I’m back from the Thai dinner. The meal itself was tasty, but still draining. SmackDown picked up my spirits, as Seth Rollins continues to kill it. But now I’m back and ready to talk about our old friend Arthur Chu. He put out a column last night that actually has me wondering if he is totally tone deaf. He sounded like Brianna Wu when she went off on a guy for accidentally spilling a drink on her leather electronics bag…in first class. The whole thing is about how he’s going to quit Twitter now, in honor of Joss Whedon.

Needless to say, the whole thing reads like an egomaniacal manifesto of asshatery. That’s not a surprise, considering it was written by Arthur Chu, but I digress.


Let’s go through this thing piece by piece. Here’s the first excerpt:

Among all the other great things Joss Whedon has done for me over the years, he did me a great favor this week–he gave me an excuse to walk away from Twitter. Like ironic Buffy Speak or modernized Shakespeare or feminism, it can be yet another thing I do because Joss made it cool.

Wait a minute. You’re only a feminist because Whedon supposedly made it cool? It’s not because you actually believe that garbage? I guess given your past statements, no one should be surprised. Your conviction to the cause is completely based in its aesthetic qualities (plus how much dosh you can make off it). That’s pretty pathetic for a guy who wants to be seen as a public intellectual.

Moving on…

Everyone who meets me makes some kind of comment about me and my 24.2K Twitter followers like it’s one of my primary achievements. I’ve had the uncomfortable experience of being singled out by people very consciously trying not to single me out when a local community theater project starts talking “social media engagement”–like being the one millionaire at a charity function, everyone knows it’s your retweets that really count.

Arthur, get over yourself, you pathetic worm. I have 19,000 Twitter followers myself. Who gives a shit? I mean I do love my followers, but I haven’t deluded myself into thinking I’m any type of celebrity. Some people like my site, and/or my tweets. So the decide to follow me. It doesn’t really go beyond that.

I have no idea how Salon thought this was fit to print. The writing is terrible, with frequent repeating of words, etc. I’m not kidding when I tell you I could do a lot better. Hell, I know plenty of people who could have done better, including several of you readers and followers.

Next up in this wretchedly bad piece:

Well, you know what they say. Do anything nearly continuously for over a year and it gets old, especially if that something involves enduring waves of hostility escalating into harassment.

Actually, I’ve never heard that said. Making money doesn’t seem to get old. Fucking a beautiful woman every night doesn’t seem like it would turn into old hat. Eating the finest cuisine daily sounds pretty good. But because he has a column to write and is trying to piggyback off the Whedon departure, he has to say stupid sounding shit like this.

What else do you have, Literally Chu? I’ll skip the part where he complains no one clicks on his garbage articles. Speak for yourself. I get a lot of traffic from Twitter. Maybe you just suck?

And then there’s the elephant in the room. Yes, Joss got harassment on Twitter. No, it wasn’t the “feminists” or any other specific group of people who “drove” him off of Twitter–for my part, I saw as much backlash for clearly non-feminist reasons like angry Hawkeye/Black Widow shippers or people mad that [REDACTED] died as for feminist ones–but yes, the constant static of haters probably played a role.

Yes, this punk just spoiled a key plot point from the new Avengers movie with no warning whatsoever. I hadn’t seen it yet, although I was planning to soon. I can only imagine that there are plenty of others in the same boat. It’s all about Arthur Chu, though, so he doesn’t give a shit. He probably jacked off to that or something. Maybe I’ll just pirate the motherfucker now.

Let’s start wrapping it up. His rant is really long, not to mention extremely pointless. You’re about to see why:

[T]he basic problem is the same as the one Joss Whedon expressed–too much easy stimulation, too much rapid-fire shallow interaction, too much noise…

I wouldn’t be surprised if Whedon reactivates his Twitter once things have calmed down for him, or once he’s got something new to promote. I haven’t even deactivated my account and probably will still pop my head in once in a while to chat with the people I know, and, indeed, like anyone publicly announcing their desire to change a habit I may fall off the wagon entirely in a week.

So at the end of all this, the tubby son-of-bitch admits that he’s not even sure he’s going to quit Twitter? WHAT?! You couldn’t at least act like you were halfway serious for this shitpiece? That was a complete waste of 2000 words. Of course anything Chu writes is a waste, but that’s another story.

My head actually hurts a little bit now after jamming that refuse into my brain. I’m about to go clear my head with classic tunes and think about the next post. Chu, go fuck yourself, you pretentious phony.