DISCLAIMER 1: What follows is a mixture of facts, speculation & satire therefore the adverb “allegedly” prefaces and applies to the whole article.

DISCLAIMER 2: I am a proud Neo-Troll & I DO NOT represent #GamerGate. Truth with zero protocol will be used; get offended. Feel free to disregard everything I say based on my Troll status. For those who stayed, behold;

(EDITOR’S NOTE: Feel free to checkout Jack’s site)

Maddy Myers VS Mercedes Carrera Part 1 of 2




Look at what radfem Maddy Myers is blatantly implying about male fans of the Dead or Alive game series. Let me get this straight, according to Ms Myers male gamers with plenty of access to online porn do not know what “good boobs” are like? Does Ms Myers have a degree in anatomy? Is she a licensed plastic surgeon? Does she say that because she herself has better boobs than those found in the game? Because better boobs than those in DOAX3 means she might have boobs better than those in all porn globally. If Maddy Myers has the best boobs on planet earth, maybe she has a point, let’s see what she said after the tweet above (honestly I was also expecting her to provide photographic evidence, but life is unfair).



Mhhhh…interesting how Maddy Myers jumped from men allegedly not knowing their own sexual preferences to male gamers being depressed due to their preference for female breasts. So according to Maddy’s jump in logic, looking at boobs results in depression therefore looking at porn results in chronic depression? If so, is more than half of internet “depressed”? Oh the horror, we are gonna run out of prozac in the first hour with so many filthy porn watchers.  But no, Maddy makes no sense, she must be joking or trolling, let’s see what she said after,



Oh, so she was serious? So the internet is a place for lonely depressed people? Well that is quite a disservice to herself. Did she forget she is also person on the internet and on Twitter? Therefore, according to her own words, by virtue of being online she must also be “depressed and lonely“?

Oh wait, I see what Maddy is talking about, there are people who accuse other people of their own flaws without even realizing, psychology calls that behavior “projection“. It appears Maddy Myers is trolling or she is giving herself plenty of rope, this is getting interesting, let’s see what she said after…



Ok Maddy, make up your mind, either the internet is full of lonely depressed males or is a place for friends? Which one of the two? Also, how did Maddy jump from talking about depressed males fans from to those men yelling at her? She was not at all part of the DOAX3 story; and how exactly did she manage to make depressed men yell? Did she mean bipolar when she said men in her head yell this at her?


Oh wait, she used no caps so that was not even yelling, my bad, depressed people are kinda silent and mellow. However the point is that she is starting to sound very familiar to a group of online women with ideas and behaviors very similar to hers, let’s see what kind of jewels she says next…



WHAAAAAAAAT?! First she was talking about male fans of the DOAX3 video game characters now she is talking about her not being seen as human by male gamers. How did Maddy Myers mix herself with video game characters? I get her handle is @samusclone but has she lost track of the division between video game fantasy and reality? Is Maddy Myers a schizophrenic patient with access to a smart phone? Does she really believe she a game character?

Oh! now I get it! I have seen this dysfunctional female behavior before, behold:

Eliza chavez I am a videogame character

Of course I do not want Ms Chavez to say I misquoted her, so here is the video, just skip to 2:40 if you really want to see her angry feminist tantrum against reality;


So, when I finally saw how Ms Maddy Myers implied she related so much to female  videogame characters, I immediately remembered Ms Chavez charming toxic poetry which happens to express the same delusional sentiment,

“I am a game character” 

Perhaps poetry gives great artistic license for feminists to fashionably wear their mental illnesses on stage? Elisa Chaves saying that she “is” a game character is quite a stretch. The kind of stretch that partially mirrors the delusions of members of PETA who believe they are “animals“. However, in the case of radfems, it appears that first, they realize how unattractive they are, then they “inhabit” the avatar of an imaginary character, (which is far more attractive and relevant than they will ever be then in their cracked, covered in glue lives) then, when said character is used and manipulated as intended inside the game, the radfem “feels” she is being “abused” by the proxy of said character.

It truly is fascinating how the cluster of untreated PTSD, the mirror neurons and a radical religion such as feminism can do. And how this cluster affects the already warped perception of reality these untreated borderline personality disorder patients experience. Even worse, these untreated patients express their delusions without hesitation, just like delusional religious people who hear voices in their heads.

