Guest Editorial by David Brown (Dave the Sandman)
The UK’s paper of the centrist liberals The Independent has, on occasion, seemed to chase the same audience as The Guardian by posting idiotic anti-gamer screeds and crazed feminist dribble op-eds. Why it does this is beyond anyone’s understanding, as reliable feedback stats show The Guardian is shedding its readership faster than beer turns to piss.
One important difference, so far, is that while The Guardian ironically proclaim “Comment is Free” while dropping the banhammer more than PZ Myers, The Independent have maintained a fairly hands off approach to their comments sections, allowing what we shall call a more ‘robust’ form of debate. The Guardian’s thought police mods have driven some thoughtful folks, including myself (a loyal reader for around 30 years), away…and usually into the hands of The Independent, a saucy young filly I had a brief dalliance with when it first started up.
So, even though the odd feminist rant and anti-gamer dungheap had made its way into The Indy, imagine my frank horror when, this morning, I opened the site up to find my new rag of choice had gone #FULLMCINTOSH! Not only that, but FULL MAC AND CHEESE.
The article is just more of what we expect of FullMac – self loathing, bitching, whining and generally sucking the fun out of anything. Its full of instantly laughable claims and hysteria. But then again what did we expect? For example…
“How do superheroes make friends? By punching each other. How do you resolve conflicts, big and small? By punching each other. Whose plan will be followed? How is trust built among teammates? Face-punching can accomplish all this and more.”
Right Josh. I take it you skipped the last Avengers outing then? The one which was like some awful extended episode of Friends with all the soul seeking, angst and teen panty wetter sexual tension interspersed with a couple of half decent action sequences? The one which was so faggy it took me three showers, drain cleaner and a scrubbing brush to wash the stink of faggotry off? After watching that betaboy bawwfest I Ionly cured my depression by watching a string of 80s Arnie flicks like Predator and Commando while chewing madly on beef jerky. Age of Ultron? Mamma Mia in spandex more like.
The real hilarity though is saved for the comments section. I guess Joshy boy forgot that The Indy lets theirs be a free fire zone. Some choice nutmegs…
“Jonathan McIntosh will never understand it, but normal people love masculinity“.
“This “hypermasculinity” rubbish just shows Mcintosh’s ideological extremism. Not for nothing is this man considered a running joke online“.
“Jonathan McIntosh needs to get in touch with his masculine side. If he has one“.
And my personal fave…
“Amazing to see trust fund twerps like #fullmcintosh managing to monetise their self-loathing“.
I sincerely hope that Josh’s little victory at having a respected UK paper print his dribble has been royally fucked in the ass by that papers readership and their utter fucking disrespect for his cackola. Do feel free to put your own comments below the article, and make ’em extra spicy.
And here is a tip for you Josh you fat sweaty fucktard: Next time send your shit to The Guardian. They will happily stop people ripping it (and you) to shreds in the comments.