I’m back from the Thai dinner. The meal itself was tasty, but still draining. SmackDown picked up my spirits, as Seth Rollins continues to kill it. But now I’m back and ready to talk about our old friend Arthur Chu. He put out a column last night that actually has me wondering if he is totally tone deaf. He sounded like Brianna Wu when she went off on a guy for accidentally spilling a drink on her leather electronics bag…in first class. The whole thing is about how he’s going to quit Twitter now, in honor of Joss Whedon.

Needless to say, the whole thing reads like an egomaniacal manifesto of asshatery. That’s not a surprise, considering it was written by Arthur Chu, but I digress.

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Let’s go through this thing piece by piece. Here’s the first excerpt:

Among all the other great things Joss Whedon has done for me over the years, he did me a great favor this week–he gave me an excuse to walk away from Twitter. Like ironic Buffy Speak or modernized Shakespeare or feminism, it can be yet another thing I do because Joss made it cool.

Wait a minute. You’re only a feminist because Whedon supposedly made it cool? It’s not because you actually believe that garbage? I guess given your past statements, no one should be surprised. Your conviction to the cause is completely based in its aesthetic qualities (plus how much dosh you can make off it). That’s pretty pathetic for a guy who wants to be seen as a public intellectual.

Moving on…

Everyone who meets me makes some kind of comment about me and my 24.2K Twitter followers like it’s one of my primary achievements. I’ve had the uncomfortable experience of being singled out by people very consciously trying not to single me out when a local community theater project starts talking “social media engagement”–like being the one millionaire at a charity function, everyone knows it’s your retweets that really count.

Arthur, get over yourself, you pathetic worm. I have 19,000 Twitter followers myself. Who gives a shit? I mean I do love my followers, but I haven’t deluded myself into thinking I’m any type of celebrity. Some people like my site, and/or my tweets. So the decide to follow me. It doesn’t really go beyond that.

I have no idea how Salon thought this was fit to print. The writing is terrible, with frequent repeating of words, etc. I’m not kidding when I tell you I could do a lot better. Hell, I know plenty of people who could have done better, including several of you readers and followers.

Next up in this wretchedly bad piece:

Well, you know what they say. Do anything nearly continuously for over a year and it gets old, especially if that something involves enduring waves of hostility escalating into harassment.

Actually, I’ve never heard that said. Making money doesn’t seem to get old. Fucking a beautiful woman every night doesn’t seem like it would turn into old hat. Eating the finest cuisine daily sounds pretty good. But because he has a column to write and is trying to piggyback off the Whedon departure, he has to say stupid sounding shit like this.

What else do you have, Literally Chu? I’ll skip the part where he complains no one clicks on his garbage articles. Speak for yourself. I get a lot of traffic from Twitter. Maybe you just suck?

And then there’s the elephant in the room. Yes, Joss got harassment on Twitter. No, it wasn’t the “feminists” or any other specific group of people who “drove” him off of Twitter–for my part, I saw as much backlash for clearly non-feminist reasons like angry Hawkeye/Black Widow shippers or people mad that [REDACTED] died as for feminist ones–but yes, the constant static of haters probably played a role.

Yes, this punk just spoiled a key plot point from the new Avengers movie with no warning whatsoever. I hadn’t seen it yet, although I was planning to soon. I can only imagine that there are plenty of others in the same boat. It’s all about Arthur Chu, though, so he doesn’t give a shit. He probably jacked off to that or something. Maybe I’ll just pirate the motherfucker now.

Let’s start wrapping it up. His rant is really long, not to mention extremely pointless. You’re about to see why:

[T]he basic problem is the same as the one Joss Whedon expressed–too much easy stimulation, too much rapid-fire shallow interaction, too much noise…

I wouldn’t be surprised if Whedon reactivates his Twitter once things have calmed down for him, or once he’s got something new to promote. I haven’t even deactivated my account and probably will still pop my head in once in a while to chat with the people I know, and, indeed, like anyone publicly announcing their desire to change a habit I may fall off the wagon entirely in a week.

So at the end of all this, the tubby son-of-bitch admits that he’s not even sure he’s going to quit Twitter? WHAT?! You couldn’t at least act like you were halfway serious for this shitpiece? That was a complete waste of 2000 words. Of course anything Chu writes is a waste, but that’s another story.

My head actually hurts a little bit now after jamming that refuse into my brain. I’m about to go clear my head with classic tunes and think about the next post. Chu, go fuck yourself, you pretentious phony.

