We’ve talked about a lot of sketchy characters here at TheRalphRetort.com. One day, I should do a greatest hits column. Anita, Leigh Alexander, Big Randi, Wacky Wu, & Crazy Chu…the list is goes on and on. But some of these people are just scammers. They may believe what they’re saying, or they may not. The end goal is simply to get paid. Just look at Ms. Alexander from the other day, for example. One person has always struck me as a true believer, though. Not just that, he’s so far gone that even some other true believers are like, “Damn, this guy is fucking nuts.” I no longer think it’s an exaggeration.

Jonathan McIntosh is crazier than a shithouse rat.

Look at the insanity he was spewing about Batman and Tomb Raider:

That’s not what they’re doing, Jihad Jon. They’re talking about the game, dipshit. No one is saying go out an be Batman in your real life. What the hell are you even going on about? It’s a work of fiction. Anyone with half a brain knows that they shouldn’t try to imitate Batman, even if that were a possibility. #FullMcIntosh didn’t stop there, however. Next, he went in on Tomb Raider:XmcQlJXUAZoKXCJq4TCDo (1)I feel like I’m talking to some non-wrestling fan who keeps telling me it’s not real. I know it’s not real, you stupid fucker. Neither are all the dumbass TV shows you watch. The same goes for this. We know the games aren’t real. They shouldn’t be the basis for real-life actions. Now, you might use the themes from them to inspire yourself, but that’s about as far as it goes. I’ve played Tomb Raider, and it was fantastic. I even bought the PS4 edition to playthrough again (although I haven’t yet). Never once did I think about scaling towers or shooing someone in the neck with an arrow in my day-to-day existence. Might there be a minuscule number idiots who do emulate fiction in real life? Yes. But imbeciles can’t be the deciding factor in what the overwhelming majority is allowed to consume.


Here's a fellow SJW trashing him.
Here’s a fellow SJW trashing him.

As someone said last night, McIntosh is doubling down on stupidity. It’s the only act he knows. Unless he’s tweeting from Anita’s account, most people just laugh at him anyway. Imagine how emasculating that must feel. He’s a hack and a joke who has to hide behind a woman’s skirt to get any play at all. When she flames out, his entire career with be done as well. I guess he can go back to making anti-American art and/or hating on the troops. There will always be a market for that kind of trash.

  1. McIntosh should team up with Dave Grossman to realize the full potential of their video game hate.

      1. Dont forget. These are the people who would defend each other if someone ended up cheating. Just look at Zoe Quinn thing. They try to hide it and push the.. disgruntled boyfriend part. Totaly ignoring that she admited she cheated. With 5, maybe even more.. Her own words.

  2. Not even when Anita flames out, Ralph. All she has to do is run into someone better than him and it’s liberating as a woman for her to be able to choose who she wants to be with, which will lead to massive butthurt from Jon who will go quiet for a while trying to make excuses for her cheating on/leaving him.

    1. I’ve always had the feeling that once he starts becoming a liability she’ll kick him to the curb.

      1. And then she’ll fall almost instantly, because she has no clue how to do anything feminist besides read his scripts.

        The instant he goes under the bus, the instant she’s next in line.

  3. I love our SJW dude here: “he’s only significant as people make him at this point”

    Ehhh i’m sorry man but Joshatash = Anita so he is as relevant to the discussion as she is. And guess who put Anita (so him too) on the pedestal? Sure not the gamers.
    So, its not our fault if your idols have a single digit IQ.
    Deal with it.

  4. I really wish someone had given me a similar warning before I went traipsing across the country side in medieval plate armor slaying dragons. No one ever warned me how dangerous and unsafe it was. Flying around the universe and fighting pirates in my spaceship is much safer, but even that is a bit on the dangerous side too.

  5. For fuck sake Jon put on the wig and lipstick before acting like idiot or else people will not believe that your are Anita.

    1. Oh my god have we ever actually seen those two in the same room? I’m actually kind of curious about that because that would be hilarious if it turns out that was true.

  6. This has to be some kind of Andy Kaufman-level trolling. There is no way that a fully grown man can actually believe that perfectly sane people are playing Tomb Raider and thinking, “Gosh, I need to go out and climb the Himalayas with my bare hands!”.

