I was in the middle of writing the movie review, when I was sent a link to a Randi Harper tweet where she talks about loving her gelatinousness. Having dealt with being overweight myself, I weighed in and said she hates being fat, and is just lying to the Twittersphere. Recently I’ve lost thirty pounds. By no means am I there yet. So it’s not about me hating fat people, because I still am one. It’s about being honest. 99% of fat people hate being fat. They don’t love it, no matter what you hear from them.
Randi couldn’t take this observation, and in the process, she gave me a hilarious story to tell all you morning readers.
I finally had to just put the Twitter Machine away, because I was having way too much fun. By the way, this outing is brought to you by “fat-shaming.”
Big Randi hates being fat. No fat people actually enjoy it, but lots lie to the crowd and say they do. #GamerGate pic.twitter.com/xu6mYSzeEc
— Ethan Ralph (@TheRalphRetort) May 30, 2015
There's people that accept being overweight, but they still hate it. That fatass model everyone keeps showing hates it too, guaranteed.
— Ethan Ralph (@TheRalphRetort) May 30, 2015
https://twitter.com/AdamBaldwin/status/604530835723722755
Here’s where it starts getting hilarious. Kiva Bay, from Feminist Deck Kickstarter fame, joins in soon, but we aren’t there yet. For now, it’s just Adam Baldwin and myself cracking on Randi’s galaxy-sized ass:
#beachbodyready? randi_ass.jpg. Keep harassing me, I'll send more. @AdamBaldwin @TheRalphRetort pic.twitter.com/TnRVD6Jzen
— squeaky taco (@randileeharper) May 30, 2015
https://twitter.com/AdamBaldwin/status/604533618287898624
.@freebsdgirl @AdamBaldwin hey Randi, I get a free month if I refer someone to Gold's Gym. Your cholesterol clogged arteries would thank you
— Ethan Ralph (@TheRalphRetort) May 30, 2015
@AdamBaldwin @TheRalphRetort @freebsdgirl pic.twitter.com/RlzV5oSveA
— Sketchy (@sketchydude) May 30, 2015
@Tupacca @TheRalphRetort @freebsdgirl @AdamBaldwin I don't think he goes to gold's gym as he claims
— Space Sloth❤️🖤 (@SharksOnCouches) May 30, 2015
@TheRalphRetort i'm sorry that you don't have my confidence. 🙁 i've seen your pictures, i know you must have a hard time. best of luck.
— squeaky taco (@randileeharper) May 30, 2015
.@SharksOnCouches @Tupacca @freebsdgirl @AdamBaldwin I'll take one in the actual gym tomorrow lol. pic.twitter.com/6Rbx3ysKUu
— Ethan Ralph (@TheRalphRetort) May 30, 2015
.@freebsdgirl a face like yours would be an expert on hard times, I'll admit. Just put down the Cheetos and funnel cakes and get it together
— Ethan Ralph (@TheRalphRetort) May 30, 2015
.@freebsdgirl Also, "you've seen my pictures?" No thanks, Randi. It's not gonna happen.
— Ethan Ralph (@TheRalphRetort) May 30, 2015
.@freebsdgirl Also, "you've seen my pictures?" No thanks, Randi. It's not gonna happen.
— Ethan Ralph (@TheRalphRetort) May 30, 2015
https://twitter.com/HiddenTara/status/604540017638150144
She says a bunch of other shit about not loving yourself, and some other garbage for her followers, but you get the idea. Many of their main comebacks seem to involve me being overweight. But I never claimed to be otherwise, and I’m not the one promoting obesity. Like I said in the open, I’m down thirty pounds. What is Randi doing besides sliding slice after slice down her throat? Nothing that I can see.
Just when I was about to wrap things up, Kiva Bay jumps in. I had actually been planning to write a short hit complimenting her cartoon in Polygon from a couple weeks back, in order to show that I can says nice things about quality work, no matter who does it. It was good, and I said so in a tweet:
.@KivaBay @freebsdgirl @EvvyKube @AdamBaldwin Hey, Kiva, when are you gonna do my avatar? Btw, nice cartoon about Papo & Yo, not joking lol
— Ethan Ralph (@TheRalphRetort) May 30, 2015
https://twitter.com/KivaBay/status/604543889110728704
.@KivaBay @freebsdgirl @EvvyKube @AdamBaldwin HAHA, I'll think about it. I'd probably do it for 30-40 just to have a laugh, but 100 is steep
— Ethan Ralph (@TheRalphRetort) May 30, 2015
https://twitter.com/KivaBay/status/604544731167653888
.@KivaBay Have you been hitting the bottle again, Kiva? I was trying to be civilized, but I should have known better.
— Ethan Ralph (@TheRalphRetort) May 30, 2015
.@KivaBay @freebsdgirl @EvvyKube @AdamBaldwin I don't see any fake journos. Leigh, Grayson, et al. aren't around tonight.
— Ethan Ralph (@TheRalphRetort) May 30, 2015
.@GaryLazer_Eyes @KivaBay We should give her an award… pic.twitter.com/OmGxjLFOAS
— Ethan Ralph (@TheRalphRetort) May 30, 2015
.@KivaBay @actionaeon Just like an SJW to offer a crooked bargain. An honest day's work is foreign to them.
— Ethan Ralph (@TheRalphRetort) May 30, 2015
I thought that was it, but it wasn’t. There was still one last grand finale of SJW insanity:
Comedy gold tonight #GamerGate pic.twitter.com/k9acLZKbLQ
— Ethan Ralph (@TheRalphRetort) May 30, 2015
PLEASE SILENCE MY IDEOLOGICAL OPPONENTS ASAP!!#GamerGate pic.twitter.com/hidi9Qi0p3
— Ethan Ralph (@TheRalphRetort) May 30, 2015
You fucks started the mudslinging and now you cry. Too fucking bad. Next time, don't shit on gamers. #GamerGate pic.twitter.com/z09lbJbjpH
— Ethan Ralph (@TheRalphRetort) May 30, 2015
I think that’s a pretty good recap. Feel free to add your own takes if you saw this live, or have some thoughts on this comedy. The SJWs are so fucking sensitive, and Adam Baldwin lives in their head rent-free. His tweet is really what set Randi and her hate mob off. I was having a blast with the whole thing, just like Mr. Baldwin, I would assume.
Another night of hilarity, courtesy of GamerGate.
Thanks again to @freebsdgirl, for giving my readers something to enjoy when they wake up in the morning. #GamerGate pic.twitter.com/4tcGOVgh8R
— Ethan Ralph (@TheRalphRetort) May 30, 2015
P.S. You may want to worry about Milo, cause he’s coming hard…
Christmas is coming early…#GamerGate pic.twitter.com/lxXVqkR2YL
— Ethan Ralph (@TheRalphRetort) May 30, 2015