New York Times SJW Attacks Super Mario Run, Says He Won’t Let Daughter Play it Because of Storyline

Merry Christmas all TRR readers…and to the haters and losers, as Donald Trump might say. I really don’t like writing today, but it’s been slow around here this week, so let’s do a few posts. The first thing I wanted to talk about is Super Mario Run, the new iPhone game from Nintendo. As a general rule, I don’t play games on my phone. It just feels, I don’t know, trashy. I have a PC, PS4, PSP, or the Wii U if I want to game. There have been a few exceptions with mobile stuff, but 99% of it is garbage…in my humble opinion. So, I had planned to skip the Mario outing as well, even though I recently got an iPhone for the first time ever.

That was before I read this article in The New York Times…

Unfortunately, despite Nintendo’s history and reputation, Super Mario Run is not a family-friendly game — or at least not one my wife and I will be letting our 6-year-old daughter play. The game is rife with stale, retrograde gender stereotypes — elements that were perhaps expected in 1985, when the first Super Mario Bros. was released in the United States, but that today are just embarrassing.

The idiot who wrote it, Chris Suellentrop, actually says it’s not family friendly. Mario isn’t family friendly. I can’t even get that through my head without laughing. The most family friendly franchise of all-time is now deemed “problematic” because of offenses like this…

Super Mario Run begins, as does almost every Super Mario title, with Princess Peach becoming a hostage who must be rescued by Mario. Just before her ritual kidnapping, Peach invites Mario to her castle and pledges to bake him a cake. Upon her rescue, she kisses Mario. The game also includes a second female character, Toadette, whose job is to wave a flag before and after a race, like a character from “Grease.”

By failing to update Super Mario for a contemporary audience, Nintendo is lagging far behind the Walt Disney Co., one of its closest American analogues. Disney’s film “Frozen” subverted and reinvigorated the fairy-tale princess movie; “The Force Awakens” gave us a female Jedi. Super Mario Run doesn’t even try.

In isolation, there’s nothing wrong with princesses or baking. My daughters love those things, too. But Super Mario Run relegates its female characters to positions of near helplessness. Peach and Toadette become playable only after you complete certain tasks, which makes the women in the game feel like prizes. (To be fair, the same is true of a few male characters.) Worse, should you then use Peach to defeat her kidnapper, Bowser, you’ll discover that neither Mario nor a kiss is waiting for her as a reward.

Nintendo refuses to change their stories to fit our “progressive” worldview! Fuck them, their game is dangerous for my children to play!

Who even thinks like this? I watched The Force Awakens and I enjoyed it. I didn’t get upset because they arguably tried to push some new story elements. So what? It was good. Plus, this is fucking Mario. You don’t play it for the storyline. Peach gets kidnapped, Mario goes to save her. Why should Miyamoto have to reinvent the wheel? It’s the most successful franchise of all-time, or at least one of the top 3. It makes no sense to try to push SJW bullshit into it.

Oh, and speaking of Miyamoto, Sue-Ellentrop decides to go at him for good measure….

Shigeru Miyamoto, the designer of Super Mario Bros. — as well as Donkey Kong, The Legend of Zelda and other landmark games — is frequently called the Walt Disney of video games. He may have a little too much Uncle Walt in him and not enough Hayao Miyazaki, whose Studio Ghibli movies like “My Neighbor Totoro” and “Spirited Away” are filled with adventurous young heroines.

Mr. Miyamoto told Wired this month that he was more involved with the design of Super Mario Run than that of any Mario game since 2007’s Super Mario Galaxy. That means that the only two Super Mario games that include a playable female character from the start — 1988’s Super Mario Bros. 2 and 2013’s spectacular Super Mario 3D World — were games in which Mr. Miyamoto was not directly involved with the level design.

There’s more in his whining, pathetic critique, but I can’t be bothered to go through anymore of it on Christmas Eve. I do plan to play some more Super Mario Run tonight, though. It’s surprisingly good. I’m not a huge fan of the “constant runner,” but there’s some cool elements in this outing and the controls are on-point (as with almost every Nintendo first-party game ever made). I definitely don’t have any problems with the storyline like this fucking pussy.

