The Long Goodbye

The Long Goodbye

When I got into some trouble last summer, I had hoped to avoid going away for a stretch. I don’t think what I did is worth the punishment I ended up receiving, but that happens sometimes. It’s still my fault for putting myself in such a position, so I’ve refused to whine about it or shift the blame. This one is all on me. 

But the part about it that’s so grating on the nerves is the waiting. For many months, I knew this day was going to come. I looked toward it with dread and constantly thought about all the things I would miss. My wife, my mother, my friends, this very website. Hell, I will even miss the hate I get on a daily basis. The fateful moment is now upon me, though. There is no more deferral. 

I will say this clearly and plainly: I plan to push through the shitty hand I helped deal myself and come out stronger on the other side. 

I want to personally thank all you guys and gals who read this site on occasion. You have given me purpose and provided me with endless entertainment. It’s been a blast, even when it wasn’t a blast…if that makes any sense. Writing has become my life. I would not change that, even if I would change certain decisions I’ve made over the years, starting with that fateful one last August. 

The site will thankfully bcontinue in my absence. Seattle4Truth is going to be the managing editor. He is not me. We don’t agree on everything. But I’ve always enjoyed his work and friendship. I think he will do an excellent job. 

My beautiful and talented wife, Nora, will be the general manager. She’s going to run the YouTube channel and write a bit herself. I’ve spent many paragraphs extolling her virtues, so I believe you already know that I have 100% confidence in her abilities. I look forward to seeing the work she puts in. 

I want to contribute as well. The logistics of such a thing will be figured out in due time, but I definitely plan on doing so. These contributions will be a little different than my normal fare, longer and with more of a think piece style. Hopefully you guys will still enjoy it. 

Heavy hitters have continued to promote my work, even in the face of my personal failure. To Mike Cernovich, Paul Joseph Watson, Infowars, Vox Day (and his awesome wife), and many others, I say thank you. Also, thank you to Milo Yiannopoulos and Mister Metokur for giving me some of the spotlight back in the day. I think I’ve done some good work, but I truly do believe the best is yet to come. 

And with that, we have come to the conclusion. Have fun while I’m gone, people. Freedom is a gift that should never be taken for granted. Sometimes, you learn that the hard way. I will catch you guys on the other side, but until then, I hope you will continue to enjoy TheRalphRetort.com. 

It’s been one hell of a ride so far. I can’t wait to continue the journey when I get home. 

Ethan Ralph

Founder, Owner, & Editor-in-Chief of TheRalphRetort.com. Political fiend, gamer, & anti-bullshit.

  • GuitarAnthony
  • youareivan

    no drone shenanigans, you hear me! stay positive and it’ll be over soon enough.

  • Fatherless

    Be well old friend.

  • Mouth

    You’ll be missed. Hit me up if you need anything!

  • Lamont Cranston III

    How long are you going to be gone?

  • If you can figure out if your facility supports jPay or something like that, have that info forwarded along in case someone wants to drop something in your commissary.

  • Grust

    We’ll miss you, buddy.

  • Celerity

    #DicksOutForRalph

  • You’re on Milo’s Facebook page.

    Stay safe, Ethan. Me and your wife are going to start a GoFundMe for your canteen allowance, but I wouldn’t hold my breath thinking we’re gonna send YOU any of the money. You know Nora – always scamming and I have all those hookers and all that blow to buy …..

  • Akiel Straker

    Damn bro 😞. Stay safe and well see you on the other side, my dude.

  • Emil Åslund
  • Mr0303

    People keep saying that you’ll come out a radicalised muslim, but I personally think you’ll emerge with an 8-pack with “KILLS CUCKS” tattooed on your knuckles.

    Be safe, Ralph. The snowflakes should be afraid of your imminent return:

  • That Guy Who Goes There

    Just remember when they pull that switch man it’s all about the MAGA!! Praise Kek!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f4c6060c56cbce3f6406b9e7bb2b0775af051e20182522e201a0c8e30a302330.jpg

  • Mykeru

    Prison is a great place to become radicalised, if you have the time to try something new.

  • Best of luck in there. I can’t guarantee I’ll still be here when you get back…. I find I tend to move on from some places that I get bored of. However, regardless of what all the haters say about you, know that I’ve thus far never been inclined to dump you over your political views and/or your way of presenting them, as I did with MovieBob’s blog, and hopefully Nora and S4T will keep me coming in the meantime. As your self-appointed resident weeaboo, I await your return.

  • John

    Wait what happened? Where are you going and how long will it be?

  • RevDr. Robert Foster, AbC, EfG

    The next six months are gonna suck without you, bro.

  • Malcolm

    All the best Ethan. Keep well.

  • The Gator Gamer

    Remember to clean the shank after someone gets got. Blood is a corrosive.

  • Pat Patrix

    Do they have hamburgers in prison?