At least, religious schizophrenics are ashamed to say god “speaks” to them but these women? They have zero shame when expressing they “feel” what the video game characters “experience” in their delusions.  Just imagine if Call of Duty gamers “felt” what their character “feels” during each headshot, no amount Tylenol would fix that kind of phantom migraine. Or just imagine if you “felt” what Mario “feels” in Mario Kart every time he  spins-out with a banana peel imagine the  layers of dry puke over the controllers.

No, these radfems are delusional; their broken sexuality has nothing to do imaginary video game characters. Their past sexual abuse broke and defined their lives. But being so broken does not mean they have any right to impose their mental illnesses upon gamers or anybody else. These radfems are sexual broken goods (and material for a different article entirely).

But since Maddy Myers is the one that started talking about her expertise in boobs, I assumed she was either lesbian or had glorious generous boobs or both, so I went to her profile page to see what she looked like in person (plus there was still a chance I was mistaken and she was trolling or even trying to pull a Sarkeesian to fish for threats, then maybe her own kickstarter? So many questions, besides, I also wanted to read her timeline.) Well, when I got to reading her timeline, I was surprised for all the wrong reasons.



I really expected Maddy to be a fitness model or a toned crossfit athlete with celestial boob implants but this is what she looks like, (to avoid confusions she is the one on the left)

cover perhaps

Granted, plenty of radfems are aesthetically challenged but in her case was like looking at Ren’s long lost younger anorexic sister from the Ren & Stimpy show. I was disappointed but I kept digging through her public Twitter media to see how she ranked boob wise, as I clearly remembered she had clearly claimed men did not know what good boobs looked like.

So I did find what her boobs look like, but in the interest of equality and to make sure we establish how below or above average Maddy Myers is aesthetically, I decided to compare her boobs to the boobs from characters in DOAEX3. This is the result of my trolly scientific research:


Obviously, the logical complaint would be,

“Yeah Venus is sexier but Maddy is real!”

Nah, that is all bullshit because when compared with DOAX3 characters, Maddy’s sexual reality is too much of a nightmare. So, no thank you, not interested in post-coital suicide caused by exposure to Maddy’s strain of Bostonian cuntamination.

cover perhaps 2

Comparing Maddy to Venus from DOAx3 was like comparing Mini Mario Bros to two giant and invincible titanium Bullet Bills; it was a boob bloodbath,



So again, in the interest of fairness, I decided to compare Maddy to a real woman, one that retained many of the features universally attractive women naturally have and were most likely used to design the DOAX3 characters. Here is Maddy compared to Pro #GamerGate engineer & pornstar Mercedes Carrera; it was once again, another boob bloodbath & unlike Venus, Mercedes had no pity on Maddy’s tiny sad and incipient mammal appendages.

Look at the utter sadness attached to Maddy’s chest, her failed attempt at breasts look like two aborted and mummified cat embryos stuck with duct tape to Maddy’s failure of a female chest. See? She was projecting. It was not the boobs on DOAX3 that cause depression in male gamers, it is Maddy Myers tiny and sad mummified radfem boobs that cause it.

Oh but it gets worse, just imagine the horror of Maddy Myers sad deflated mummified boobs without her possibly padded tank top. Granted, Maddy’s body is an unmitigated fertile disaster, but what if I am mistaken with my assessment about Maddy Myers’ personality? What if she has a nice side after all? Then I made the mistake of looking into her Twitter radfem media again…


There are things even troll eyes cannot forget, for everything else, there is bangbros.com. Now, just to provide some much-needed eye-bleach, look at Mercedes majestic bosom, look at the their perky firm shape in complete freedom without any help from a bra. Look at the combination of her face, her lush hair, her supple skin, her dark and thick eyelashes and overall, you can trace many of the features that were used to design the DOA female characters. And yes, I am 100% sure Mercedes’ boobs are at least as bouncy; online science has provided plenty of video evidence to attest to the veracity of  that porny claim.

Obviously as radfems are never satisfied, (mostly because they are intellectually anorgasmic) the logical complaint about the boob comparison above would be,

“Yeah Mercedes is sexier than Maddy but Mercedes’ boobs are fake!”

Which is true, Mercedes originally had smaller natural boobs, but even before her breast augmentation, she had all of the other features she was born with; her supple skin, her fleshy lips, her lush generous thick hair and her whole body. These would have given her victory over Maddy Myers sad & depressing granny-like-boobs, because Maddy Myers was genetically born a failure of human fertility and a failure to female attractiveness as a whole.

There are just too many flawed features in Maddy Myers appearance that,  cannot be fixed, no matter how much money is wasted on cosmetic surgery, Maddy Myers could never compete against women like Mercedes Carrera, who were genetically born as a success of female attractiveness.