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Ethan Ralph

Founder, Owner, & Editor-in-Chief of TheRalphRetort.com. Political fiend, gamer, & anti-bullshit.

  • Blake Donohoo

    In another exciting episode of individuals who should not be allowed to breed…..

    • Flowey

      Too late 🙁 it already did.

      • fnd

        Not really, he is talking about his wife’s daughter :^)

        • Flowey

          My mistake

    • Alyssamhayes

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  • Flowey

    Everyday I have another reason to embrace the inevitability of death. Only sweet sweet oblivion can end my torment on this hellish planet. Why do SJW’s exist? Why do they keep breeding? How can a creature that has not only evolved a pair of thumbs, but also an enlarged brain and the cognitive ability to be aware of it’s very meagre existence, be so goddamn irrational? Ralph Why do those morons keep coming out of the woodwork? I wan’t off this crazy train.

    • Danlantic

      If they don’t reproduce at a replacement rate (at least 2 children) then they don’t reproduce. In that case they have to import a population — from Mexico. Curiously they think that a population of Syrian Moslems would be particularly educable into the SJW mindset.

    • “Why do SJW’s exist?”

      Because people ignored them 30 years ago. And the ones who tried to bring them up was told to “just ignore them”.

      They were always there, working behind the scenes in those women’s groups you didn’t hear much about.

      Now in 2016/2017, SJWs and feminists have completely infiltrated and are in complete control of all the biggest institutions and organisations such as entertainment media, mainstream media, academia, politics and government.

      Feminism is now a billion-dollar industry.

      So the men who ignored them can enjoy choking down those SJW turd sandwiches now. That’s where their gynocentrism has got them.

  • GodBowser

    If SJW’s are starting to find Super Mario Run problematic wait until the Bayonetta Amiibo finally gets released and they’ll definitely find that problematic

    [img]httphttp://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/bayonetta/images/a/a6/Bayonetta_SSB4.png/revision/latest?cb=20160222122038[/img]

    FUN FACT

    The character was designed by a woman named Mari Shimazaki witch is something that Anitard should have known about if she did some real research for her Tropes Vs Women in Video Games series

    • “The Bayonetta character was designed by a woman named Mari Shimazaki”

      That didn’t matter. From what I remember, the Anita brigade briefly went on to make the accusation that a male supervisor must have influenced her and that a woman would never design a female character like that of her own free will.

      Some even just completely dismissed the female designer and continued peddling the “it doesn’t change the fact that she is designed for the straight male gaze” excuse.

      Honestly, these whiners need to have their lives ended.

      • TheOnceAndFutureKing

        Its the “No True Scotsman” fallacy at its finest. If there is ever a woman or a non white male with a more conservative viewpoint, then they automatically don’t have any free will to think for themselves anymore.

  • Mouth

    Nothing is ever enough for these types. Devs could build a game to every SJW specification and the perpetually outraged would still bitch. They’re insufferable twats and the sooner creators stop paying attention to them the better. They should be openly mocked and scorned.

    Make the damn games the way you want. If it sells, great. If not, well, at least you created something and didn’t compromise. Making games that pander to identity politics is fucking moronic. The average gamer doesn’t give a shit about them and the ones that do can’t keep up with whats frowned upon from one day to the next.

    Fuck SJWs and their demon spawn.

    • I find it amusing that he’s using “Frozen” as a positive foil here, because at the height of it’s popularity there was a flood of SJW salt about the horrifically oppressive unrealistic body images on display, and the damage it was causing to young girls.

      Even if your work bends to their ideology, it’s never good enough- they will attack with more ferocity, having detected capitulation. And to add insult to injury, they’ll pull your work out of feminist purgatory from time to time as a ‘good example,’ and use it to bash something newer- before returning it to exile.

      Creators need to stop catering to such behavior.

      • “Creators need to stop catering to such behavior.”

        It’s actually not as simple as that now.

        We are actually seeing signs, especially in Hollywood and several Western games developers, that the creators themselves ARE SJWs who WANT to peddle feminism.

        • In my view, the best course of action is to make better entertainment, and begin building a new, decentralized, competitive market outside of the decrepit Hollywood shell.

          Giving ideological nutjobs blowback and critique for creating bad content? Sure- that’s how the free speech marketplace operates.

