Good morning, readers! First off, Milo’s piece should be coming out today (according to Breitbart’s Allum Bokhari). It ended up getting pushed back. We will be talking about it as soon as it hits, as long as I’m awake. So check back for that. This morning, we have a piece from Candy Jam that again explores the dystopian world of Tumblr. Speaking of Tumblr, I don’t use it much, BUT, I do post links there. So follow me, or whatever.

GUEST EDITORIAL by Candy Jam (Steam)

Tumblr is a place where those who were once bullied become the crusaders they always wanted to be. Fighting the good fight against the vicious Victoria secret models who dare to be fitter than they are. Destroying the patriarchy that is cis white (and/or gay, black, Hispanic) male! And stealing! Yes, that’s right. Tumblr has an entire outlet dedicated to those with sticky fingers, complete with tips and how-to’s for dummies on the run!

Though still relatively unknown, the liftshopping of Tumblr has been gaining more prominence lately. Sane folks watch as spoiled, snot-nosed brats brag and post their loot. Yes, that’s right. After lifting they will post stolen goods complete with pricing.

Well thank God it was so cute, otherwise seeing those friends mighta been awkward. And what a bargain! $106 saved! I am totally sure the salesperson on the floor won’t mind the cut hours for merchandise missing. After all, fashion is a must!

Well to be fair that’s just one person and it was just clothing. It’s not like they are hurting anything living, right?


Yea that’s right! If you wanna get some good stuff just release panicked live animals. Cause a panic, I mean who cares if the panic causes bodily harm. No one gets seriously hurt in a crowd frenz-oh wait…Black Friday is a thing, isn’t it? Who cares if the animals are euthanized! Aunt Higgith got a great score. She must be the life of the Christmas party. Although after some searching this is likely be a made up for notes story. As no news articles could be found. Still Tumblr is stupid enough to believe an April Fools joke about Disney ‘considering’ a Chinese lead for an upcoming live action Mulan. Soooo yea.

And yes, there’s scares, take this poor lifter. Her friend totally forgot to check the phone case! She was almost caught with her haul. So check all over, you baby lifters! You don’t wanna be caught. It’d be so “not cool” on Tumblr. Aunt Higgith would be totally disappointed. Shoulda let some hamsters in the store.


But of course, we as the paying public aren’t allowed an opinion you know. We are of course Tumblr’s favorite buzzword. “Privilege. We just don’t get what it’s like to be in a hard knock life.



These poor people totally need make up, candy, and lacy panties, right? Who are we to judge their actions? They need that copic marker set for their coloring book!


Remember, we must Listen and Believe, as apparently nearly all of the lifting community is comprised of women. We must ignore the unspoken workers who are likely docked hours and pay. After all, women of Tumblr are perfection! Oh wait..

  1. I’ve been water-in-cornflakes poor before. Never shoplifted. And shoplifting for “cute summer clothes” is theft for vanity, not out of necessity. There is no excuse and I feel these Tumblr sociopaths should be culled for the monstrous, self-absorbed behaviors they push.

    1. Yeah, if someone need to steal for their family to survive, well I can’t call them an asshole for that.

      If they steal because it’s the newest trend in their hipster circle-jerk? Then I feel nothing but an urge to kick their teeth in.

  2. It pisses me off when people do this passively but you’re telling me there’s a group that steals shit and then is idiotic enough to brag about it online? I used to work for a Kroger child-company called Jay C. One of the perks of working there was a long as you’d been there over a year, you got a profit sharing check. However, stolen goods would directly deduct from profit sharing. It wasn’t uncommon to catch people eating small fruits and vegetables directly off the produce shelves, and weirder still how unaware people were that what they were doing was considered stealing.

    1. Probably… I think at this point it is just taken as a challenge.
      or maybe the collective user weight is sinking it lower one burger at a time /joke.

    2. Realistically speaking, no matter how low you set your expectations for people, on tumblr or otherwise, there are going to be those who fail to clear them. Even if they’re set so low that an ant can’t limbo beneath them. 😛

  3. My god this is pathetic. I wonder if these morons who post their crimes on tumblr would be the same little shits that would call the police if someone stole from them.