    1. ,,,if it were, Weev would never regain top troll status again,,,th’ epic cuckylisciousness of it alone would create a cringe black-hole 9000 miles across..,

  7. Alas, Knifehorse is right, but not in the way he thinks. GamerGate making a big show of Mcintosh’s idiocy is the least of the problems with him. The real problem, which is a big part of WHY we make a show of his idiocy, is that he’s found financial support from idiots in places like the games press and Intel, who jump in bed with his little puppet to make themselves appear on the right side of history. Mcintosh is getting mocked, perhaps indeed to the point of celebration, but the more important thing is he’s getting EXPOSED. He needs to continue being exposed, because few consumers would stand with FemFreq anymore if they knew he was pulling strings there.

  8. Ye gods, #FullMac. Could you not recycle the same stale arguments that Pat Pulling was making about D&D and other tabletop games back in the 80’s? Holy shit. Truly, there is nothing new under the sun.

  9. All these tweets suggest to me is that McIntosh isn’t positioning himself as an authority. He’s a preacher. He doesn’t seem to be trying to add to any discourse on gaming and culture, but instead trying to appeal to his zealots and tell them the Bad Things to hate.

    Has he ever tweeted anything about the joy games bring him? I don’t care which games he likes, but has he ever actually celebrated anything in gaming? Genuine question, as I don’t twitter anymore.

    If not then I am only further convinced he’s some puritan dipshit who should be ignored along with the projects he works on.

    1. Considering how many times he’s been proven wrong about old games (the Wolfenstein BTFO comes to mind), I don’t think he was ever really a gamer, he just uses that as a way to try and come off as an authority.

  10. They say there’s a fine line between Genius and Insanity, and that the line is blurred.

    For Micintosh… not only is that line defined, but he fell off into the insanity side ages ago.

    Seriously, these guys just piss me off, the only ones who know games aren’t real are these locos. Damn these hipsters, damn them all! -shakes fist-

    -clears throat-

    That being said, remember when he talked about the 25 (well, it was more like 15) privileges that all guy gamers have? If there’s someone who’s an expert on privileges, then look no further than this idiot, he came from an extremely wealthy family and doesn’t even know of the plights of the world – Or if he does, he has an extremely skewed version of them. That video was stupid, having Adam Sessler and Time Schafer (this was before the whole sock puppet fiasco, I believe), I used to look up to them, Sessler having a dream job and Schafer had made some of my favorite games when I was a kid.

    Seeing them in that video was like a punch to the stomach.

    Just when will this stuff end?

    1. Yeah, Sessler, Schafer, CliffyB, and the list of fallen heroes goes on and on.

      Thankfully, before all of this I never heard of Sessler. But I was a fan of Schafer and CliffyB until they decided to open their mouths.

      Today, my heroes are as follows: CD Projekt Red, Daniel Vavra.

      1. CliffyB has always been a jackass, though. I never liked the guy. He was a douchebag in the UT days, then he shat on PC gamers and claimed xbox was the future while doing Gears, now he’s trying to act like that never happened and come back to PC… while talking like an SJW.

        Fuck CliffyB.

        1. lol, I was a fan in the Jazz Jackrabbit days, and was blissfully unaware during the UT days – what pisses me off most is that he takes so much credit for the Unreal / UT series when he really didn’t do a whole lot towards development – he was just a mid-level project manager with some veto power.

      2. Sessler was part of X-Play, a video game television show akin to what people like Angry Joe does. Instill jokes and small skits. I wanted to have that job when I was a little kid. But, seeing how he turned out, I wasn’t so sure any more.

  11. ,,,I never thought I’d ever see a guy who hated his own boners he gets so much,,,I wonder if he actually does th’ Opus Dei Albino Assassin one better than a mere thigh-scratcher, and ritualistically self-harms his own tallywhacker like it’s a terror suspect in a Black Site CIA prison at an undisclosed location in Eastern Europe and he’s hell-bent on some serious own-cock enhanced interrogation,,, needle-nose pliers? ,,,check,,,,glass urethra tubes to snap and break after insertion? ,,,check,,,Journey CD?,,,check…

      1. Dude… I love that song, I watch it every now and again, and the whole thing is always hysterically funny.

  12. At first I thought he was a fun amusement but this man is really starting to piss me off. I feel like this guy is my personal nemesis. I saw the other day he was talking about how escapism is a right wing philosophy…..ok first off that is stupid, second even if that is true why is that a bad thing? I am really getting sick of how being right wing is viewed as bad. This whole using right wing as an insult and some how making it where your opinion doesn’t count. The political party system is not black and white. There is no good or evil. Both sides have their good points and both sides have their fair share of idiots. Not to mention he wants every man to be as miserable as he is even though he is a rich bastard. Now onto my full rant. Fuck you McIntosh. What the hell is wrong with escapism? I’ll be blunt here the world sucks. It really does. Because of that I need time to escape the real world and go somewhere else. The reason why I enjoy films like Lord of the Rings, Pacific Rim, Star Wars, Harry Potter, and all that stuff is because it allows me to go a different place and forget my problems. I also want to be a film maker or at least a writer. Working on a script right now with a werewolf battling a sorcerer. Why? Because why the fuck not! If I ever see this bastard in person I’m punching him in the face. And if I ever do get to make my movies and he is still around to bitch about it I’ll send him a personal fuck you.

