Last night, right before I fell asleep, someone sent me a link to “DJ Phil Fish.” I had no idea what this was, and assumed it was a joke. But, it was late, and I wasn’t doing shit, so I figured I would check it out. It turned out to be totally legitimate..and totally hilarious. But it was also a little sad, if I’m being honest. Fish is a guy who talked shit about gamers for years. “Suck my dick, choke on it…” that’s Phil Fish. The first time I ever heard of the bum, was because of some crazy shit he said.

Now, I’ll be the first to admit, I’ve gone on some Twitter tirades myself. But, that wasn’t Phil’s only problem. He’s also a staunch defender of the corrupt structures that threaten to destroy the video game industry. I wouldn’t care if he was just an asshole. That’s no great offense. But defending the crooks, and possibly taking part in the rigging of indie awards yourself? That cannot be tolerated.

(Hmmmm, need time to rig some awards, Phil?)

The only reason I haven’t written about him before, is because he has already been broken. Last night just confirmed that. Now he’s become the Double Fine court jester. They wheel out the stooge whenever they need a laugh. I’m sure it won’t just be Double Fine, either. His stooging ability is legendary, so he’ll get around.

Another person who is fast approaching legendary stooge status, is Kotaku’s Nathan Grayson. And, wouldn’t you know? He was also in attendance at this plush Double Fine blowout. They can’t afford to finish their fucking games, but they can damn sure throw a party? Did you pay for blow and strippers too, Tim Schafer? I have no doubt that your hypocrisy extends even further off-camera. If any participants would like to drop me a line about the festivities, contact me ([email protected]). I’d love to hear it.

I’m sure Stephen Totilo, and many other establishment figureheads, would no doubt say all this is fine. If this was the only thing we had, yea, it would be. Even though Phil Fish is a joke, the cozy relationship between all developers and the journalists who cover them isn’t. These journos are the ones who help decide winners and losers. As we’ve seen with Zoe Quinn, favorable press can make stars out of the completely undeserving. People like Nathan Grayson, Phil Fish, and Tim Schafer, conspire to allow it to happen.

Rats, roaches, and all other types of hypocritical vermin, hate the sunlight. Just like I usually say here in the close, we have to keep exposing them. They make it so easy, that it doesn’t really take much work. And the corruption they don’t just shove right out into your face, is starting to come out as well. People who would normally be sympathetic to these types, are now becoming turned off by their stunning arrogance. So, keep it up, Schafer. Drop that beat, Phil. Cruise for more indie ass, Grayson.

Because your time is almost up.



UPDATE: Wow, some of the shills on KotakuInAction are on red alert today. Thank you to all the cool people there, though!

  1. I am getting pretty livid at Tim Schafer’s rock star status in the games industry. We’ve seen it with John Romero, we’ve seen it with Phil Fish. It’s just going to keep happening until these people are brought to task and exposed, then the next big one shows up to piss on your goodwill.

    At least John Romero and Phil Fish were honest about it. Tim Schafer is a whiny little bitch who can’t manage his own business and he gets free praise for it because “WHOO INDIE DEV! SAIKONAWTS!”

    1. Funny you mention that as I just found my copy of Daikatana. I was going to reinstall to see just how completely underwhelming it was.

    2. Let’s be real. John Romero is a babe and worked on fucking DOOM. Inflated ego or not, he never debased himself via Twitter or had public tantrums. I’ve got no problem with bombastic types, even pompous people. It’s why I dig professional wrestling. But the key difference here is that Phil Fish overstates his competence, popularity and impact at every step of the way.

      Another way to look at it:
      Romero would be a blast to party with.
      Fish is just a fucking goof.

      His DJ mix isn’t bad, but watching a bunch of awkward fucks stare at their phones is just embarrassing. In another setting it wouldn’t be bad. It’d be very dancy if you had some (attractive, energetic) chicks around.

