You guys remember Jared Fogle, right? He was the fatass who got famous after he lost a bunch of weight by allegedly eating Subway sandwiches. As a result of this achievement, he was given a lucrative contract to be their top spokesman, in a deal that saw him make around $15 million dollars over the years. Fogle was so famous that he entered the halls of pop culture figures. His name ID was probably just under Donald Trump’s. He was on top of the world.

Then, he decided to molest children. Looking back, that doesn’t seem like the brightest idea, does it? But, wait a minute. Despite copping a plea and admitting to engaging in unlawful sexual acts with children, Fogle now says he should be freed on a technicality

Former Subway pitchman Jared Fogle is seeking release from a Colorado federal prison, saying his guilty plea in a child pornography case was based on an illegal conspiracy charge and should be thrown out…

Fogle, 40, this week sought a writ of habeas corpus from the federal court in Denver.

He is serving a 15-year, eight-month sentence in nearby Littleton, following a 2015 guilty plea to distributing child pornography and traveling for paid sex with girls.

Fogle said his plea was unlawful because it included a “charge of conspiracy” not covered by the text of a federal law concerning sexual misconduct involving minors.

Fogle said he would not have pleaded guilty but for the improper charge and said his imprisonment violates his due process rights under the U.S. Constitution.

The habeas application named Fogle’s prison warden, the sentencing judge and U.S. President Donald Trump as defendants.

I know a guy who did over 20 years in the federal penal system. From the stories he told me, it is certainly not a cakewalk. I imagine it’s even worse for someone who molested children. So, I certainly understand Fogle’s desire to get out of there, especially given reports like these. But I don’t see how this clown thinks he should be let out, given his statements at sentencing. He confessed to the crimes, for fuck’s sake.

Fogle, 38, sought leniency, apologizing to his victims and telling the court in a tearful statement that he was raised with good values by a good family, but succumbed to self-centered “deception and lies.” He said he wished he had realized long ago that he had a problem.

“I had become dependent on alcohol, pornography and prostitutes,” he told the judge. “… I want to redeem my life. I want to become a good, decent person. I want to rebuild my life.”

Stay in jail, Fogle, and accept your time. You’re not getting out on some dumb technicality like this.

You May Also Like