          But we’ve got to come back with better content, and start working to get a level playing field where merit, rather than institutions, determine cultural relevance.

  • Silence Dogood

    Progressives whining about video games just betrays their world view that entertainment media is propaganda for ideology.

    • DisneyVillain

      I’ve begun to think that the reason some game companies let Anita Sarkeesian (I’ve been calling her She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named because I felt she was losing relevancy and didn’t want to jinx it,) talk was to pay lip service to SJWs but really didn’t care about their ideology. An exception though is EA as they have a division dedicated to “diversity” according to Sargon’s of Akkad’s TWIS. Good thing I’m not much of a sports gamer and though I do have a PS4, I do a lot of retro gaming.

      Top two game companies that hate SJWs are: Rockstar games and CD Projekt.

      • “I’ve begun to think that the reason some game companies let Anita Sarkeesian talk was to pay lip service to SJWs but really didn’t care about their ideology.”

        I honestly beg to differ.

        If that’s the case, then why do these Western developers constantly pander to and cave into SJW demands? It’s been happening for 3-4 years for crying out loud.

        They should know by now that nothing bad actually happens if the mainstream games media and a bunch of feminist Tumblrtards badmouths their games over a bit of cleavage. In fact, they’ll actually get the backing and the entire support of gamers for sticking it to the SJWs, which has shown to increase sales.

        Yes you could argue that it’s just paying “lip service to SJWs”, but whether they actually care or not about the ideology is irrelevant. If they are peddling SJW ideology then that makes them SJWs as far as I’m concerned. People will not see whether they care or not about the ideology, what people will see is what comes out their mouths.

        • DisneyVillain

          You have a point. I was just trying to find a positive.

          • I know man, but in these times there are no positives whenever SJWs are involved.

            You should also know that Anita Sarkeesian’s Feminist Frequency videos are actually used as educational videos to indoctrinate children in schools. She may have “left” video games, but her work lives on. And then you have her ex-partner in crime Jonathan Mctinosh continously spewing how anything (i.e. Tracer lesbian) that caters to straight white male gamers is a big problem that needs to be fixed.

            So she’s left behind a right slew of feces that is going to take some cleaning up.

          • DisneyVillain

            McIntosh is not much of a threat on his own though. It’s why he needed Cuntessian in the first place. Hopefuly once Trump takes over, he’ll get rid of Common Core and we’ll be one step closer. But once SJWs are out of power, we should never stop debunking them.

          • jlenoconel

            Jonathan McIntosh has absolutely no power. You don’t have to give Anita or anyone power either. Do what I did, and buy a PC and play free or cheap games. Make better decisions when buying games, and you’ll be one step ahead, even if the game companies did decide to pander to SJWs.

        • jlenoconel

          If these devs/publishers want to continue to make money, they will soon learn that listening to SJWs will not help them. I bought a PC specifically so I could play more free and cheap games. Mainstream gaming sucks anyway.

  • Avenging Fox

    Mario’s little storyline embodies a tiny fragment of the correct mentality that males are supposed to protect females. Men are biologically more powerful than women. It has always been our place to do violence in the place of women.

    The little rescue the princess story is just a less serious way of expressing it.

    • It’s all about the “empowerment of wymmin” (at the expense of men) now. If it isn’t, you’re automatically a woman-hating sexist who wants to keep women down

  • ash

    That’s exactly why it’s a family friendly game because it does not include trannies, feminists, and other degenerate crap that don’t belong in the game anyways.

    Another reason NYT is losing credibility.

    • JasonC5

      Losing? It lost all credibility years ago when they started running with bullshit narratives to make “progressives” look good or less bad depending on circumstances.

  • RevDr. Robert Foster, AbC, EfG

    TFA was shit.

  • People who write this SJW garbage need to become obsolete.

    • DisneyVillain

      They already are, they just don’t know it yet.

      • I’ll believe it when these tossers are prevented from writing for the world’s biggest news media outlets

        • Watch the trajectories of the media outlets. It takes time to bring down a giant…

        • jlenoconel

          Just do what I do, and don’t read most of their garbage.