          1. He also was dating Stevie Case, one of the few well known female devs at the time. She also posed for Playboy after John bought her some implants.

        1. Yeah he did. Romero is a complete asshole no question, egomaniac but he’ll standby what happens win or lose on anything that happens. That type of asshole I can respect.

          He’ll also back down when shown exactly what’s wrong and why.

    3. I agree. But this isn’t gonna happen as long as the so called “cult of personality” still exists.

      Schaffer made a few good games before 2000, and he gets a free pass for whatever he does nowadays since he is clearly a “great game designer”. Maybe he used to be good at what he did, but recent events show that he is in reality incompetent, at least as far as finance management goes.

      I doubt you’ll ever see anyone criticising him openly in mainstream games media. Same goes for other “game gods”.

  2. Does it make me a bad person for actually enjoying FEZ? Does it make me a good person again for actually feeling like shit about enjoying it? Either way, thanks Ralph.

    1. Not gonna lie, I enjoyed Fez, and I take no issue with the fact that I or anyone else enjoyed Fez. Will I ever buy anything Phil Fish releases in the future? HELL no. Same goes for Double Fine after Broken Age (I’m still waiting on the other half of my game I Kickstarted, Schafer, get on that.)

      1. As evidenced by Monkey Island, Sam & Max, Day Of The Tentacle, Grim Fandango, Full Throttle, Psychonauts, etc, etc.

        I can’t tell you how disappointed I am in Tim Schafer. One of the real pioneers who built the world of PC gaming, and now he turns around and tries to destroy it, becoming a smug con artist who attacks his customers in the process.

    2. No, it doesn’t. I got it for free on my PS4, but it was right before GamerGate happened. Haven’t tried it yet, somewhat because of GG, but also because I just have a lot of other shit to play. Anyway, maybe I’ll stream it one day when I do decide to play it lol.

    3. I got it when it was free on PS+, and I liked it. However, it wasn’t this earth-shattering work of genius that Fishy thinks it is.

  3. The fact that he wore a shirt with his own picture on it is a pretty good indicator that he really has no shame at all. I am not current on the scandal with DoubleFine but I assume it involves them running out of money to complete a project that was crowd funded? If so they have some major balls putting this up for public perusal. I am sure Fish probably came rather cheap though.

    1. They stopped working on Spacebase DF-9 after the sales dried up, leaving it woefully incomplete. This was after using the money they made from the game on Steam Early Access to pay off investors.

      DF also raised over three million dollars on Kickstarter after asking for $300K to make Broken Age, then ran out of money and released half a game.

      1. It sounds to me like it is quite risky paying into a kickstarter for an already established studio. I have only done one so far for DoubleBear studios for Dead State. They have already delivered a working beta and they say it should be done by December.

  4. I think nobody with a bit of sanity left trusts doublefine and Tim schafer anymore. They’ve been blatantly incompetent about their job and looks like they are part of the sjw clique.

    1. Dude estimated that he would need about half a million to complete Broken Age. He ended up getting $3.5 million…and still ran over time and over budget, and begged for more money. Even worse, he only delivered the first half of game. Now we can see where some of that money went towards: paying Fish to be a glorified jukebox and to wine and dine his SJW bros in games “journalism”.

      There was another game he was working on (forgot the name) that he basically gave up on without getting past the beta stage. He basically said, “Fuck it, it’s your problem now, not mine” and walked away.

      Bobby Kotick was right – Schafer can’t get shit done without someone over him pushing Tim to stop sitting on his thumbs. Schafer also went over budget and over schedule when making Brutal Legend, and Kotick called his ass out on it.