    1. they are Tumblrina’s they would call the police if the thought someone stole from them (heh, tumblina’s thinking, lol, that requires a level of awareness that many of them don’t seem to posses) of course after writing a tirade on Tumblr about how stealing is wrong, despite posting on how great it is to steal things the day (or a lesser amount of time) before.

      1. Never been big on tumblr so I didn’t know, or simply forgot, they are called that. Either way they probably would make up a false theft just to fuck with someone.

  4. Do these idiots think they can get away with this and go unpunished? Shops let them pull this stunt because THEY’RE GETTING CAUGHT ON TAPE. And the moment they are busted the there’s more than enough video footage to sink them in jail for a long, long time.

    1. Soon we will reach a point, where according to SJWs, respecting the law is considered hateful and you need to be a criminal to be accepted.

  5. This is “Free Trade”! Don’t ask if stealing, pollution, slavery in China makes your t-shirt cost $5, but then don’t also ask where the $2 t-shirt came from either.
    Besides wemall own everything in common

  6. So they ban people for having non-SJW opinions, yet they allow people to post tips to steal stuff in stores. Mind = blown.

  7. I’ve seen this before. If you’re male. If you’re non-white. Worse, if you’re both of those things… you’re trapped by security and cops and taken to jail and tried as hard as you can be tried.

    If you’re female. And *ESPECIALLY* if you’re a white female . . . you are either just a rambunctious child that needs a little leniency and attention (if you are young) or you are just a troubled woman who is lacking something in life usually due to a father that didn’t hug you enough or a husband who works too hard (if you are a woman over thirty). You’re not a thug or taking advantage of anyone. You’re just innocently finding an outlet for the frustrations that OTHER PEOPLE in life have dealt you. You poor, poor thing.

    Talk about the utmost in privileged. Fuck these obnoxious little self-centered twats. Shoot them on-site, if they’re stealing your property and let luck sort them out!

    1. TRs: Trace Routes for those not in the know. Can be used to grab the IP address and from there get a location.

  8. Speaking as someone who had a store he worked at in the past closed in part due to losses from theft, [fornicate] those special snowflakes up the pooper with a rusty railroad spike.


  9. I work LP for Sephora and this shit pisses me off. I usually bust these kids take back my shit and let em go but now I’m calling every parent. Cops too, if I can.

    1. Considering how spoiled these brats are, you probably want to get the cops as back-up against the parents.

      Because there’s a good chance the parents aren’t going to do shit about their kid’s entitlement issues, or even decide to blame the store.

    2. The cops might be necessary. :/ I read a post where a girl complained about her parents putting her under “house arrest” for being a shithead, but she STILL managed to steal. What made it worse was that her family was obviously wealthy, because she noted that she didn’t steal the Chanel bag, Tiffany jewelry, or Cole Haan boots in her picture. Ugh.

  10. You know these are all white girls doing this, because most of these stores watch black customers like hawks, even if they’re well off.

  11. Tumblr is a wretched hive of scum and villainy, I’m no longer surprised by the insanity.

    1. After reading your comment I want a parody version of A New Hope to be made where Mos Eisley is entirely populated with Tumblrinas.

      “These aren’t the cishet white male racists you are looking for”

  12. >liftshopping aka shoplifting

    I’m so glad these geniuses posted this stuff, it’s further proof what they teach at the police college that your average criminal is a stupid, moronic, loser that openly incriminates themselves. Wonder how many of them are from Canada, we don’t have a statue of limitations on theft under or over 5K. And on top of it, they can be nailed for theft, and possession of stolen property. Which can land them in jail for upto a year or a fine not exceeding $10k

  13. I don’t seem to be able to close my mouth. It’s just hanging there, I’m twitching slightly. I can’t even…

    Wow. Just Wow.

  14. I agree that these privileged girls are disgusting. Who needs four Naked palettes and 20 pairs of PINK underwear? But, you might want to remove the “Animal Tip” screenshot. The blog that posted it is fake. Its purpose is to mainly antagonize the “liftshopping” community by sharing idiotic tips to make the shoplifters look even dumber (if that’s even possible).

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