EDITOR’S NOTE: This is one of the strangest things I’ve seen in awhile. As most of you know, I reviewed Jurassic World last week. Long story short, I liked it a lot (and might go see it again for kicks). But, never once did I think about the lead actor being in “brownface” because he had a dark tan. Maybe that’s because the movie takes place on a fucking tropical island, but I digress. Also, I’m not a demented Tumblrina like the person Candy Jam, our recent contributor, discusses this morning. The bizarre Tumblr post is included as well.

GUEST EDITORIAL by Candy Jam (Steam)

Tumblr couldn’t possibly get any stupider could it? Yes. Yes it could. In light of the Rachel Dolezal Orange is the New Black scandal, the hellhole of a site decided to have it’s own case of ‘brownface’ with the new star of Jurassic Park-I mean World, Chris Pratt.1 2 3

Maybe Rachel can give pointers on how to get away with it? I’m sure she has a make up collection to rival that of the monster creators of Syfy’s Face Off.  Like John Green just a few days prior, Chris fell from grace, going from the dorky beloved of a hoard of panty drenched tumblrinas to EVIL RACIST. All this because he worked in the sun, in Hawaii for a total of 78 shooting days. He obviously stepped over the hard working “people of color” (PoC) actors as he did. But only 9,205 notes on Tumblr? A lot of which are people calling out the shit show for what it is. That’s a positive right? Nope.4

Yep, gotta bring that White Supremacy in, all that racial hierarchy! The sun totally favors the white people. And of course the working class is only PoC cause white people get all the good inside jobs…like Barista at Starbucks. Then they get the authority to decide whether or not to spell that oppressed’ PoC’s name correctly. The audacity! And the crazy goes on. Into Tin foil hat territory.5 6 7 8 9 10So we went from brownface to no Women of Color speaking in the movie, to tanning is a white man’s thing. I could go on about the absolute nonsense but I’ll let it speak for itself. Also, you can’t forget about misogyny and how this oppresses women. Because that’s at the heart of everything of course.  Those poor Women of Color with no source or origin unable to tan so they can impress the white people. All this evil and bigotry because an actor filmed in a tropical location for a few months. Big talk from a source that ironically isn’t really chatty about the ‘I identify as Black’ Rachel Dolezal.  I’ll take what is “bullshit I pulled out of my ass” for $1,000, Alex.

62 comments
  1. It’s heartening to see that less and less people are taking these people- and their increasingly insane claims- seriously.

    1. not a problem

      if it triggers tumblr butthurt it’s probably a good thing

      make it your goal today

  2. I’m reading this shit and it’s like gazing into the scribblings of a madman.

    Holy god fucking damn what is leading people to do this? Is it really because people in the USA have relatively less conflict or challenges?

    Does a perfect, care-free life inevitably lead to boredom-induced madness?

    There should be some sort of study about this shit. Fascinating and terrifying at the same time.

    1. It absolutely does need it’s own segment. I personally got interested in the weird behavior because of the same tactics by aggros in Cosplay. As well as a old acquaintance who went from straight in a long term relationship looking for faith in her beliefs. To Demisexual genderqueer asexual pagan feminist. Even in her pictures she went from healthy to pale, sickly and with bags under her eyes.

  3. When I tan I become brown and when my sis was younger she became literally black under sun exposure to the point people asking my parents if she was adopted.

    Another funny thing is that famous “latino” in the star wars trailer McIntosh babbled about is whiter than me. Probably this means southern italians (or mediterraneans) are a minority in the fucked SJWs minds.

    Or maybe we’re a secret weapon of the patriarchy, who knows.

    1. Spanish, Portuguese, Arabs, Turks, Jews, Persians, Greeks, Serbs, central Asians and, yes, Southern Italians may be “white” in the eyes of Uncle Sam, but they’re all groups where you see a gradient with some white looking people and some brown people. There are a lot of populations like this, hell, back in the day some Welsh actors got a lot of “ethnic” roles in movies. because they looked the part and were available. It’s the same with biracial people which is probably why the “transracial” chick was able to pass for so long, people probably saw her kinked up hair and figured, “well she looks white but whatever”.

      1. I think one of the greatest thing about GG is we are worldwide and this thing helps to make SJWs U.S. centric pov a fucking joke. And probably they have started to notice this. Look what happened to Witcher 3 and now with Deus Ex: they’re starting to attack other countries: “They’re from Poland/They’re French” well yes not everyone is a white privileged middle class american with Tumblr as a job. I wanna see how many people will go after things like “French perspective on race is fucked because colonialism”.

        This may turn out more lulzy than we tought.

        1. Yeah, although to be fair it has always been this way – They criticized the last Deus Ex, several Assassin’s Creeds, and all of the Witchers at some point in time – And all of those series are made by foreign game companies, and Deus Ex and Assassin’s Creed are made by multicultural dev teams (AC always makes sure to point this out in every single game).