      1. The sad thing is that I actually LIKED Broken Age (even though I guessed the big twist about a quarter to half way through the game), and I was really psyched for Part II to come out. But after waiting so long and not even hearing about any progress being made on the second half, the hype’s died down, and now I don’t really give a shit if it comes out or not anymore. Worse, since I hadn’t played any previous Double Fine games (I know, I know, my loss), that game was basically my first impression on the man as a game developer. And now I’ll forever associate Schafer not with anything good he did, but as being a lazy, unprofessional dev who can’t finish what he starts and wastes everyone’s money while thinking he’s the best thing to happen to indie gaming (if making games on a multimillion dollar budget and a major studio backing him even counts as indie anymore). Considering his recent track record though, that may be a blessing in disguise.

        1. Yeah, I have no idea how someone with a crew of 2 dozen people and a budget of several million dollars can still be called an “indie” developer.

      2. Spacebase DF.
        Schafer basically pulled a Bethesda.
        “Fuck it, the fans can finish it, here’s what we have so far, build it yourself.”
        Shot from 0.6 to 1.0, and deleted the coming features & backer reward pages

        1. I wonder if his backers can file a class action lawsuit against him for reneging on the backer rewards and not delivering a finished product?

        2. The difference is that while Bethesda games are buggy as hell and likely only fans fix all the glitches, at least the content is still there.

          Spacebase DF literally they released in an incomplete state and said “yea lets have users create the content so we don’t have to.”

          Basically, everything that could go wrong about Early Access happened.

          1. I’d also like to add that Bethesda also releases an extremely competent set of tools to allow their users to fix their glitches. As well as add user made content.

      3. The dude has pretty much become the Tim Burton of the videogame industry. This is what happens when you surround yourself with Yes Men. He made some good games a long time ago and people were praising him like he was Jesus. Now he has total control over his work and it’s no wonder he can’t run a business. He’s a pampered pup trying to run with the wolf pack.

      4. I could see that if they raised the standards a lot because of the 3.3 million but for gods sake it’s a fucking P&C adventure, it’s an incredibly easy game to develop.

      5. I don’t think there has been a game he’s worked on since grim fandango that hasn’t seen some type of money related controversy. Even psychonaughts was dropped by Microsoft because of budget issues

    2. I sure ain’t buying a double fine game ever again; mostly because gg but also cause I’m pissed they never kept their promise with Space Base DF-9

  5. It has been proven that Schafer has financial interests and involvement in the whole Indiecade debacle. Plus this:

    Say what you will about EA and Bobby Kotick, but they are successful businesses and saw through the money burner that was Schafer. He is irresponsible and has no fair judgement of the costs behind a project (hiring Jack Black and Elijah Wood for Broken Age I mean come on!). It is his responsibility to his team – both artists and programmers – and to the fans to complete the game. What did they get? Half a game with some “funny” pictures of him with dollar bills on the shitter. He even had the nerve to create a second Kickstarter before the first part of Unfinished Age is completed.

    And this man will judge us about morality? If he is as diligent with his research about Gamer Gate as he’s with his work we can just label him as ignorant. The above however shows that he is in that clique and that he feels untouchable due to his legacy and Kickstarter success. Well, Tim, hope the shit you’re currently concocting is not too smelly for you or any of your phishy friends to regret.

    1. At this point, it seems like Tim is content to coast on his past victories, and keep going back to the KickStarter well whenever he blows out his budget.

    2. “Say what you will about EA and Bobby Kotick, but they are successful businesses”

      You mean EA, voted wore company in the US two years running, and Kotick of Activision who by all counts has no respect for his customers? Will purposely run IP into the ground with yearly releases?

      Both companies are “successful” because they prioritized profits and shareholders over the quality of their products, which consumers sadly bought regardless of repeated complaints. Are as much if not more responsible for GG because of what they’ve been doing for years.

      1. You said it yourself. This is a problem with the consumers. It is not Activision’s fault that there is a market for the same Murica patriotic wank that is COD every year. They simply provide the product.

