Confession Of a (News) Junkie

Confession Of a (News) Junkie

I have dabbled with many substances in my life. Marijuana, Xanax, alcohol, peanut M&M’s . The delicious foot-long sandwiches from the Arab store around the corner from my house. I could go on and on, but I think you catch my draft. I definitely have what is called is an addictive personality. It a little of something is good, then a bit must be great, right? Well, no, but that’s how my mind operates and it’s a constant struggle to keep it on track.

Something popped into that mind a little while again, the midst of 100% sobriety. OK, they do sell peanut M&M’s here, but I’ve only had one pack. The shit is more expensive than a pure Colombian cocaine. Anyway, the thought that occurred to me that all throughout my life, the one addiction I have always fed, no matter what, is my news habit. I still feed it, even now, but that lack of sources is real drowner.

I am limited to talk radio and the Washington Post, with the occasion broadcast thrown in (people prefer to watch movies). I still receive a good bit of information, so it’s not like I’m totally in the dark. But the difference between my current situation and then one I left is stark. How do people who follow world events like I do even get by without an internet connection? Does anyone do this willingly? I find that almost impossible to believe.

One stable and moderately fast internet connection, along with computer and headphones, gives a person access to million times more information than a newspaper and radio. Hell, throw in television as well. Most news programming in the United States is garbage anyway. What I wouldn’t give to be able to hop on Feedly right now and check all my favourite sources. It legitimately saddens me that I cannot.

Up until now. I’ve only been talking about legitimate news. What about rumours and tabloid fare? I love that stuff as well! I got almost none fit here, although thankfully my wife keeps me somewhat in the loop during the telephone calls. On a side note, she’s doing an fantastic job of making sure this site stays afloat and I love her so very dearly for that, among many other reason.

I’m just saying, the sooner I can get back on Twitter and see someone got rhetorically smacked around, the better. Even if that person’s myself, I don’t care. I will no longer take even that for granted.

Until then, I will sit here biding my time. As I write this, there is yet another notion invading consciousness. News never stops. Rumours never cease circulation. There will always be fresh smackdowns for me to revel in. And it’s all just around the corner.

The sooner, the better.

Ethan Ralph

Founder, Owner, & Editor-in-Chief of TheRalphRetort.com. Political fiend, gamer, & anti-bullshit.

  • ThatGuy

    We’re all waiting for you to come home Ralph. In the meantime, Nora is doing a fine job keeping the ship sailing.

    • Nora Ralph

      That really means a lot to me <3

      • ThatGuy

        You’ve always been cool in my book. =D

      • Typical

        Yeah, it’s been great now that you’ve implemented your site takeover plan the idiot trolls exposed a year ago….

  • Mr0303

    Those a re some interesting points. We’re in an age where information is easily available and the curious people will naturally seek it out at every opportunity. I myself don’t watch TV or listen to the radio, but rather get all my news online from multiple sources.

    That being said at times it becomes overwhelming to be constantly aware about everything all the time – it’s like trying to drink from a fire hydrant. This is why I use my holidays to get away from all technology – to give my brain some downtime, but after a while I want to be back in the stream of knowledge.

    Hopefully Ralph will use this time to get away from all that – he absolutely deserves it. Then he’ll come back with double the effort hungry for news. In the meantime we’re in Nora’s capable hands.

  • Celerity

    “The delicious foot-long sandwiches from the Arab store around the corner from my house”

    I always knew you were taking 12 inches of cultural appropriation.

  • Celerity

    On a serious note though, the difference between us and uninformed people is massive. I can ask normies about the wall and they won’t even know what I’m talking about. They’re not even repeating the fake news narrative, they have no news at all. Without real news I’d have never been red pilled. Internet’s just about mandatory.

  • Silence Dogood

    Stay strong Ralph! Information overload can really numb us to important things and can make trivial things seem more important than they really are. I utterly reject how the Amish live their lives (except for the quilts and the furniture – that shit is gold), but I can see a sliver of the value of the simplicity of it all.

  • Grust

    Hope you get out soon, Ralph.