Wow, it feels good to be back on these pages. It’s been quite awhile! The last few times I’ve posted here I always find myself giving some variation of that intro, and it’s sad. Because the one thing that always reigns supreme for me is the written word. A lot of you motherfuckers can’t even read these days, so it’s much more lucrative to run my mouth on the internet. Nonetheless, this is my personal favorite when it comes to my online output.
The next natural question then would be, “Why doesn’t your fat ass write, then?” Well, like I said, I make more money running my mouth. But, it’s not just that. It takes time to write and I just don’t find myself having much of that these days. Two shows a day, five days a week. The setup for that, the prep for that…real life shit on top. You can quickly see how these things add up. Still, I’m making a promise to myself to come back here much more often.
I’m thinking of that Happy Gilmore scene now…
I won’t even mention the mythical book. OK, well, I guess I just did. Point is, I haven’t forgotten all the written word enthusiasts. I’m one of them myself.
Why am I here, again? I don’t think I’ve made that clear. I mentioned being a fan of writing. One of the reasons is because I always feel like it helps me clear my head a bit. It takes the jumbled up morass of bullshit that is my conscious mind and orders it, at least for a time. I find myself becoming more patient and more strategic the more that I write. I’m not sure if it’s like that for everyone, but I’ve certainly noticed it with myself.
Tweets do not count in the above calculation, which is one reason I took several days away from that platform. The other is because I think a break was needed for me to delineate the first part of 2021 from the end of the year. I’ve let people who are pieces of shit, quite frankly…people who have personally betrayed me…get way too much time on my own platform. They don’t deserve the acknowledgement and I think that part of the show has taken away too much time from the rest of it. The pie chart is out of whack, so to speak.
This is not even addressing the wild bullshit that’s made up by anonymous spergs on the daily. That’s certainly something I’m gonna be ignoring, too, going forward. I’ve had long stretches before where I’ve done just that. But it’s easy to get in the mindset of, “I need to correct this heinous lie, lest someone actually believe it.” But, truthfully, there’s so much outright fabrication and fanfiction from those sectors at this point that I don’t even think it matters. In fact, who gives a fuck anyway? I actually want those people to hate me, because I hate them as well. I often wish them dead, their family ruined, them out on the streets…just as all those things have been wished on me by that same mob. So, why even care? It makes no sense, logically. And for the few people who may be convinced by those idiots, the same thing applies. Eat shit and die.
So, stop sending me musings from the grifter lawyer who allegedly pimps out his wife to black dudes. I don’t care about the child pornographer who runs the fanfiction forum, unless it’s his arrest report or obituary. The twink down in Dallas who finally came out of the closet? Nah. Leave it. I have more important things to worry about. Like, the Killstream.
Speaking of that program, I will be returning on October 25th at 9:30PM EST. I’m still working on the upcoming guest list, but here’s what I have so far:
Tues, October 26th: Vito Gesualdi and Dick Masterson
Thur, October 28th: Tommy Sotomayor makes his Killstream Debut
Tues, November 2nd: Raging Dissident + Virginia Governor Election Night
Thur, November 4th: Nick Fuentes vs Styx – The China Question
Fri, November 5th: Adam Green vs Myles Poland – Is Christianity Jewish Propaganda?
Unfortunately, I’m not able to announce the reopening of Killstream.TV just yet. The site has been getting hit by attacks since August. Imavex, the people who work on behalf of our partners from SecureServer, detailed this in their own press release. These things happen, but this seems to be a deliberate attack on the Killstream itself, along with some of the other right wing creators who use SecureServer. We sent out a message and told people to change their passwords, etc. The bank said there was no danger from the “last 4” information, but some changed cards anyway, which I understand. I thought that would be enough, however the attackers have still been messing with some of the core functions of the site. So, the decision was made to take it down.
This has turned out to be more complex than originally thought because of the nature of the assault. I had a call on Thursday with SecureServer. They offered me the ability to break the contract I have with them, but said they hoped that I wouldn’t. It was then explained that it would take two weeks for them to get the site back up on the new solution. Given what they said and what I already have invested in the operation (not money-wise, just time and effort), I told them to go ahead with the fix. That’s where we are now. They also offered me a month’s refund, but I told them to add it onto the user’s subscriptions instead.
I’ll send another email out to subscribers later this evening.
Where does that leave us? Here, I guess. It’s been a long year. The stuff I talked about in the intro aren’t the only things that have gotten me off track. I also have some well documented disputes with unnamed parties in my personal life. I think I’ve spent way too much time on that stuff, too, at least as far as “in public” goes. Those things will continue to progress without me tweeting about it. I do have a criminal court date early next year, on a charge that most thought was already behind me. I expect to come out on top, because I’m not guilty. But, you never know how these things may turn out. Just to put it all out there, it’s a misdemeanor with an 11-month max. Absolute worst case scenario is out by Christmas 2022. Nothing like that would ever break me. I think most of you know it. But, those are the facts of the matter and it’s better, in my mind, to just put them out there.
Oh, before I go: Shoutout to my Mom. I miss her so much. The year has been…well, it’s the worst year of my life because of her passing. There’s just no getting around that. She could have went in a perfect manner and it still would have been the shittiest time ever. But, as I’ve talked about, that’s not what happened at all. For that reason, it’s been extra tough. She was stolen away from me through the neglect of others and I didn’t even get to be with her on the day she died. It’s something I can still barely comprehend. How could this have happened to me?
Fact is, it did. And I’m still here. There is nothing anyone mentioned in this post, obliquely or otherwise, could ever do to top that feeling. Honestly, there’s nothing in this life that could ever break me on such a level ever again. It’s kind of liberating in many respects. These people have no idea what hard times really are. A short bid in jail ain’t it and neither are f****** online making up bullshit. Getting a call in the middle of your show, asking for permission to put your Mother on a ventilator and initiate brain surgery? Yea, that’s it.
Another acknowledgement: May, who is carrying my child, has been a great, shining light in my life. She’s also put up with all my bullshit over the past year. AND, on top of that, she’s carrying my daughter and just hit 14 weeks. So, I would be remiss if I didn’t give her the proper credit as well.
See, not everything is shit. Also, ONE MORE shoutout to all the supporters, who most definitely are not shit. I’m still proud of our output this year and I hope you are as well. I took the last four days or so to recharge, which I know I don’t often do. I think it will be to the benefit of the show, though, and hopefully you will agree.
OK, OK, I’ll stop with the writing…for now.