        And I’m not saying that they should be held as a standard for a good publisher. I’m saying that they saw Schafer as the irresponsible person that he is. I mentioned Kotick mainly because of this:

        Even EA aren’t stupid enough to wage war on their paying customers. I haven’t seen them replacing FIFA with the women football league because patriarchy. We need to deal with the SJW problem before it is too late. Guess who EA hired as an adviser for Mirrors Edge 2? Non other than the winner of the GDC Ambassador award Anita Sarkeesian.

        1. Still, GG needed to happen over something like the ME3 ending or the nth badly coded COD or Battlefield, rather than the blatantly outright insulting actions of the indie gaming media committed over Quinn.

  6. Hahaha they are so progressive that there is not a single woman. Seems like bunch of misogynerds to me!!! lol

    1. Lifschitz is palsies with these fucking clowns. No wonder they are so cancerous.
      Anyone seen the sanctimonious horseshit he had to say about GTA V? If any rational people were in attendance he’d have been pelted with tomatoes and eggs.

      1. There is no need to pelt people like him with anything. That just vindicates his victim complex. Just leave him parrot his hate, let him go into a room of people he admits to bribing and engage in sanctimonious back patting.

        It’s easy enough deal with people like Lifschitz. They trip themselves up with their own stupidity eventually.

    2. Every time I see these photos I keep thinking that this Ouren guy looks like the only normal-looking person in them.

      Everyone else looks like varying degrees of freakshow.

  7. Maybe the article should called, “This is what happens when you’re a loud mouthed asshole and a one trick pony that throws hissy-fits online: you end up looking like Skrillex at 50.”

  8. You need to live with the fact that not everyone agrees with the way you express things or how you blow them out of proportion sometimes.

    So of course disagreements are gonna happen. But that doesn’t mean everyone is a shill from shill-landia. Sometimes people do disagree.

    1. Eh, I call ’em how I see ’em. People want to trash me anonymously on Reddit? That’s perfectly alright. But, I will respond. Also, I want to take pains to again point out that there are also some great people on KiA.

      1. Thanks for replying.

        I don’t always agree with you or your methods and I am perfectly content with telling you that, BECAUSE I want to believe you are a receptive person, and not someone cynical or evil.

  9. Thanks for bringing this up Ralph, I needed a good laugh today. As someone who likes following links though, I’m compelled to point out that the ‘Kotaku in Action’ link in your update is broken (it just goes to a ‘Page Not Found’ message). I assume that this wasn’t your intention.

  10. Wow did Schafer really throw a fucking party with the money he stole? he’d fit right in at a hedge fund or wall st. firm.

  11. Really contemplating the arguement that almost all hipsters are nothing more than liberal know it alls who have nothing better to do than to feed off of Scott Pilgrim.

  12. What exactly is Double Fine celebrating here? Didn’t they lose all their 3.5 mil budget and only released HALF a game, and didn’t they recently shut down a game and disregard their pledge goal promises?

    Fuck yeah, lets book DJ Phil Fish and party for our incompetence.

  13. So, like many of Ralph’s stories, this one makes some assumptions that could potentially result in factual errors. It’s implied that this is “DoubleFine’s” event, but it actually was sponsored by a variety of companies – I could find no evidence that DoubleFine or Tim Schaefer himself contributed to it. The sponsors are at the bottom of this page :

    That being said, Tim Schaefer is an enormous douche bag, Phil Fish is a rodent molester and they both make terrible games.

  14. I think it’s been common knowledge that KotakuInAction is pretty well compromised by Gawker’s paid posters by now.

    I mean, it should have been obvious when that guy’s Soundcloud interview on the inner workings of the admin crew leaked. “You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours. Suppress this story and I’ll keep an eye out for you.” I remember that a lot of subreddits ended up having its crew herded into that one, for ‘consolidation’ purposes, that everyone might hang together in a big way, as if that was the goal of the subreddits that came before.

    They make it so that everyone that isn’t playing along is in the same boat, a little cordoned area with “Gathering Of Loons” crudely painted on the side. Nice, neat, and orderly.

    Getting organized in a singular location is never a good idea.

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