I went to see Jurassic World today. Like almost anyone else my age (29), I was a huge fan of the original movie, Jurassic Park. The sequels didn’t do that much for me, but that first one will always have a special place in my heart. I vividly remember the lead-up to it being released, seeing it in theaters, and watching it about two-hundred times at home. So, needless to say, when I heard they were rebooting the franchise with World, I was very interested. I’m happy to say that for the most part, I was greatly pleased. There was also some controversy about this film, drummed up by the feminist mafia. Where have we heard that story before? Let’s talk about the actual movie first, though.

I saw it in 3D, although it was nothing special. This could have been due to the small screen I was seeing it on, but I wasn’t impressed. I think you could save a few bucks, see it on a regular screen, and you wouldn’t be missing anything. That’s just me. The movie also starts slowly, with star Chis Pratt not showing up until 15-20 minutes in. That’s to be expected, though. You can’t just have a dino rampage right from the start. In this way, it reminds me of last year’s Godzilla (which I loved). JurassicWorldGate

The dialogue is kind of hokey early on, but this is a big-budget action flick. I didn’t expect them to be reinventing the wheel here. I will say that I think the supporting cast performances, with a couple exceptions, were better in San Andreas. Jurassic World is doing better among the critics, but I think these two movies are about on par with one another. World is slightly ahead for me, though, due to the finish of the film being stronger, as well as lingering nostalgia for the franchise (and that John Williams score).jurassic-world-20


One thing the film did help me realize, was how smoking hot Bryce Dallas Howard is. As the movie progresses, this becomes more and more obvious. I guess it’s kind of a metaphor for her stuck-up character, who, over the course of the film, learns to open herself up and appreciate what is really important in life. Some professional feminists are outraged because this portrayal supposedly slanders career-oriented women. As usual, they are way off base with this analysis. Major spoilers ahead:

Claire and Owen set off to find the boys. Perhaps had Claire ventured off on her own without the accompaniment of a male dinosaur behavioral expert, that would be feminist approved? There is an incident during Claire and Owen’s adventure-filled nephew-finding-quest where Claire grabs a gun and angrily shoots a beast that’s relentlessly attacking Owen. But she used a gun and not a hashtag, so that’s probably a point for right-wingers.

In the end, Claire and Owen ultimately save the boys and the lives of park goers. But since a man and a woman worked together as a team, that’s probably at least 15 points for traditionalists.

Here’s a rad fem rant from Vulture. The author says she enjoyed the film, but you could be forgiven for thinking the opposite given this spiel:

As the movie’s setup continues we learn that Claire’s frigidity also extends to the dinos, which she refers to as “assets” and “attractions.” These are lab-grown money-makers to her, not sentient beings with uncontrollable killer instincts. Oh, and she likely hasn’t been fucked properly in a long time…

Jurassic World doesn’t just reverse the original’s feminism by 22 years; this is some Tarzan-and-Jane-level bullshit. Claire does eventually get dirty, find inner strength, and become quite the fighter. We know she’s loosening up because she takes off that white silk shirt and ties it around her waist, and her hair goes from blown-out straight to impeccably wavy. Also, she pets a dying brontosaurus and sheds a tear. But all of this comes under swarthy Owen’s manfluence, and while it’s happening, she’s constantly being undermined. Claire saves the lives of both Owen and her nephews, only to have the boys tell her that they feel safest with her “boyfriend.”

