I’m going to do a longer post about the 2016 and my thoughts on it, but first, I thought it would be nice to go back and look at the top posts of the year here at TheRalphRetort.com. I did a similar list for 2015, if you would like to check that out.

Without further ado, let’s get started…

10. Nintendo Roasts Zoe Quinn in New Paper Mario: Color Splash!

Some days are just better than others, what can I say? After making a career off being a phony game dev and media darling who lies about anyone and everyone in sight, Zoe Quinn is someone who I look forward to see fail. I laugh when I read whatever madcap nonsense is coming from her twitter feed. I can usually count on finding some whiny post about depression (which is a real issue with real people who suffer, but using it as a crutch is sick) or the ex-boyfriend she cucked repeatedly. But today, I saw that the oldest and most venerated video gaming company decided to take a huge shit all over her and everything she stand for.

2016-06-22_17-16-599. Darksydephil (DSPGaming) Allegedly Caught Pleasuring Himself On Stream

Well, I can safely say I never thought I’d be making a post about a YouTube personality pleasuring themselves on stream, but that’s what it’s come to for my life. His name is Darksydephil and he’s apparently been a running joke among the YouTube community for quite some time. I say apparently because I don’t really keep up with YouTube dynamics that much and I certainly don’t follow the gaming sector personalities with any sort of dedication. I kind of just watch my vids here and there then get out. But hey, that’s just me.


8. Godfrey Elfwick Brilliantly Trolls Guardian With “Alt-Right Nearly Turned Me Racist” Column

This is one of the best trolls of 2016. I won’t put it at number 1 without much more thought, but I think it’s defintely in the Top 5. Master media manipulator Godfrey Elfwick just struck the British media once again, and this time the victim is the Guardian…

You and I can read it while obviously noting the trollish quality. But it sounds quite different to the “progressive” editors of the Guardian. They must have thought this was pure gold. So, of course, do I. But for a much different reason.

It’s fucking hilarious.

7. BREAKING: Milwaukee RIOT — BLM Terrorists SET GAS STATION ON FIRE, Pelt Journalists With Rocks

Not even journalists are safe on the streets of Milwaukee right now, and police are being targeted far worse as riots broke out across the city tonight.

UPDATE: Milwaukee Sheriff Clarke has requested the National Guard.


Controversial Nintendo employee Alison Rapp has been fired due to her arguably sick past…

From her own Twitter feed…


5. Amy Schumer Shames Fan Who Wanted a Picture, But it Turns Out She Lied

Amy Schumer just moves from one garbage fire to another. First, she took offense at a joke (told by a 17-year-old kid) that was clearly meant to be a take-off on her own brand of humor. Then she bizarrely called out Taylor Swift for having a “thigh gap.” And if that wasn’t shady enough, she’s also been accused of stealing jokes from a very revered and also very dead comedian, Patrice O’Neal. Oh, I left out the part about her crying due to being labeled plus-sized by Glamour magazine. The point is, as of late there’s a lot of bullshit to go around when it comes to Schumer.

Still, I had thought she had enough good sense not to attack common members of her audience, but I guess not. Yesterday, she put out an Instagram post which sought to shame a young black man for daring to take a photo while she paraded around in downtown Greenville, South Carolina. By the way, having lived in and around Sparatanburg for many years, I can tell you that downtown Greenville is very nice. If you ever in the area I would highly suggest that you check it out. So, I guess I can at least give her some small credit in that regard.


Just a massive list on this one, so excerpt doesn’t really work here. Click above if you want more…

3. BUSTED: AP & Clinton Caught Colluding For “Secret Win”

Last night, the Associated Press made a really controversial move by announcing that Clinton is now the “presumptive nominee”, a move which seemingly came out of nowhere — considering California’s primaries are today.

Many suspected that the move was due to collusion between AP and the Clinton camps, with the goal being to disenfranchise Bernie supporters in CA by making them think that resistance is futile. Everyone suspected the play, but nobody could prove it. Until people who received an official email from the Clinton camps looked at the name of the image in the email, and discovered some strange things.

2. COIN RUSH: Alison Rapp Appears to Have Been a Call Girl

Wow, I can’t get over this one. It was a lazy Saturday. I was busy editing a segment I did in lieu of the Killstream (which was pushed to tomorrow night). Then, another Alison Rapp bombshell came onto the horizon. (UPDATE: Her husband is in the same line of work. The ride never ends.)

It looks like she was (and still is) a call girl by the name of Maria Mint…


1. BREAKING: Hillary’s Handler Carrying Auto-Injector Syringe For Anti-Seizure Drug Diazepam

Twitter detectives found a new picture of Hillary’s handler — a mysterious man with what looks like a medical lapel-pin that follows Clinton everywhere she goes, helps her up stairs, and calms her down when she’s seizing up because of stress.


Honorable Mentions:

IT ENDS TONIGHT: Arthur Chu’s Wife Dumps Him, Has Marriage Dissolved

A FAMILY AFFAIR: Alison Rapp’s Husband Is Also a Sex Worker

Ghostbusters Star Leslie Jones Has Epic Twitter Meltdown, Goes Full Harambe! (UPDATES GALORE)

Social Autopsy Founder Unleashes On Zoe Quinn & Randi Harper

Microsoft’s New Twitter Bot Goes Full /pol/, Triggers Zoe Quinn