Welcome to another week of shitposting here on TheRalphRetort.com. I spent most of yesterday watching wrestling, which doesn’t lend itself to productivity. Thankfully, my readers send me interesting stuff all the time. Last night was one of those times.

I’ll let the email give it to you before I take over…


Long time reader here. I know this isn’t your normal kind of story, but I think you might be interested in doing something with it as it involves a Marine and there’s a solid chance several other veterans might have been scammed by him and it’s important to get the word out.

Michael A. Kocher is a veteran marine. A year ago he posted on this gofundme here that he had been diagnosed with cancer and given 18 months to live:


He’s also posted about it on a site called beach grit along with his experiences being a marine:


Today it’s turned out it’s all been a lie. Since he has been charged with drug dealing and distribution, he’s now come clean about his main scam on Facebook.

So, I guess would be one of those scam alert kind of posts. Well, it would be, except this guy is going to jail for a very long time, according to his Facebook. Of course, this is the same guy that has been telling extremely hurtful lies, so maybe we should wait and see just to be sure.

KocherConfession1 KocherConfession2

I don’t have much sympathy for a guy like this and I feel safe in saying that most of you likely feel the same. For one, he hurt his friends, family, and pretty much everyone else around him. But not only that, he also hurt the people who have real illnesses that need help in order to get by. This scumbag didn’t need help, he just wanted more heroin. I don’t care if you use drugs at all, but when you have to steal people’s money in order to do it, that’s when I take issue with your actions.

KocherGoFundMe1 KocherGoFundMe2

I will give him some kind of credit for coming clean, but only a small amount. As some of his Facebook friends said, it’s hard to take anything this guy says seriously anymore. It might be the beginnings of another scam.

As we’ve seen recently, you should be very careful when donating to these kinds of projects. This is yet another example.

  1. I know a woman who did this a few years ago and ended up with a similar fate after the rumors started flying. I forget how much time she got but I think it was around 7 years. Her situation involved the big H too, that drug is the most destructive thing I’ve ever seen. It’s sad weed is lumped in with that shit.

    1. Please. We now have the opposite with weed being promulgated as a miracle cure all snake oil. It cures everything! From cancer to arthritis!

      Only it doesn’t cure anything. It just makes people who are sick feel better,but then so does a hot Tottie. That doesn’t mean you tout it as a serious cure.

      1. I don’t care if it cures shit, I thinks it’s great and it makes sex, which is already super fun like 3 times more fun!!

  2. I swear sometime between 2007 and now the world went mad in regards to the internet and it had to do with every Tom, Dick and Harry getting onto the thing. Back when I started in the late 1990s nobody ever used their real name and if anyone did so or started begging anyone else for money they were hissed and booed at and reviled as scam artists.

    2016 internet is a clusterfuck of assholes all selling magical elixirs that’ll cure your humors of the rumatiz and the devilwinks. Ultimately this too shall pass and people should eventually get wise but as Jim was pointing out lately it’s pretty pathetic how people seem to become ten times as gullable when they’re up against the internet.

  3. Maybe a part of the problem lies with the whole “all veterans are heroes” lie we keep wanting to believe. Hell, I’m a veteran, but I didn’t do shit but tell a lot of dick jokes for 10 years. I was never in any danger, it wasn’t anything more than another job to me, and I certainly don’t agree with the flag waving bullshit brigade that wants to deify us.

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