Joss Whedon started all this weeks before the movie even came out. He learned the hard way shortly after the release of his own blockbuster that there’s no way to please these radicals. We all know people like Howard’s Claire character exist in real life. Were there some exaggerations, like her wearing heels throughout the movie? Yes. There’s also giant test-tube grown dinosaurs running around, which also seems like a slight exaggeration. The point is, this is not real. It’s fictional. Most things are going to be over-the-top in a production like this. bryce-dallas-howard-jurassic-world

As for the rest of the show, I didn’t like Pratt’s Owen very much at the beginning (again, having to do with the dialogue and slow burn), but he settled in by the second half. Vincent D’Onofrio is hilarious as the bad-guy security chief Hoskins. I didn’t even realize that was him until I just looked it up. In fact, he’s one of the highlights of the film. I also enjoyed seeing Archer’s Judy Greer get a pretty nice role as the mother of the boys who go off to the island to visit their Aunt Claire. The boys themselves do OK, although I much preferred the younger portion of the San Andreas cast. JWSuperBowlTrailer-Raptors1


There are numerous callbacks to Jurassic Park, some of them blatant. Characters discuss the “first park,” and one of the workers even talks about having bought an original shirt from there off eBay. Later on in the film, the original comes into play in a bigger way. I would be lying if I said this nostalgia didn’t please me greatly. I thought it was all handled in a nice way, without getting too caught up in it. Also, the wide-shots of the park are pretty amazing, and it does give you that “another world” sense.mdmzIgQ

All-in-all, this was a great spiritual sequel to the original Jurassic Park. The ending is exciting, and the film picks up a lot from the slow beginnings. The rad fems hate it, but then again, they hate anything that isn’t propaganda for their illogical cause. By the way, I went to see this World at 10:40am here in Richmond, VA. The theater was packed even then. I knew the movie was going to do amazing business when I saw that, and I was proven correct. According to reports out of Hollywood, it had a bigger Friday opening than Furious 7, and is on track to take home $160 million or so for the weekend (domestic). I would encourage anyone who wants to see a fun summer blockbuster, or who like me, is hungry to re-live the 90’s in some way, to check out Jurassic World. I doubt you will be disappointed.


Star Rating (out of 4): * * * & 1/4 


  1. I still love the original but skipped all of them after that.

    This is the first one that I feel might live up to the series’ legacy. Good review.

  2. PC culture, dinosaur fads, great RPGs coming out, we really are reliving the 90’s.

    How much until Skateboarding games become popular again?

      1. Agreed! plus its a you had to be there moment, the first time in 93 when that brachiosaurus raised its legs to eat and the music and reaction was just so perfect…

        if i one day have a kid i make sure he/she gets to watch Jurassic park before all the CGi heavy stuff we get today just so that kid will appreciate it.

  3. Ironic that Dr. Grant essentially had the same character arc as Howard’s character and no one was complaining.

  4. “We know she’s loosening up because she takes off that white silk shirt and ties it around her waist, and her hair goes from blown-out straight to impeccably wavy. Also, she pets a dying brontosaurus and sheds a tear”

    Hahaha, ok, ok I know you are right Ralph but the above quote has a point, tho it’s one that can be applied to both genders and usual characters in action packed movies, this kinds of things are probably the most what we can come to expect from character development. People really stopped noticing until somebody writes it down like this. The movie is still surely fun (I have yet to watch it), but let’s be realistic, you also didn’t expect much of character development and depth, and I know what y’all going to say: “it’s an action movie!”, but really just because it is doesn’t mean we can’t have both interesting characters that don’t loosen up their hair and suddenly become deep and action. We are just too used to cheesy. I would just make an argument that it’s not sexist, just bad writing that befalls characters of both genders in this kind of a flick. Still it’s either not something that will define this or any similar movie as “bad”. Shallow cheesy action is something we can all enjoy and do regardless and we don’t really need characters that will recite philosophers and shit to enjoy them.

    1. I would just make an argument that it’s not sexist, just bad writing that befalls characters of both genders in this kind of a flick.

      The problem is she thinks it’s sexist, despite the fact Dr. Grant had a similar level of character development in the first film.

      Also, “swarthy”? WTF is that supposed to mean?

      1. Well yeah, but I mean, are you surprised? That’s a typical SJW problem, it happens to both genders, yet it is somehow sexism against women. Same with killing in video games. This way of thinking is already so common that I feel that I don’t even need to mention that it’s a problem every time, at least here on Ralph’s site where everyone realizes this. It’s like needing to say that killing children is bad every time it happens, normal people know it’s bad.