          These people are just as racist as southerners before the civil war. They divide all of humanity into two groups: PoC LBGTQIA & White cis men. Pay no mind to the fact that the term “white person” is extremely ignorant: Many ethnic groups have pale skin.

          But yeah, the devs getting fed up with this BS is quite satisfying. Hopefully more and more will speak out. (And then we have Japanese Devs who just don’t care at all and make what they want).

  4. I have no idea what the hell I just read. There are words there, I understand the words even, but the words together become nothing but utterly indecipherable madness from what I can see.

    1. That was about my reaction. All the words are English, but when you string them together it’s complete garbage.

    2. landale i think this is what they call ramblings of a madman i think your supposed to ignore it but its like a train wreak you can’t look away

  5. Dear Tumblrinas/SJWs/or any faux-progressive idiot,

    While you’re entitled to your ramblings, delusions and tinfoil hat conspiracies I have one modest request. Please keep us people of color out of your shenanigans. While I appreciate (disgusted with) the enthusiasm; you’re turning personal struggles and experiences into nothing more than a fucking joke just like Rachel Dolezal’s supposed “transracial” excuse to ignore her guilt of all the lies she said for over ten years.

    From a middle class black man who is not your shield

    1. Thanks for mentioning that dumbass that is Rachael Dolezal. Sadly this came to mind when you mentioned “transracial”. And more disheartening we will be a t a point some day when this becomes a thing:

      https://youtu.be/IJH5AR0CuRI

    2. i have to agree with you their i also thin the writer should be in a straight jacket case hes so fucking out of touch with reality seriously the poc people have more important shit to do leave us out of your bullshit we can take a joke unlike you morons
      from another black man that’s not your shield

  6. There are times, such as these, where I am thankful twitter, tumblr and the like wasn’t around to immortalise the deluded bullshit opinions I had in my 20s.

    Sure, in ten years I might look back in horror at the opinions I hold today, but at least I didn’t pen the above tumblr post without irony.

    Just wow.

    1. The place where logic goes to die, one would think.
      Honestly, I haven’t ever seen amount of retarded, batshit insane ideas such as those on tumblr. And I’ve visited quite a few 4chan threads.

  7. This person is surely a troll. I think it may be better not to give them attention outside of the Tumblr hive.

    1. Either this or he’s a complete idiot. A lot of actors use spray tan for roles. If he feels he needs to complain about brown face this makes more sense

      1. I recall for about five minutes there were people whining about RDJ, until the vast majority told them to STFU.

        And I vaguely remember at least one quip of ‘you’re just pissed ’cause he looks just as good as a black guy as he does as a white guy!’

        1. I think there was probably less outrage because RDJ was also mocking how this used to be done in old movies, but who knows with these SJWs tumblrinas

  8. I’m considered a “white” person. If you looked at just, say, my ankle, I’d totally look white. When I’m asked on paperwork, I list ‘white’, because no one belives me if iI say otherwise.

    BuT I’m not actually white.

    This year I’ve spent a huge amount of time outside. Everything from my shoulderes down is as dark as Pratt. Easily. Does this mean I’m trying to pretend to be a mexican?

    Brownface and black face goes beyond just a spray tan. If he’s not a white man, dressing and acting like a -stereotypical- hispanic man, it’s just a bad spray tan.

    78 days in the sun on hawaii?? I’d likely look more hispanic than most of the hispanic people I know.

    But clearly a promo photo (that we don’t know when it was taken) that is proof it was all spray tan, since using photoshop to even tone and change a photo is unheard of in the photography industry.

    Not once did it ever cross my mind that Pratt was supposed to be a hispanic man. By the definition of blackface, (brownface), it is -not- brownface.

    I don’t see them losing their shirt over the crap they did in White Chicks.

  9. LMAO the argument is literally “let’s remember that white supremacy is a thing, therefore Chris Pratt having a tan = brown face, also all white people are racists.” Can that person please just go kill themselves? Chris Pratt being tanned on a tropical island makes PERFECT FUCKING SENSE. And um… I suppose it is something of a racist “trope,” but aren’t “brown” or “black” characters usually portrayed as having MORE common sense when it comes to heading in the opposite direction of danger? Some could say the “hero” who heads into the fray is “brave,” but you could also call that pretty damn stupid. ;P I mean, wouldn’t an AIR STRIKE against the giant, intelligent, mutant dinosaur have made a lot more sense? Or perhaps a back up bio-weapon as a fail safe? Juuuuuust sayin’.

    Oh, and of course, these SJWs, WoC and PoC and their textbook, dime store racism. They take something that no rational, sane person would even consider and just bang the “racist as fuck drum,” to their hearts content. I mean, really, I’m learning about stereotypes I never even knew about from these self-righteous, vain-glorious bastards. These people are retarded and should be treated as such.

