I’ve been sitting here for days trying to figure out how someone could be stupid enough to give Tim Schafer money (even if it’s for Psychonauts 2) after all the dirt he’s done over his career. It’s true, you do have to give him some credit for past glories. But recently, he’s done nothing but shit on gamers and put out incomplete games. I’ll just go ahead and say it as simply as I know how: If you give this conman money, you deserve to get gypped.

In case you’re wondering why I say that, let me dip into the Ralph Retort archives and explain it to you that way. From February 17th of this year

[W]hen I saw him trashing gamers, I was automatically thinking “this guy can go fuck himself.” And he was literally one of the first big names I remember talking a ton of shit. I highlighted one of those tweets a couple weeks ago on Twitter. The fucker is just downright offensive.

So why does Peter Molyneux get raked over the coals, but a fat spendthrift like Schafer escapes scrutiny? Well, it’s simple: he’s part of the SJW Good Ole Freaks network.


Also, we can’t forget about Spacebase DF-9. What a fucking ripoff. This is why I say that dumbasses who trust him again deserve everything they get. By the way, people are actually giving money to this piece of shit. The Fig crowdfund has almost $2.7 million raised so far out of a $3.3 million dollar goal. Knowing this bastard, he’s going to come back and ask for more later. We know that he has no idea how to manage money properly. How badly will he fuck people over this time?

Oh yea, he’s also an insulting prick who likes to shit all over gamers. From March 5th of this year

I was just talking about all this on Twitter, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I was too easy on Tim Schafer. This really shouldn’t be described as a mocking. He was just flat out lying about NotYourShield. Mocking would have been him making fun of them for supporting GamerGate, or something. That’s not what he did. He tried to erase them. If you’re a minority or a woman, and you don’t toe the SJW line, then you will be spit upon and/or ignored by their propaganda pushers. It’s sickening.

Oh yea! He also backed the bullshit Nightline report featuring the fraudulent Anita Sarkeesian. As a matter of fact, he was actually in the piece himself

Speaking of phonies, noted crook Tim Schafer stopped by to add in some asinine shit about having female characters to choose when selecting user characters. I’m hesitant to even post it, because it’s so fucking stupid. DEAR TIM: I don’t fucking care about that at all. The thing I care about in that regard, is people making a big issue about it for every single game, regardless of the story the creators are trying to tell. These things change naturally, not through mandate. Anyway, here is the washed up phony himself:

“Developer Tim Schafer said the lack of playable characters for his daughter inspired him to look at this own games. “Almost every game I’ve worked on, we’ve given at least the option to play a female character,” he said. “Once you’re conscious of it, it’s really hard to un-ring that bell.”

So, to recap, if you give this flaming piece of alley trash any of your hard-earned money, you’re a fucking dumbass who deserves to get fucked over. Don’t fall for this guy’s bullshit. He has almost 30 days to raise the rest of his money, so I’m all but certain he will get this cash. I can hardly believe it, but then again, there are a lot of stupid motherfuckers in this world. We’ll be watching and waiting for him to fuck-up, though. Given his track record, that is all but certain as well.

  1. I still can’t believe that con man thief actually called it “gamers gate” and said it was proof of a rape culture. Perfect example of someone spewing ultra radical talking points to distract from their own malfeasance.

  2. Gaming’s going to shit. EA has exclusivity rights to Star Wars, Bungie is Partnered with Activision, Foreign developers are censoring their games for pantywaists that weren’t even gonna buy their games and Microtransactions age becoming the norm because regardless what true gamers do to stop it, the bros and stupid kids won’t stop buying the shit. Not to mention Nostalgia junkies that keep shelling out money to Tim Schaefer.
    Oh, and we can’t forget that Chris Robert’s Star Citizen just passed $100 million DESPITE the evidence of monetary mismanagement and the fact that even after being in production for 3 years and 2 ALPHA RELEASES that it’s still a disastrous mess. Robertson’s idea is simply too ambitious, and if you’ve ever heard him try to pitch the game, you can tell he doesn’t have a solid foundation and doesn’t even know where he’s going.

    1. Star Citizen is eventually going to be the best contemporary strategy game ever released – 1000 years from now.

    2. >DESPITE the evidence of monetary mismanagement

      There was none. There was just the claims of some ex-employees, reprinted by The Escapist. Nothing else. No financial documents, no emails, literally nothing to prove their claims beyond pay stubs proving them to be ex-CIG employees. Then there was the word of Roberts and other CIG employees calling the claims falsehoods. Until there’s documented proof of those claims being true, it’s innocent until proven guilty.