  • I get the feeling his 6-year-old daughter’s way more mature than he is. I can imagine a conversation between them going like:

    “Daddy, I want to play Super Mario Run!”
    “No honey. You can’t play it because princesses getting kidnapped are so imitable to a little girl like you.”
    “I don’t care about princesses, I just wanna play the game!”

    I really feel sad for how kids like this might grow up having complete nutjobs for parents. They’re one case where I think disrespecting your elders should actually be encouraged. Please, grow into your rebellious teen phases and never grow out of them.

    Also, this is seriously their criteria for letting someone write an article? A cuck who refused to let his kid play a game purely because of HIS whiny insecurities? But then again, I should expect at least this much from a publication that’s constantly kissing Anita Sarkeesian’s filthy ass.

    • DisneyVillain

      Even I’m more mature than the SJWs, and this is coming from a guy who idolizes the Joker.

  • Botiemaster

    So what he is saying is…females aren’t strong enough to handle Mario.

    I wonder if he took the time to play the game and beat it then use it as an opportunity to be a liberal weiner, or if he got that info from a third party for an opportunity to be a liberal weiner.

  • StephaneDumas

    How before someone do a videogame titled “SJW vs Cleveland Bus Driver”? (For those who wonder, here a vlog from 2012 about a Cleveland Bus driver who teached a lesson of life to a passenger
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RelP0yP95bE ) Imagine Cleveland Bus driver vs Aids Skrillex/Trigglypuff/etc…I think lots of people would have a good laugh. 😉

  • Pepperkeet

    What a cringey cuck….

  • DisneyVillain

    I hold an immense hatred for mobile gaming, but I honestly hope that Super Mario Run makes Nintendo a ton of money and gets a ton of love just to prove how irrelevant these assholes are.

  • Iso

    I’ve given Mario Run a go on my iTouch and now just waiting for an Android release really. Not sinking $10 (Or the £ equivalent) into the iTouch one really. seemed a good little game though.

    • Typical

      Where is everyone talking about paying all the time? Isn’t it free?

      • Iso

        You get the first 3 levels free and then it’s $10 or the (£) equivalent to get the rest of the levels.

        • Typical

          Oh. Lame. I wouldn’t pay for it.

  • TheOnceAndFutureKing

    I love how the article is trying to imply that the game’s success is being hindered by lacking SJW bullshit, yet its probably the best selling mobile game at the moment, so clearly many people with families don’t give a shit.

    Even the guy who wrote this doesn’t care, its just easy to be a sensationalist.

  • Kellen Joel

    First of all, Miyamoto’s Japanese, right? So isn’t this guy racist by his own standards for daring to disagree with a minority? Second, he seems to imply that Rey is the first female Jedi. She’s not, and if he was actually a fan of Star Wars, he’d no that. Also, if they’re trying to push female protagonists, Rogue One did it better. Third, he’s obviously full of shit, if he’s gonna bitch out a small, Iphone game.

    • Mr0303

      I think the Japanese were elevated to white for some reason.

      There were many female jedi, but I doubt his knowledge goes beyond the wiki on the main movies.

      Rey was a Mary Sue, Jyn was a bit better, but rather dull.

      • Kellen Joel

        Either way, Rogue One topped the Force Awakens in every way. But yeah, every time I’ve ever made a joke about Asians, I was called a racist, so I just assumed that they lumped all minorities together, as “Dindunuffins”.

        • Mr0303

          I too enjoyed Rogue One more than The Force Awakens – it was a more consistent movie, but still had the diversity agenda. Still – the Vader moments were awesome.

          • Kellen Joel

            Yeah. And I think it handled the “female empowerment” thing better.

  • Also Known As

    This is why they lost. They will continue to lose, they just don’t get it.

    And fuck the NYT for even publishing this garbage.

  • Mr0303

    It’s shit like this that keeps GamerGate alive. The SJWs who are in the base of the problem will always goes against popular things because they are always looking for something to complain about. I do think that in the end capitalism will win.

  • Typical

    What a fucking faggot.

  • BanPC

    I’m happy the Ralph watched that bullshiitt excuse for a star wars rip off. I watched the original as a small child and have seen it many times since. No need to watch a piss poor rehash of it.

    As far as the times goes, may it burn!