    1. not all us PoC really cared its just the ones that even people in straight jackets would say calm the fuck down and personly i think hero can sometimes translate to huge dumbass

      1. I just love how people of any race can’t help but demonstrate their own massive racial bias when losing their shit over meaningless and trivial things. And they call ME mad. HA!

    2. Super Aegis II. Real world tech that should’ve been used in the movie. Completely fixes the whole “run into trouble” situation.

  10. How come the “tan getting darker” is shown by offering a pic of Pratt in the dark? I haven’t seen the movie but is this enough to tell me that some on Tumblr don’t understand how light and dark work?

  11. What the author of the Tumblr nonsense ignores is that cultures around the world for thousands of years held the view that paler skin equated with higher social standing.

    Having a tan doesn’t mean you were black working in the sun under the white man because the Japanese used to believe for more than 1500 years that a pale skinned boy with black hair was more desirable than the tanned boys with their sun bleached orange hair.

    In Liberia, lighter skinned black men hold a highet social standing than darker black men. In India, being lighter skinned can get you better education and better marriage prospects.

    “Light is right” is a concept held by North American, Central American, South American, European, African, and Asian cultures. It’s not white supremacy if China has been holding lighter skin as a mark of superiority centuries before there was a Jesus to encourage whitey to racism.

  12. Someone has *way* too much time on their hands.

    Also, how is “People of Color” less racist than “Colored People”?

  13. Of course this was brown face! Do you think darker skins just falls from the sky? Maybe if you wish upon a star, perhaps the closest one to Earth, you’ll have your wish granted, amarite??? Social justice logic wins again guys! Everyone can go home.

  14. Well, there we have it people – I’m a racist:

    A. I drive a car, and get a tanned arm
    B. A tanned arm = brownarm
    C. Therefore driving a car = racist white spremacy.
    D. Therefore I am racist

    SMH. I didn’t even read more than the first couple of paragraphs of that garbage. Pratt isn’t even that tan – If he was filming in Hawaii he must have been using copious amounts of sunblock.

  15. Lets only hope it hits California first. And when I’m watching the news and it show the hipsters there are spilling there Starbucks lattes and yelling at the sky about the meteor is oppressive or some shit like that. Just moments before it extinguishes there miserable existences from the face the Earth fovever. Then I can die happy.

  16. I can’t deal with the idiots on Tumblr. The SJW crowd there make aGG look absolutely sane and reasonable. Those idiots start a few measures past #fullmcintosh with everything, and it gets crazier. Seriously, imagine a community where Josh and Brianna Wu are the voices of reason and you are close to Tumblr SJWs!

  17. Maybe he got a tan for the movie because..his character is outside all the time handling animals, rides a motorcycle (no sun protection there!), and he genuinely seems like the outdoors type. So naturally it would make sense for said character to have a tan since (and this may seem shocking) lighter skinned people tend to gain a tan when exposed to large amounts of sunlight.

  18. Uh. That’s not even a particularly significant tan — and I would bet a lot of what looks like a change in skin tone is due to color manipulation in the final edit of the film.

    Also, I don’t actually know who this dude is, so whatever.

  19. So these people never seen someone from the Australian outback or many New Zealanders or whites living in the Pacific… they tend to be quite tanned and when it’s hot they tend to get dirty quite easily.

  20. So are they going to ban tans next? I guess no more sitting out in the sun, you might be accused of trying to be black or brown. Perhaps they’re just trying to misdirect the attention off Rachel Dolezal, since she was one of their own and she fucked up, showing what most SJWs are probably like. They are the ones that are racist, trying to tell people how to live their lives because they think they’re the all knowing white person and they know what’s best. Because in the white people world, these white SJWs have no power, they’re nobodies, so they have to try to exert power over women, people of color, etc.. to try to get what they can’t get elsewhere. So they’ll even go as far as lying about their race to get that power.

  21. I must be guilty of being in brown face… After all, I am a white man that works outside, and I commit the crime of tanning. Or maybe the sun is racist?

  22. It’s kinda stupid to point that out because if you think about it, it’s perfectly fine for him to be tan, be he originally white or not. And if you actually think for a minute, it actually fits the film. I feel like he has to be tan because his character is, in fact, working at a zoo/amusement park type of place…if the person isn’t aware of that. Which means that he [Owen] is constantly under the sun. So white or not, his skin will darken.

    Duh.

  23. Wow, who knew that having a character who supposedly works full time on a tropical island and get decent tans would be considered racist. Fucking christ, man, lol

    Also, the aunt in the movie who goes out searching for them is in position of power and took sole responsibility to hunt them down by getting Pratt’s character to help her. BUT LET’S IGNORE THAT SHE’S CONSIDERED HIGHER RANK THAN MOST OF THESE MEN and continue to push some BS dogma.

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