47 comments
  1. Brilliant breakdown, and I am very grateful for it! I am aware of this article but I have no interest in reading it. I can barely abide Arthur’s tweets, let alone an entire article from him! I can’t believe after all that, he ends up saying he might be back in a week. (lol WHAT?! What in the fuck was the point of this, then?!)

    Oh well, I am of two minds about his ‘departure.’ On one hand, he adds nothing of intellectual value to any discourse I am interested in, but on the other, he has been the cause of some truly wonderful memes, and makes an excellent butt of jokes. But for now (I guess), he’s going, and I wish him well. “Last call for the Chu-Chu train.” Chu-chu on, dear Arthur, chu-chu on.

    1. Glad you enjoyed it. He does provide some A+ keks with his feed, so I would be conflicted as well. Although it seems like this is all bullshit, and he’ll be back soon anyway.

  2. The Great Pumpkin Head that’s fantastic. Just like the comic only one person believes in him and he produces absolutely nothing.

  3. Lesson to self, wait for the Ralph Retort article before reading the garbage yourself. I do take some joy that he may have pissed off people who actually like him with that spoiler thus ruining his ‘engagement’ even further (less then 0.9%? Holy shit even I’m 3.4%)

    1. The editors ought to be given 40 lashes for that bullshit. I know an assload of people have already seen it, but damn. It hadn’t even been out a full week and there was no warning whatsoever.

      1. I’m sorry he spoiled it for you… I accidentally did that to a friend, although he did tell me I could discuss the overall drama around the film and it slipped out. On the bright side the character in question received almost zero development (which was almost certainly intentional) so my reaction was out of shock and awwwww true hero (although how the fuck did he move that car?) and like a bad horror movie when the body hits the floor you’re kind of left going… oh, ok, next scene please.

        In a perfect world Fox wouldn’t have the rights to X-men and we wouldn’t have to play the ret con game that requires so many odd and “convenient” plot decisions.

        But yeah, he’s a massively self-absorbed, narcissistic cunt, so, did you really expect him to care about “peasants and pleebs who didn’t see it on opening night”?

      2. >“I have no idea how Salon thought this was fit to print. The writing is terrible, with frequent repeating of words, etc.”

        You answered your own question there. Salon is like MSNBC for the few viewers who can read and believe Slate isn’t SJW enough or has too many three-or-more syllable words in their articles. Salon harbors Joan Walsh, who is like a more literate Chu, meaning she’s able to pack three times the dishonest drivel into one-third the space.

        When I saw Milo’s tweet last night that Chu had decided to choo-choo off Twitter, I started to read his screed and rapidly gave up because, as I tweeted, “Real men simply disappear from social media. Drama queens do Cleopatra-sized “I’M LEAVING! I’M GOING!” pageants.” There are few things worse than attention-starved publicity mongers gazing at their blubbery navels and angsting about how they really, really dislike being in the public eye IN THE PUBLIC EYE.

        The idea that Whedon’s being bullied off the Internet made it “cool” for people like Chu – who is part of the mob that bullied Whedon! – to prance off brushing the dust off his shoulder is like saying Kim Kardashian’s fame for making a sex tape has made it acceptable for Chu to release a sex tape and eventually marry Kanye. No, that’s not how it works, Artie.

        >“It hadn’t even been out a full week and there was no warning whatsoever.”

        Entertainment Weekly’s Owen Glieberman used to be absolute worst about spoilers. I remember reading his review of Alien 3 after having seen it and was appalled that a central plot detail involving Ripley was revealed in the review. (It’s 23 years later and I haven’t spoiled it here, so it’s not like it’s impossible.)

        We recorded an insta-reaction podcast of Culture Vultures Radio after seeing a 7 pm Thursday night showing, but kept it nearly spoiler-free, speaking only in the most vague general terms about a couple of aspects not fully shown in the trailers. (e.g. We talked about how well the Vision was executed, but not the big crowd-pleaser beat he has.) However, next week’s show, which will be after the 2nd weekend out we will be doing a deep-dive, spoilerific discussion, BUT we’re going to announce “Beyond here be spoilers! And dragons!” before starting.

        Our policy is to allow two weekends for fans to get out and see the new hot nerd movie before spoiling with discussion. Chu’s policy is to babble whatever the snakes in his head tell him to say. Frankly, it’d be better if Salon unemployed him than he left Twitter. At least no one is paying him for his tweets.