        I thought my English is pretty good, guess I still have some learning to do.

        1. I thought my English is pretty good, guess I still have some learning to do.

          The problem is you said “the above quote has a point” but the point of the quote was “look how sexist this is!!11!1”

          You should say something “that quote would have a point if it was asking for character development in general instead of just whining that woman was portrayed in a way she didn’t like”.

          I thought my English is pretty good, guess I still have some learning to do.

          If it makes you feel better, this is like the fourth time you’ve mentioned you’re not a native speaker, but I didn’t remember until now.

          1. Ah yes, now I understand, thank you for taking the time to explain. I need to work on my wording and context appropriation.

    2. Well, it’s a blockbuster. They aren’t gonna spend a lot of time getting deep, usually. But I was happy with Claire’s character arc. As Bryce Dallas Howard said in an interview, that it’s rare to even have much of an arc at all in these kinds of movies.

  5. First movie I’ll be seeing in a theatre since Black Swan, it’s been a few years 😉

    Nice review!

  6. I have yet too see the movie. But, if pisses of the rad fems… well, then that’s just a bonus for me. 😉

  7. Great review Ralph.

    I just finished watching it and it was worth me waking up early to watch the first showing at my favorite movie theater. And yes, my god Bryce Dallas Howard!

    I think I fell in love a few times.

  8. I was unaware that this was a restarting of the movies and not a continuation of the first 3 films. I already find that a disappointing but I guess it makes sense in that the park would never have happened in that universe. I think JP2 was not that great though it was cool to see Ian Malcolm return as he was the last character I would have expected to be in a sequel. I really liked JP3 mainly because Dr.Grant returned and even Dr.Sattler had a small part.

    As for the radfem outrage, we all know they will never be satisfied until the world goosesteps perfectly in line with their agenda. I enjoy their constant outrage as it is a constant reminder that they are a vast minority and the real world is primarily made up of people without head shoved firmly up ass.

    1. Having watched it I would say it is a semi sequel. There are many throwbacks to the original movie without referencing the events directly. I think this may have erased 2, but it can also be in the same continuity.

    2. As for the radfem outrage, we all know they will never be satisfied until the world goosesteps perfectly in line with their agenda.

      And each SJW has their own agenda, meaning that if they “win” they’re going to fall apart in a back-stabbing orgy from which there can only be 1.

      And then each SJW keeps changing their agenda, meaning that the SJW
      “Utopia” will consist of one dude ranting about “internalized shitlordship” amongst the ruins of the world until he cuts his own throat.

    3. I don’t think the first three are totally erased form cannon, but this is supposed to be the “spiritual successor” to the first one. I agree with you, JP3 was the better of the two original sequels.

  9. I’m a big fan of the Jurassic Park movies and books and I really enjoyed the movie.

    It had some amazing Easter eggs my favorite being Michael Crichton’s portrait on one of the desks in the control room. The characters were kind of weak, but this is how it was supposed to be – the film belongs to the dinosaurs. The final battle was amazing. I think this might be my second favorite movie in the series.

    “Jurassic World doesn’t just reverse the original’s feminism by 22 years” – U wot mate? The first movie is one of the best things shown in cinema, not some propaganda machine. I’m getting too angry, but these is the usual feminist tactics – everything that is good or popular is feminist. Similar how they declared Dr Leonard Nimoy to be a feminist shortly after his death. Disgusting.

  10. In case anyones wondering why the Hulk hogan pic is here as well. I had two windows open and accidently pulled it in here and I have no Idea how to remove it

  11. I quite liked it. I honestly feel Bryce Dallas Howard was actually pretty well written… certainly better than Natasha or Wanda were in Age of Ultron. Which, you know, has left me at the point where if I were to meet Joss in person (I’m not far from him, actually…) I will burst out in the loudest, most boisterous, most mean spirited laugh I’ve ever laughed right in his fat, middle-school-history-teacher-looking face.

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