Because Radfem pigs cannot fly with the Porn eagles.

But this begs the question, why women that look and behave like Mercedes Carrera, have success in the porn industry, but why women like Maddy Myers don’t even qualify as pro bono interim fluffers? Why straight men, lesbian and bisexual women find female porn stars so attractive worldwide?

Well, first of all, porn truly is one of the most successful products available worldwide. It is the universal filthy language; porn has always been the blood of the throbbing core of technological advancement and the thrust behind the implacable penetration of DSL technologies into otherwise virginal copper lands. Porn is the Viagra of technology and the closeted happy ending to all scientific endeavors in all cultures. Be it VHS over Betamax, BluRay over HD-DVD or X-Videos.com over Vivid DVDs, porn always wins and it shall pave the way to nonconsensually inseminate all unsuspecting markets. For all the other technologies to ungratefully flourish without ever acknowledging who deflowered the virginal copper jungles first. But that is OK…because porn is the filthy hero we need, it is the one we deserve.

Porn, in and of itself, is a fascinating case study of how similar we all are despite our numerous cultural differences, languages and superficial morals; because the vast majority of healthy human beings react positively to aesthetically pleasing women. First we look more closely, then either get a hard on or get all goopy but the indisputable biological fact remains: most of us want to fuck.

But again, what are those features that make female pornstars so appealing across all continents? Is there a recipe to universal porn-grade female beauty?


This about biology and what human beings react to worldwide, despite the fact that female humans may modify their bodies, attach disks to their lips or elongate their necks in some cultures, what is a constant is how both straight men and women react when seeing a universally beautiful 10 woman (UB10 for short); men get distracted and have erections because of her, women on the other hand, will either admire the UB10’s beauty or outright envy it and semi-privately call her,


Granted, lesbians and bisexual women reactions can be a mix of both. However, obese women are not universally beautiful because women who look like a blob of lard, generally look unhealthy and unfit  for reproduction, thus, the famous phrase,

“you are beautiful no matter what they say”

The phrase is not even a benevolent euphemism, it is a white lie for ugly people, but more specifically, it is a blatant lie to prevent psychologically fragile fat women from getting even more depressed while they are busy murdering their 4th box of afternoon Twinkies. (Sort of makes sense, how could a fat, partial adult have the discipline to handle their biological truth when they do not even have the discipline to stop stuffing their “triggered” porker faces?) The reality is that women who are born ugly will die ugly because surgery does not change their genetic material and feminist “beauty” is a blatant lie.

In a nutshell, UB10 women are measured by the positive reactions they get from men because they are a universal pleasure to behold anywhere they go, in all continents, all cultures UB10’s stand a chance to stop traffic or cause accidents when men get distracted by them and that? That is undeniable passive sexual power. UB10 women stop the traffic because they are breathtaking, lardy fat women stop the traffic because they just had a heart attack.

Make no mistake, UB10 women are given automatic preferential treatment by virtue of their looks simply because a UB10 woman won the ovarian lottery the moment she was born with her natural breathtaking natural beauty which is precisely that: universal.

The inconvenient truth is that the whole beauty industry is built upon on the lie of giving genetically born ugly women tools to fake & mimic the appearance of UB10 women.

Be it hair dye, make-up or surgery, ugly women are terribly and painfully, aware of what they lack, hence the billions of dollars spent every year on the pursuit of artificial UB10 looks. But why the obsession? Why do so many ugly women risk their health and invest so much into looking like an imitation of  a UB10?

Simple, natural UB10 beauty has always been rare and highly coveted, possibly even more than any amount of gold and even before the paleolithic. But why is UB10 beauty so coveted? Because beauty is a statement of fertility and naturally beautiful women usually yield beautifully healthy children from time immemorial. No amount of gold by itself can beget beautiful healthy children.

In essence, UB10 beauty is the most glorified decoy to incentivize reproduction, yes Biology does not give a fuck about feelings, what counts is children to replace the people who die. No children? No future.

Here is where feminists hate biology so intensely they experience deep daily rectal discomfort or radically clench in so much anger they even give themselves free homemade anal fissures. Why do they get so upset with objective biological reality? Because they belong to the majority of godawful-boil-in-the-ass-ugly women who will never be as naturally beautiful as UB10’s. This does not stop feminists from lying to themselves and claim that being ugly means being beautiful AKA,

“you are beautiful no matter what they say”

No, that is a lie for ugly people. A godawful-boil-in-the-ass-ugly feminist is NOT “abstract but beautiful like a Dali painting” she is fucking ugly, does not matter how long you stare at her, she stays fucking ugly, she is not a Picasso, she is not Dali, she stays ugly because she was born godawful-boil-in-the-ass-ugly.