  4. I thought waking up to a tory government meant today was gonna suck.

    Thank you Ralph. This is amazing. 🙂

  5. I think his main problem is what little “success” he has had went to his head and he had no real friends to wake him up to reality. They were probably more than happy to feed his ego as long as he kept picking up the check. It’s so sad that he really believes he is some kind of super intellectual and he simply cannot fathom why he is not more famous and respected. I would not be surprised if he ends up living in a cabin in the woods like the unabomber while he writes his manifesto. “Joss made it cool.” Really? What a delusional piece of shit. The whole point of his rant seems to be about how much he can kiss Wedon’s ass which makes me wonder if he even knows who Chu is.

    1. His main problem is the same as all these crazy feminists: they can’t figure out why lighting up over 200 million white Americans or over 100 million men would invite push back. We’re more than tired of listening to these fucks tell us how all men benefit from sexism and rape. They need to get a life or emigrate out to a more noble country – like maybe Kenya.

  6. It just wouldn’t be Arthur Chu if it wasn’t massively pretentious and disingenuous. It’s kind of this trademark.

  7. YES! VICTORY! Let Lady Vivian James know that we are yet another step closer towards the proper restoration of the realm. This is yet another step on the path towards being able to focus once again on the pure enjoyment of vidya, of course we must always be watchful, lest our enemy return more cunning and insidious than ever.

  8. “It can be yet another I do because Joss made it cool.” Oh, just suck his dick already and get it over with. For fuck’s sake, what a FOLLOWER.

    1. “Oh, just suck his dick already and get it over with. ”

      EXACTLY what I thought when I read it.

      I can only assume that Chu expects Joss to read his article and feel flattered…

      Pathetic.

      Also, didn’t chu promise he was “walking away” recently?

      Did he not get the attention he wanted? That’s kinda how the article reads to me (what little of it I could stomache.)

      “HEY LOOK EVERYONE LOOK AT ME!!! I’M LEAVING!!! I’M REALLY LEAVING THIS TIME!!! PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!!

      1. I mentioned Chu to a friend of mine, a doctor who doesn’t care very much about Gamergate, although he does agree that harassment is wrong and ethics are important (he’s a fucking doctor after all), but he knew who Chu was the moment I said his name since he actually watches Jeopardy. He HATES the smug little fuck. Apparently the broad consensus of Jeopardy fans is immense disdain towards Chu, not because of the Forrest Bounce (which was only cute when Chuck Forrest did it), but because of how incredibly arrogant he is. To quote my brother who joked about my Masters in Cultural History and Information Science, “[He] has a bullshit degree in Trivial Pursuit”. Yeah, it wasn’t a nice joke to make towards me, but it was kind of funny and terribly applicable towards Chu.

  9. And nothing of importance was lost but something valuable was gained out of this. The momentary peace knowing we won’t have to listen to this fucker for a while.

  10. I’ll bet that he wanted a load of tear filled lackeys begging him to stay to inflate his ego. After the way he ranted about the GG meetup in DC most of his contacts began to realise what an unhinged lunatic the guy is and distanced themselves accordingly. And that’s nobody’s fault but his own, he won’t be missed.

  11. Hmm. Thai. The last time I ate at a ‘real’ Thai restaurant, I had no idea what to get. While I’m always open to try things, I’m an American lad at heart. So I got curry chicken, which seemed safe. And it was! Not too spicy, quite tasty. About the only thing that confused me was that it was signal-flare yellow. No, seriously, like the yellow flags that football refs use. Oh well.

    Moving on, I find it utterly unsurprising (except in the sense he let it slip out) that Chu was into feminism because it was ‘cool’. This makes him even MORE pathetic than the true believers. At least they stick to their ideals (even if their ideals are garbage). As Silence Dogood noted, he’s a follower. A wannabe.

    I’ll be honest, I did go see Avengers in theaters. One, my friends were going to see it (and I prefer to see movies with friends), and two, while I am displeased with Whedon, I’m not so irritable with the cast. So yeah, I’ll hold my nose and help support them, if I can. Thank God Whedon’s not doing any further Marvel movies though.

  12. That reminds me, I need to make a stop at home Depot for some painting supplies. My fiance wants me to paint our Damn apartment.

    ……. Get it? Home Depot? Because… Because of the.. The tools? Arthur Chu? Home Depot for tools? Yeah? Yyyeah?

