us just as bad as the bullies.
        Which pisses me off to this day because it implies that if you love something less popular then when it does become popular you can’t criticise casual fans who’ve been interested in it for ten minutes for not appreciating what you love and wanting to change it to suit them when only a few months earlier your beloved hobby was a punchline for them.

  • Seansong1

    This reference appears to be more of a Watergate reference than a Gamergate one.
    Furthermore, Zoey seems to have missed the obvious pun: Fun Guys = fungis

    She’s freaking out over nothing. She & her supporters are going to throw a tantrum, the media will get involved, & I expect that Nintendo is going to issue some kind of statement/apology – vowing to change this ‘offensive’ dialogue & proclaim that nothing that could make anyone feel uncomfortable will be in their games.

    EDIT: It begins:

    http://www.dailydot.com/geek/nintendo-gamergate-reference-paper-mario/

  • Mr0303

    I honestly don’t think that Nintendo was referencing GG. As others pointed out this is most likely a reference to the Watergate scandal and a word play with fungi. Still fun to see Zoe sperg out.

  • Typical

    This is delicious. Fuck her. I love it! She’s realizing how powerless she is that not only do SJW histrionics NOT damage sales, but mocking them will increase them. I’m buying this game now.

  • DRouwnt

    So you did not get that this was actually a Watergate reference? The next slides within the game show that pretty clearly.
    Which was pointed out to her resulting in silence of course.

  • Beazy

    Nintendo is realizing that SJWs dont pay the bills. Those Japanese are good at math. The picture above proves it.

    • DisneyVillain

      Japan also removed social justice courses through most of the colleges and universities and told the feminist controlled U.N. to fuck off after they sought to censor Japanese entertainment.

  • SiliconNooB

    This is fucking beautiful. Thank you, Nintendo! ^_^

  • Jeremysheer

    You’re a freaking idiot. Do your research more clearly this was on Facebook’s trending Nintendo clarify the joke it’s a Watergate joke not a gamer gate Why wouldn’t tendo stoops so low to hurting someone in the game industry? Sounds legit redo your article because incredibly false

  • Kellen Joel

    Well, she was right about “gate” being popular. I even made a video detailing it.

    All in all, that’s awesome. I really hope that Nintendo doesn’t chicken out and pander to Quinn.

  • Reaper of Salt

    Seems that Nintendo has gained some slight value.

  • No one important

    I am sorry, i think I am a bit lost at this point. This article says that the Shufflegate joke in Paper Mario is Nintendo actually roasting Zoe Quinn with a joke? Or Nintendo roasting her is because they issued some kind clarification saying that this is a Watergate scandal reference and it has nothing to do with her?