      Pretty much exactly like the “evidence” that GamerGate sent that university threat to Sarkeesian. No proof whatsoever of GG being in any way responsible for it, beyond Sarkeesian and her sycophants saying it was so.

        1. And this guy’s argument (around 2 minutes) is “well there’s some detail to the claims, so they must be true!”.

          Beyond that, he just complains about the fans and popularity. He blames the company for people spending money on pledge packages, and then wildly guesses that they continued ship concept sales because they need cash. No evidence to back that up, of course.

          Then he says “no don’t you be asking for financial evidence, keep believing me!”, and then goes for the kafkatrapping “their efforts to defend themselves is just proof of their guilt!”

          This was even worse than Smart’s arguments.

          1. Alright, this is clearly getting out of hand. All i meant was there appears to be shady shit going on that i would have thought would have more people asking questions. If i would have 100% believed the claim, i would have said “DESPITE the fact there’s monetary mismanagement” instead of “DESPITE the evidence of monetary mismanagement” I’m not claiming they’re guilty, I’m merely speculating LIKE MOST PEOPLE. There’s no proof of mismanagement, but at the same time there’s not been any proof provided to counter the claim since it arose, and until either side provides some other than words, it’s a question that’s not going away.

          2. The thing is, when you say “DESPITE the evidence of monetary mismanagement”, you’re still quite clearly stating that there is evidence of it happening. As you said, there’s no proof of it, meaning there’s no evidence.

            What I think you were trying to get at is “despite the accusations of monetary mismanagement”. Which is party why people continue to fund it, because it’s at the “baseless accusation” level of proof, and are going with the “innocent until proven guilty” route. The accusers have to prove their accusations, CIG doesn’t have to disprove them until then. If the accusations suddenly had evidence provided, then it’d be on CIG to provide a defense.

            Also, the pre-alphas were released to test the game, as according to the original purpose of an alpha. They were not supposed to be polished, completed products. I know that other devs have corrupted the meaning to mean “somewhat-complete product that I’ll patch on occasion while selling it as a full game”. The game started production 3 years ago with a fairly small team in one spot, now they’ve got way more employees in different studios across the world. Production started slowly and picked up. To throw Skyrim out as an example, it took Bethesda more than 4 years to develop this, starting off with a full developer team and all the funds provided. They’re not taking inordinately long. It’s just that most games don’t get announced more than a year or so ahead of their scheduled release.

            The first pre-alpha that ended up as Arena Commander built up all of the flight, space, and ship structure. Which means they can just carry it all over to Squadron 42 and the persistent universe. The framework’s built up, then it’s all integrated. When it’s integrated, then it looks like there’s been a big leap forward, like with the 2.0PTU release last week.

            Also, you need to do your own research into the game. Wherever you’ve been getting info has been making some pretty major errors. It’s directed by Roberts, not “Robertson”, there was never at any point going to be a console port, they’re building the game using the top-tier tech of right now (so going obsolete wouldn’t be an issue for several years), and the single-player game is set to release in 2016, and the persistent multiplayer universe in 2017.

          3. Then i apologize for the entire section related to Star Citizen. With Thanksgiving last month and Christmas coming up, we’ve been working a lot of 12’s at the plant I’m at and I’ve really not had a lot of time to keep up with the everything. All my info was old, outdated and some even later proven incorrect and i didn’t know about it. Also, i was putting Roberts but my phone kept auto-correcting it.

    3. AAA will die or not depending on how long the con job will persist (DLC where mods used to be the norm, season passes instead of expansions paid for on delivery, forced online instead of optional co-op/multiplayer), there are good indie games out there but unless they are supported and carefully budgeted then not enough of them will get the sales or reputation they deserve.

      1. That is correct. Part of the issue however is that Robertson keeps making promises. This is already the most ambitious undertaking of a game we’ve seen, and one that’s not being sponsored by a publisher but the consumer. The game was already supposed to be enormous BEFORE Robertson and his team kept adding backer requests. It’s 3 years in, from my understanding the ORIGINAL expected release date was last month (I’m unsure, I’ve just heard a few people mention it) and it’s still in the early alpha stage. At this rate, ASSUMING that $100 million pays for a full staff, all of the costs and there are no further major setbacks, a game this size i could see taking anywhere from 7-12 years if it ever actually sees the light of day. Their biggest challenge however in my opinion is, assuming it actually does take that long, what are they going to do when their tech and resources are outdated? This game is mainly for PC but it’s supposed to be coming out on the PS4, which is already 2 years into its life cycle, so by the time this game drops, this console generation will either be on its deathbed or already 6 ft. under.

