When it first became clear I would be in charge of TheRalphRetort, I’ll admit I was a tad nervous. I was working 50 hours a week as well as going to university full-time. I averaged about 1-3 hours of sleep a night and often woke up in the middle of it as I had more work to do. Time is a precious commodity and almost every second of my day is planned.

Regardless, I told Ralph I would try my best, and I really did. This is truly a 24/7 job. There is no such thing as a holiday or a rest in this industry. Constantly keeping up with your Twitter, having your Google alerts go off during your 20-minute nap, and choosing what story to talk about is pretty overwhelming.

I’m sure there are many people who look at what we do and assume it’s easy as hell. Just write a couple of hundred words and then tweet about it. I believed that too until I took over. And then I learnt about all the shitty aspects of the job.

TheRalphRetort is usually just one person doing everything. You’re the creative, the editor, the PR team, the tech guy, Human resources etc. You have to have the patience to listen to endless complaining, moaning, and whining. You have to deal with people attacking you before you’ve even opened your mouth. People I’ve never said two sentences to or about have said some pretty heinous shit to me. It’s the internet, so it was expected. I’ve ignored a lot of it, but on the few occasions I retaliate, they start crying about how rude I am. Amusing but also baffling.

I know I fell short quite a few times. There are a lot of people who think they could have done this job better than me, and they may be right. But as Claire Foy said in The Crown, “for better or worse, the Crown has landed on my head.” At least that one video I did got over 33,000 views. I’m holding on to that one for when I get a bollocking from Ralph.

Truth be told, the best part of this job for me has been you guys, the people who read the site and watch the YouTube channel. I’ve known some of you for over 2 years, and a minute few have had the unfortunate pleasure of knowing me personally. You’ve been with us through our very public ups and downs, and despite my favourite catchphrase, I do like most of you. I hope I did right by you guys.

Ethan Ralph returns today and will immediately be reinstated as Editor-in-chief. Even though I am a very power hungry bitch, I’m more than happy to step aside. After all, I’ve got to learn some more things from Ralph before I try to overthrow him. But in all seriousness, this experience has made me respect Ralph even more. I’ve missed the twat and am excited to work with him again.

And finally, I want to say thank you to my cabal. To my little group of autistic nutters, your support and friendship has meant the world to me. I don’t think I could have made it through the past eight months without you lot. I know I often say very mean things to you guys, but all of you have a very special place in my tiny, cold heart. Except for TMC, fuck that asshole.

 

As fun as this has been, lets never do it again.

 

Love,

Nora H. Ralph

The best Editor-in-chief of TheRalphRetort ever

 


Killstream special tonight at 7:30 pm EST to celebrate TheRalph’s return. Be on your worst behaviour.

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