    1. You are deserving of a down vote for corny joke, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. You do visit the ralphretort after all… 😉

    1. And it’s right next to SJW’s/Feminazis and corrupt journos. And I’ll be there to guide them to their Final Destination.

  13. LOL, Chuthulu’s butthurt and has to announce to the entire internet community that he’s quitting Twitter. What kind of whipped, self pretentious, ass kissing, megalomaniac do you have to be to think that someone would would give a shit? I know I don’t. Huh… I think I just answered my own question. Ah Daayum.

    Anyway, you’ll be back Chuthulu. THEY ALWAYS COME BACK! And then the fun will start all over again. Where you basically make an ass of yourself and we laugh at you for it; just like in the bomb threats at the GGinDC event, *sighs* good times. On the plus side everyone got free shots at the bar and you did in some way help Milo get laid that night and for that he’s greatful.

    1. With respect, “Chuthulu” actually sounds like a cool nickname. How did it gain currency for a dooche nozzle like Arthur the Mind Killer?

        1. Also, The name “Chuthulu” is referenced to a fiction creature Cthulhu back in 1928 and described as a gigantic and wholly evil entity worshiped by cultists (sound fimiliar?). Which I think fits Clawthur Chu’s description perfectly. And it doesn’t sound to cool if your a hate-filled, spiteful, bigoted, radical 3rd wave feminist and your name is Arthur Chu.

          1. I suspect most of us know who Cthulhu is, Reaper.

            Now, for the bonus round, I’ll jump into the portable hole, while holding the bag of holding, and saying ‘Hastur, Hastur, Hastur’.

          2. Not everyone does it seems. Which is why I was explaining it to Fatherless. That is all. And if I don’t know something and someone else does, then I’d like to know about it if it sparks my interests.

          1. I was thinking of bombchu from the The Legend of Zelda. (I couldn’t find the exact meme with Arthur’s face on it though, if you or anyone else happens to find it then please send it my way)

  14. Speaking as an actor, Joss Whedon didn’t “make modern Shakespeare cool.” Every century has found theatre professionals adapting and updating and modernizing his work, from the 1700’s and on. The cinema has brought us several “updated” Shakespeare plays, such as Baz Luhrman’s “Romeo + Juliet.” “O” with Mekhi Pfieffer and Julia Stiles, and Ethan Hawke’s “Hamlet” to name a few.

    In short: Arthur Chu is a fucking idiot. But that’s nothing new.

  15. The last time I saw an implosion like this it was The Delightful Demise of Hugo Schwyzer – Cyber Feminist, Porn Addict, SJW extraordinary and blogging Gobb Shite with a Minor Following. He also had a habit of boinking students for extra marks.

    Little Art Chu is so irrelevant even the deranged Cyber Feminist Loon Amanda Marcotte is not joining in to defend him! Says it all on the tin!

  16. *yawn*

    He’ll be back within a month. Most of these “Twitter Quitters” are addicted to the drama and attention, which is why they make a big scene out of leaving, instead of just fucking deleting their account without making a huge production out of it.

    BTW – did you try the Thai stuff I mentioned? Did you like them?

  17. Chu tried to make a documentary about HIMSELF?!?!?! Holy fuck……

    I thought he was extremely self-absorbed BEFORE that bit of info.

  18. I still don’t know who Arthur Chu is.He was the fat kid in that “fat chinese kid at mcdonald’s eating french fries” meme from ten years ago on the internet and then he grows up and goes on jeopardy once or something like anybody gives a shit about tv game shows in the 21st century and next thing you know he’s all over twitter spouting shit with some sort of credibility or something? I don’t get it.

    Second, what a fucking hypocrite. He’s going to leave twitter to show solidarity with the guy that he and others like him drove off of twitter, because he’s tired of people harassing other people until they quit twitter, which is what he and those like him FUCKING DO ALL DAY LONG TO PEOPLE…?

  19. Chu is a long line of little racist anti-white shits who hide within intersectionalist “punching up” theory to mask their racial animus. The problem is most Americans aren’t dumb enough to share the mental health issues of people who sit around crying about “white saviors” in Game of Thrones or having fits over too many white people in a comic book.

  20. “no it wasn’t the “feminists” or any other specific group of people”
    I’m confused because it was definitely people who came from the perspective and mindset of “equality for genders” and were hyper upset that black widow wasn’t something or other. So how can these idiots still argue that it wasn’t feminists?

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