        1. I asked a friend of mine who is into this. The Alpha is in it’s last stage now (2.0 just went live) and MP BETA should be next year (when I do not know) but the Single player is ready to launch in 2016. Some MMORPGs take 8 years before they hit the market. Just loot at fallout 4. Fallout 3 came out in 2008. That’s 5-6 years for at single player only openworld game. MMORPG’s takes like 8 years to make. Yeah it’s a long time, but it seems normal for such a big game. I think it’s more about that we are used to get games fast. But for the most part those games a copy paste, boring and without innovation whatsoever.

          PS. As fare as I could understand there has not been talk about any PS4 or Xbox One port at all. This game is made for PC only.

          1. I knew there wasn’t an Xbox version slated, but I’d heard some friends talking about it coming to PS4. After looking at a few articles and forum posts, it appears you’re right and this was just a hopeful rumor a few fans pushed REALLY hard.

          2. It would be great if it did. But the recommended Specs for the PC demands a BEAST of a PC. Intel i7 or AMD FX-9590 CPU and AMD 300 series or Nvidia 900 (970-980 ti) series GPUs. That’s a lot of horse power and a lot of money and I don’t think the consoles we have now would be bale to run it. most games (unless they remaster games from PS3 or PS2) on PS4 and Xbox One can’t even 1080p and 60 FPS at the same time :/

  3. I gotta wonder: what are the odds that a casual will even hear about Schafer’s latest money sink compared to the odds of hearing about what an unreliable scumbag he’s been in regards to crowdfunding? Though if it’s not uninformed casuals giving him all that money, it’s probably just people who want Psychonauts 2 so bad that they’re willing to make a gamble (it’s really not worth it so far as I’m concerned, but granted, I never played the original to know how desperate some fans must be).

          1. Deadlines must be another construct of the patriarchy…

            DOWN WITH DEADLINES! They are triggering. Deadlines must be ended by January 1st at the absolute latest.

  4. Ugh I remember that mess. I’m a sucker for space base building games, think star-topia, Can’t believe how jipped I got. Didn’t do Broken Age and never played Psychonauts but the way he acted, it’s pre- DA:I EA for me, avoid Double Fine. too bad too, was looking at Costume Quest, looked interesting. Grim Fandango too.

    1. To put it plainly, if his head gets any bigger, they’re gonna need to replace all the doors at double fine with proximity garage doors.

  5. I have been VERY lucky because I have never played a Tim Schafer game, ever. I have never given money to the fat fuck, and will continue making myself happy by not doing so. 😀 but a problem I have is I want to play Costume Quest but I am very scared to give Tim any money just because how this asshole is. Is there a way I can maybe get Costume Quest (WITHOUT PIRATING) the game? -_-

  6. Indie games mostly suck balls, the only ones that I really enjoyed were Brothers, Sine Mora and The Cat Lady. I tried the Psychonauts demo and meh.

    At least it’s an arena for hipster trash to release their never ending stream of platformers and walking sims, that way they keep their shitty ideas and politics mostly out of AAA.

  7. Fuck Tim Shafter, Shyster, piece of shit Schafer. He can ask his dirty hipster fucktards to get him his cool aid.

  8. I LOVED Psychonauts, despite gameplay issues and a ridiculously-changing difficulty curve (maybe the worst I’ve ever seen, actually). I have tried to sell anyone that will listen on it since playing it for the first time.

    AMAZING, ludicrous, but most of all FUN game.

    But FUCK Tim S now. Fuck him in the arse with Anita’s over-huge clit.

    If I’d not know Tim S was involved in shitty Anti-GG idiocy, I might have contributed… heavily.


    I’m blocked by him on Twitter without ever even have interacted with him.

    You don’t want me as a fan? FUCK YOU, Shafer. You sure as fuck ain’t getting me as a MOTHERCUCKING BACKER!

  9. This guy seems to be up there with Phil Fish. What a scumbag to attack his own fans who play his games. I for one will not play any of his shitty games nor give him any cash.

  10. Even if we ignore all the previous crap that he did (which I don’t think we should), there are some massive problems with the new campaign. For one Fig’s founder Justin Bailey was a COO at Double Fine and Tim Schafer himself is on the advisory board. If that is not a conflict of interest I don’t know what it.

    If this new project violates any of the supposed rules, no one will be able to call it out and it would likely be hidden. I’m disappointed that so many people are so gullible and uninformed and are giving Schafer money.

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