Amy Schumer

This can’t be actually happening…can it?

Amy Schumer is in talks to play Barbie in a live-action movie for Sony based on the iconic Mattel line of dolls, TheWrap has learned.

The movie is the first-ever live-action adaptation of the popular toy. It will follow the title character as she gets kicked out of Barbieland for not being perfect enough and ends up in the real world. The PG-rated movie is expected to hit theaters in the summer of 2018.

Hillary Winston came up with the story and wrote the screenplay, but Schumer and her sister, Kim Caramele, are expected to rewrite. Walter F. Parkes and Laurie MacDonald headed the 2014 deal with Mattel to secure the intellectual property, and the two will produce the film along with Amy Pascal. The film does not yet have a director attached.

Ah, Amy Pascal. She’s the same idiot who backed the failed Ghostbusters reboot from earlier this year (She was also attached to the supposed GamerGate movie as well).

“I have waited for this moment for a year!” said [Ghostbusters] producer Amy Pascal. “It’s going to be endless. People are going to love this movie so much that they’re going to demand more and more.”

Just a little bit off with that prediction, Amy. I the dummy feels like losing even more money. Isn’t Barbie supposed to be, ya know, attractive? I could see Schumer playing a live-action version of Miss Piggy, but Barbie? This is utter madness. Oh well, I shall laugh heartily at their upcoming failure.

  1. What retard goes “Should we get Margot Robbie for this? Nah, Amy Schumer is who we need…”

    Oh, Amy Pascal, you say? Well that makes perfect sense then.

    1. probably they had a movie number of movies contract with schumer and are just going to burn the last movie that they need to use her on a tax write off rather than a money making film

  2. Also how many financial flops do Sony want to have? Did they learn nothing from Fake Ghostbusters? They can thank their lucky stars that the PlayStation division is keeping them afloat and they are even fucking that one up recently.

    1. Seriously. From what I’m hearing, the PS4 Pro actually seems like a downgrade from the regular PS4 (and it supposedly can’t even play Final Fantasy XV correctly). Sad to think that they released a whole other version of the PS4 in the middle of its lifespan, yet they couldn’t bother to make one that has the backwards compatibility (digital BC, at the very least) that a lot of people wanted.

      1. This mid generational console upgrades trend is one of the stupidest things they’ve done. It ensures that one version of the game will be unoptimised and removes one of the biggest advantages of consoles – uniform hardware.

        BC is great, but numbers show that it is not essential to the success of a console.

        1. Perhaps, but I still find it a shame. I mean, if you’re gonna put out a new version of console, seemingly sporting features that will affect actual gameplay and maybe even have some exclusives rather than simply being a slimmer, cheaper model, why not include the feature that a lot of people want but which supposedly can’t be implemented into the current model due to physical limitations?

          And yeah, it’s stupid. A lot of people put down the WiiU for entering the current generation early (and yes, to be fair, Nintendo has made a lot of stupid decisions with it, not the least of which being its barely existent pool of exclusives), but at least you could safely say that it IS a current gen console with SOME line-up of games that can only play on it. Not so much the case with Pro and Scorpio, which are clearly just the previous console with one or two new features (which don’t even work right).

          1. One version supporting BC and another that doesn’t would be pretty bad PR. I think they decided not to include it after the bump in price in the PS3.

            These mid generational upgrades can turn the console market into the mobile one with upgrades every couple of years which would be horrible. Nintendo makes many mistakes, but at least they are keeping the traditional console cycle. They do have the censorship and region locking issues though.

  3. I thought Amy Pascal was fired from Sony after those email leaks and if she’s going to be involved in this will she try to shoe horn any feminazi propaganda into it

    I wonder if Five Guys Zoe has gotten over her failed book deal yet

    1. No, just demoted and it happened before Feigbusters came out and flopped. She’d been losing the company money for a long time before that and the Sony email hack had revealed that she was an idiot and a lunatic.

  4. I know Pascal has been demoted and the guy who replaced her slashed the budget for Feigbusters and thereby saved the company twenty million dollars or so. For the sake of Sony Pictures I hope he has the foresight to just put the kibosh on this project entirely. For the sake of Mattel I hope that somebody over there sees the screen tests of Ms Piggy in her Barbie outfits and puts the kibosh on it to protect their Barbie brand.

    Right out of the gate this sounds like yet another gross miscalculation on Pascal’s part. Barbie’s fans are little girls, campy gay men who collect the dolls and grown women who liked playing with the dolls when they were little girls. Of those three groups the third is probably the only one who might like the concept of an irony drenched deconstruction that shits all over the property.

  5. With the blatant level of idiocy involved in this casting choice you have to wonder if they’re trying to deliberately provoke this reaction. Victimhood is a big market now.

  6. Holy fuck, they are literally debasing a toy line build around a fantasy perfect woman (ok, her real life proportions would be crippling and disturbing, but she makes for a fine doll) to shame the UNIVERSE that Barbie fucking CREATED as her being “not perfect enough” (how the fuck?). This is some rank “Happily Ever After” rip-off shit if I’ve ever seen it and is yet ANOTHER example of political correctness using Hollywood as a vector to disseminate propaganda. That worked REAL well with Ghostbusters 2016 didn’t it? And the best part of it all? The moral to this future bomb? “You don’t have to work to be good or better than you are; you’re perfect just the way you are!” … Even if you’re a fat, lazy, disgusting, talentless fucking hack.

    1. Technically, if she were a real woman, her measurements would be about 32C-25-35, or about the same as the average Playboy Bunny. In fact, if memory serves me correctly, Barbie’s creator based the doll on her own daughter.

  7. If you don’t immediately go “Oh, this is wonderful casting!” expect a GHOSTBUSTERS-style onslaught of abuse from the studio, cast and crew and a good portion of the blogerazzi.

    It must be KILLING Fingerbang Faraci to not be able to post his series of stinkpieces about how the entire world is sexist for thinking this idea is stupid.

  8. First thing I thought was, Amy P has got to be behind this soon to be latest Sony failure if Amy S is being eyed for lead. Seriously, who the fuck keeps giving the green light to these ass clowns? Who at Sony believes anyone of us wants to see the latest project by Amy and Amy or how I like to call them, Dumb and Dumber. Thank God we aren’t forced to watch it.

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