No. Exceptionally ugly feminists are not beautiful by virtue of the word “exceptional“, ugly women are not favored by the vast majority of people who actually prefer exceptionally beautiful women. Exceptions are just that, small differences to a vast average and the vast average worldwide is that UB10 women are highly valued. Let’s review what universal female beauty is built with.




Female beauty is built on estrogen. Of course, many other hormones contribute along with homeostasis/healthy looks but the grounds of the lush garden of female beauty are made of mostly estrogen. This is a short list of what makes attractive women like pornstars be universally desired AKA biological markers of human attractiveness and more specifically female beauty,





Biology gives zero fucks, female beauty means youth from roughly age 16 all the way to 39. After 40 everything goes downhill because the woman is no longer fertile and the decoy of beauty is no longer needed, it is a short reign but can be truly intense and beautiful.



Biology gives zero fucks, sick women cannot successfully deliver babies and their sickly appearance is a big neon sign that says “DO NOT FUCK – TOO SICK FOR PREGNANCY”


Body Proportion

Attractive women tend to have a figure that has been favored and emulated by artists even before the ancient Greeks, these ideal body proportions are usually at around 7-8 “heads” AKA the woman’s total height usually is 7-8 times the height of her cranium. Fewer than 8 heads means she starts to look childish. More than 8 heads, she may start to look less attractive and rather lanky. Moderately longer legs also make most women look much more attractive. Again, exceptions are not the rule, what counts is the majority.


Breast size and shape

There are many sizes and shapes but the universally accepted shape of female breasts is directly related to youth and health therefore, young and healthy women tend to have soft but firm breasts. However; deflated, saggy and hanging breasts make the woman look old regardless of her youth. The ideal breasts allow the owner to attract attention, sleep comfortably and run from predators, too much boob is a liability. Big enough, firmer, rounder boobs are the universal big neon blinking sign of nature that says “LOTS OF MILK”, even if they are implants they still signal health, again, biology gives zero fucks.



Hip to waist ratio

The hourglass or guitar-shaped is the universal big neon blinking sign of nature that says “NOT PREGNANT: AVAILABLE”

A plump well-shaped beautiful female ass is the giant sign of nature that says “HEALTHY BABIES” that signals she has wide enough hips to let the head of the baby pass and enough fat to give birth to a healthy child.

Ursa majoris

Lack of body hair

Hairy women are unattractive because they resemble hairy men, also, too much hair implies the female may have higher than the average levels of testosterone which may make her ovulation irregular. Women with very low testosterone but very high levels of estrogen, have much fewer pubic hairs, also, attractive pubic hair usually covers a small triangular patch not a giant rhomboid merkin resembling a thick door mat. If it can be used as a napkin after oral sex, or the word “Welcome” fits on top of it, she is too hairy.


Scalp hair

We are the only primates with this particular kind of colorful, long thick hair constantly growing from the scalp and it is not an accident, long healthy hair is the human equivalent of  peacock feathers, because naturally thick & healthy hair is nature’s big neon honking sign to says “SHE EATS WELL” the more scalp hairs the woman has, the more attractive she looks, but blondes? Blondes are preposterous and widely hated by other women because blondes are human kind’s biggest attention-whore peacocks at ~150K hairs per head as opposed to brunettes with only 100k and gingers with only 90K (it takes a toll not to have a hairy soul, suffer ugly orange fuckers…) Allegedly, blondes evolved that hair color to reproduce better (those crafty little dumb-blond fuckers…)

Facial symmetry

Otherwise referred as the “Marquardt Beauty Mask” or the “golden ratio mask” which boils down to how facial analysis has proven over and over again universal beauty has a symmetrical face and the template for human female beauty, to date, looks precisely like this,



Yeah, at first the template above looks like the face of a lame gay transformer but nearly any female face can be effectively altered to look more attractive by using the above template and Photoshop (common practice in the beauty-fashion industry) here is how the process looks from average to beautiful in less than 2 minutes.


This is the end of part 1.

Part 2 will be the end of this series.

Will part 2 also unveil why feminists are so godawful-boil-in-the-ass-ugly?

Find out on part 2.

Thank you for reading.

End of part 12

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