    1. You need to embrace a new paradigm. Don’t let yourself get sucked into ‘liberal vs conservative’ or ‘right vs left’. The real division is between those who want to be free, versus those who want to be masters. Autonomists versus statists, if you will.

      1. Autonomists versus statists, if you will.

        Libertarian vs Authoritarian is better.

        Doesn’t need to be a state to take your freedom, corporation, cult, family, they can all fuck you over for themselves.

    2. “Working on a script right now with a werewolf battling a sorcerer.”

      I hope this gets made someday because it sounds fucking awesome.

      1. Trying to work on this big fantasy saga. I’m not getting paid for it this is just me writing it down for my own amusement and maybe use it in a job interview. But yes if I ever get my dream of becoming a director that will definitely be on the list 🙂

  13. It’s funny watching other SJWs try to distance themselves from him. Hey dumbasses, your princess and object of adoration Anita believes all the same shit, you know.

  14. My theory is that in his mind, he sees himself as a pioneer of progressive thought. A misunderstood genius who is just ahead of his time. He is mocked now, but just wait a few decades and his brilliance will be recognized.

    Problem is, there isn’t really anything else to discover when it comes to social justice. Not that there was anything to discover in the first place. They have just made all this shit up anyway without worrying about silly things like “facts” or “evidence” to support their ideology. So, at this point, social justice is pretty set in it’s way. They’ve got their narrative outlined. They’ve got all their talking points and buzzwords memorized. Now they are basically just playing mad libs.

    (group who is perceived to have power, default setting :white men) need to check their privilege and stop invalidating the lived experiences of (group who is perceived to be oppressed)

    You get the gist. I actually wanted to keep going but realized I would spend WAY too much time on it right now. Next time I am bored I think I’ll see if I can write a full fledged SJW mad lib that goes on for 1000 words or so. But I digress….

    The point I am trying to make is McIntosh desperately wants to say something different, unique, and original. He can’t paint himself as a pioneer and a leader of this very important and totally legitimate movement if he is just saying the same things as his followers. So he dreams up this nonsense and thinks it’s genius because no one else is saying it. Of course his bullshit falls apart if you analyze it or think critically about it for a millisecond. Locking your brain in an echo chamber of perpetual validation with your fellow mental defectives could cause you to forget that there is a huge world out there, beyond the evil googlygoblins, who aren’t going to clap for you every time you take a shit.

    So yes Mr. McIntosh, you are being original and fresh when you say game trailers literally tell you to imitate these things in real life. You certainly have found your unique voice when you suggest Square Enix is encouraging Tomb Raider fans to go rock climbing with no safety gear. You are the first person in history to have these thoughts and broadcast them to the world.

    But you aren’t a genius or a pioneer for saying these things. No one else has ever said these things because only a mind as warped and disconnected from reality as yours could come up with them, and evaluate them as worthy of punching into a keyboard. They are a unique flavor of insanity and/or mental retardation that only you could possibly produce.

  15. Good ol’ *in a Maximillion Pegasus voice* Johnny Boy: the only douche bigger than John Edwards. (points if you get the reference)

    Seriously tho, this is a man who shows he is all talk and no spine. He makes outrageous claims and then hides behind a woman he uses as his personal shield. Whatever the relationship between the two maybe there is one thing that is crystal clear: Whackingtosh is a manipulative (spineless) man with connections. This is how he can continue make such outrageous statements and not suffer any repercussions for them. Makes me sick to know these are the people who want to control the public and do it behind the guise of their chosen “champion”. He is like Emperor Palatine to anita’s Dart Vader (or if you’re not familiar, he is like Dick Cheney to Anita’s Bush).

  16. I think McIntosh watched TV when he was a child and thought, “Oh I can be XXX from show XXX” and then when he grew up and someone told him he didn’t have the skills, physique, etc, he was crushed and felt he needed to lash out at fictional media. He is under the assumption that everyone else is just like him, he doesn’t realize in the world of gaming, he is the minority, that most people can tell the difference between fiction and reality, they’ve been doing it for centuries.

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