OK, I guess that headline is slightly inaccurate. It’s only trending number one here in the United States, but since Ted Cruz is running for president here and not worldwide, I would say the US is his more immediate concern. Someone on Twitter just asked me what it was about. So, I figured why not come here and talk about it myself, while explaining it for those who don’t already know what it is.

Oh, wait. Never mind that. It was also trending number one worldwide for a long time as well. So much for it only being the talk of America! 



Basically, it’s very simple. The National Enquirer is one of the biggest supermarket tabloids here in the US. They busted John Edwards, Rush Limbaugh, and a whole host of other people in the political world. They are notorious, though, so many Cruz supporters will dismiss this report out of hand. And hey, it could be wrong. But if it’s right, this will devastate his campaign.

Here’s the picture that’s been making the rounds on Twitter…


As the Enquirer points out, the reason this would destroy his campaign isn’t because of the affairs alone. It’s because of the way he has portrayed himself to the public. The guy has wrapped himself in Jesus and the Bible at every turn. Glenn Beck is basically acting like he’s the Second Coming of Christ. Trump has had well-publicized extramarital in the past himself, but he doesn’t have the same image. Also, there’s no reason to believe he’s still partaking in such behavior. If this turns out to be true and even one of the five women come forward, then ted Cruz might be done as far as his presidential aspirations go.

A supporter of his came at me on Twitter to ask how I could believe this, why are you slandering Ted, etc. Well, I’m not saying I do believe it. What I am saying, though, is that the National Enquirer has a track record for being right on these sorts of things. I’m also saying, as I just reiterated, that if they are right again, then Ted Cruz is over. His campaign now has two choices. They can either respond to this officially, thus blowing it up even further. Or they can ignore it and hope that the mainstream press refuses to cover it. I wouldn’t bank on them completely ignoring it, although a large portion of old school outlets most likely will. How the Cruz campaign responds today will go a long way towards deciding how this plays out.

Of course the danger for Cruz is, if there’s a smoking gun and he denies it, things will get even worse for him. If he does end up responding, look for his campaign to try to put this off on Trump somehow. I’m not sure how they will do that, exactly, but that’s the most likely play. They’ll probably point to Trump’s tweets from earlier in the week, saying he encouraged this sort of scandalous reporting by going after Heidi Cruz, Ted’s wife. He’s running for the Republican nomination, though. This is the same crowd who went after Bill Clinton for his affairs, so if more evidence comes out on Cruz, I don’t expect that strategy will fly.

All-in-all, this election campaign just got even more exciting. What in the hell is going to happen next?


Cover courtesy of @CthulhusGames


UPDATE: Just as I predicted, Cruz has placed all the blame on the Trump campaign. I didn’t know for sure that he would respond, but I know that if he did, that’s the play he would make. I guess the scandal was getting too much traction to ignore. I still don’t think this was the right play, though. It seems like he just made the whole thing even bigger. The national media will swoop in now for sure. Plus, if there are any smoking guns…he’s screwed.

I want to be crystal clear: these attacks are garbage. For Donald J. Trump to enlist his friends at the National…

Posted by Ted Cruz on Friday, March 25, 2016

Trump’s campaign spokeswoman Katrina Pierson, one of the people Cruz is alleged to have had an affair with, rejected the story…at least as far as her role in it. She didn’t rule out the rest being true.

UPDATE II: Trump just put out an EPIC response lol. I don’t think I’ve ever read anything quite like this, actually…


  1. Don’t forget, Ralph. Allum said he got scooped. That means they took his scoop, Ralph. The one Ben Shapiro stopped him from printing even though it went through legal successfully.
    Also Allum angry right now, guaranteed.

      1. NPR mentioned Fields but didn’t elaborate about the HOAX she was involved it. They just took the opportunity to repeat the talking points about Lewanbowski and demand that Trump should “apologize” (lolwut?). Shapire/Fields no longer being at Breitbart is definitely healthier for the org. Sensationalist and very Conservative they might be, but they certainly weren’t doing well being hampered by closet SJWs.

  2. Here’s the thing: The whole world knows HIllary is all too comfortable lying to anybody about anything.

    A lot of folks seem happy with the idea of gentle Bernie Sanders getting the job, I’m sure Hillary would find a way to get rid of him one way or another.

    Sure, Trump would need more than a little primer on how certain aspects of this one particular business are run. But, if Obama showed us one thing, it’s that anyone can get this job these days. And I don’t think President Trump would be caught dancing Tango and having a swell time while our friends neighbours get bombed to bits.

  3. Many sources confirmed, also the hooker confirms the “Lolipop” thing.

    Meaning the long circulated rumors of Cruz “popping” a “loli hooker” are all but certain now.

  4. imho: if Katrina Pierson is actually involved (kinda doubt it, but let’s assume she is) then Trump knew he could end Cruz any time.
    so it makes sense he went hard after all others and got the establishment to back one “last hope” candidate that he now owned.
    it’s fucking genius.
    Trump played them all. — and got them to spend tens of millions to boost a candidate, Cruz, that is done now.

    I hope Katrina is ok, though. She’s awfully high agency & IQ for a mulatto. she deserves to thrive. especially because of her race-realism & 911 conspiracy tweets.
    she’s #altright as fuck.

    1. Exactly my thoughts, minus the doubt. I think the fact that he hired Katrina means it was planned from the get go, might also be why Cruz initially refused to attack Trump, but he got comfortable after a while.

      Keep in mind, Trump was a DC Donor, he KNOW a LOT of secrets from a LOT of politicians, might be why Clinton is afraid of him.

      1. You can’t blame her for denying it, but she’s lying, many sources close to politics have CONFIRMED it.

      1. I actually got to eat sushi with Gabe in Kirkland once when interviewing for a job. I thought “this is not a man that looks like he eats only sushi.”

        I got a rice bowl and Gabe frowned when I asked for a fork or spoon. 🙂

  5. I can’t wait to see that rabid anti-Trump guy come in here and tell me more how politico (lol) demonstrates Trump’s followers/appeal is “muh religious values” when, as you put it Ralph, “Cruz wraps himself in the cross and bible at every turn.” The man is a religious maniac.

      1. Xephon has some kind of weird boner that vacillates like a magical space-time vibrator between Cruz and Hillary. His autism is truly something to behold if you’ve caught wind of him harping on my comments.

    1. Yeah serious where’s that guy at? He needs to come educate us Trump tards about how this is secretly our fault or something.

      1. His name is Xephon and I’m fairly certain he is some kind of autistic who has unmoderated internet access.

        1. Yeah I could never quite figure out what that guy’s damage was exactly, locked horns a few times and he seemed to fuck off after his bait stopped getting taken.

          Anyway I’ll be interested to see how this Cruz shit proceeds. The bible thumpers always turn out to be hypocritical preverts living twisted double lives of sick preversions, it’s like an immutable law of the fucking universe. Obviously the media at large will dance around it as long as possible but if it’s true they’ll be forced to cover it in detail within a few days even if they have to be dragged kicking and screaming.

      1. They’re all hypocrites, that’s for certain, but if they weren’t a megalomaniac then how would we know if they were sincere or not? hahaha

        1. True, in fact all humans are. Trump is just higher than most people or even politicians. as megalomania, it could easily be an ego thing as well, most who run for president, most powerful office in the country and arguably the world, we are a superpower and have the biggest military, likely has one or the other.

  6. Don’t care that Ted is a cheater. I DO care that he’s a lying hypocrite. Wraps himself in God and the Bible while he’s thumping away on hookers. He can’t leave the stage soon enough for me.

  7. This is gonna get ugly.

    My first instinct is to say ‘Oh, come on!’ The problem is that (a) politics attracts hypocrites like Patreon attracts SJWs, and (b) the Enquirer has nailed several political scalps up before (I admit to taking vicious glee in seeing them smoke John Edwards. I really loathed that guy).

    Sigh. If it’s true, Cruz should pretty much walk the fuck out. I genuinely hope it’s not true, if only for the sake of his marriage, but… damn, this could pretty much cement Trump as the nominee.

  8. The thing that really comes to mind for me right now is that multiple groups, over the past few months, have all made statements to the effect of having a REALLY nasty reveal in store against Ted Cruz. Allum Bakari, several high profile Rubio PAC members (who are, even now, deleting old mentions of what they referred to as “The Thing” that their PAC organizers and media were too cowardly to reveal) and Anonymous, who for the last 10 days has been conducting an Op against Cruz and made, in wake of that Op, bold claims about hidden sexual misconduct.

    Yeah. No. This is legit. Too many people at too many points have all alluded to a scandal like this being just beneath the surface.

    1. How about “Ted” actually being named Rafael Edward Cruz? If a politician with the charisma of a broken umbrella goes for an abbreviation of his convenient white-ass middle name, alarm bells should be ringing.

      He might not be a full-time member of the Hillary lizard people club, but he’s a sniveling git, and I don’t think that makes for a great president.

      1. I don’t know much about any of that. I’ve heard the accusations, but dismissed them out of hand because I neither care for people’s names nor buy into any of this new frenzy about birthplace stuff. It’s pretty easy to find out if someone was born a citizen of the US, as there’s a lot of very specific, very tightly controlled paperwork that does into it. A smoking gun would be readily and easily produced.

        That said, I agree with the rest of your assessment of him. He’s a sniveling git, a coward, and an all too typical member of the religious right: Completely amoral and pretending to be possessed of virtues he lacks. He’s no leader.

  9. As much as I despise Ted Cruz, religious moron he is, I have to say, Enquirer is hardly a reliable source. Now his response is definitely interesting, still I’ll wait and see on this one for something better to pop up. Though hope Bernie comes up to bat for the Dems. and become the president.

    1. Don’t worry.

      In a comment I wanted to write about Ted Cruz, I ended up forgetting Ted Cruz entirely. It happens.

      The one thing to fear if Bernie gets the job is that Hillary will still manage to steal it off his dead body.

        1. Trust me, she’s scheming as we talk, as it’s her MO of choice.

          Go have a look at her emails over on Wikileaks. I don’t have much love for Mr. Assange, but the Hillary emails alone make the project important.

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