TheRalphRetort.com

TRAVEL BAN: USA To Ban Americans Visiting North Korea

USA is to ban its citizen from travelling to North Korea. The ban will be announced on 27th July and will come into effect 30 days afterwards, according to tour groups that operate in North Korea. US officials have confirmed there will be a ban...

TURKEY: Schools To Teach Concept Of Jihad

Turkey is like the Weeping Angel from Doctor Who. Every time you blink, the situation gets worse. Turkish school will now teach children the concept of jihad under President Edrogan’s new curriculum. The new curriculum excludes Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution because we don’t want...

BREAKING: John McCain diagnosed with brain cancer

U.S. Senator John McCain was found to have a brain tumor, according to a statement released by his office and the Mayo Clinic. In the statement it said that on 14th July, Senator McCain had a blood clot removed from his eye at the Mayo Clinic Hospital. Turns...

INSANITY: People Are Warned Against Promoting Work Of Straight White Males

As some of you may know, I’m currently an undergrad at university studying in the STEM field. As a result I do a lot of lab reports and essay. When I’m reading papers, I’m not particularly paying attention to the authors until it’s time for...

CRAZY DEMOCRATS: Charlotte City Council Member Says Trump Supporters Have No Place In Government

Dimple Ajmera, a member of the Charlotte City Council, said on NBC’s Flashpoint that Trump supporters should not be leading local government. The newly appointed council member was getting worked up over President Trump and his supporters, saying Republicans that are supporting Trump, they should...

SHOCKING: Newborn Dies After Being Put in Trash

Some people are real pieces of shit. Estella Ruiz-Gomez gave birth during her break at a restaurant that she worked at. Her mother, Lorenza Gomez Rodriguez, also worked at the restaurant. These two women decided it would be a great idea to stick the newborn in...

IRAN: US Announces Fresh Sanctions Over Ballistic Missile Program

To no one’s surprise, the US has announced fresh sanctions against Iran over its ballistic missile programs. Iran developing and testing ballistic missiles violates the UN Security Resolution 2231 which ‘calls upon Iran not to undertake any activity related to ballistic missiles designed to be...

MUSLIM WORLD: People Want Girl Arrested For Wearing A Mini-skirt

I’ve seen some pretty outrageous stuff in public; a woman calling her child a failed abortion, a woman shitting at the side of the pub and a man wearing saggy jeans. Most of these things made me grimace for a second and then move on....

LIVE FROM HIS NEET CAVE: Stuttering and Stammering Ian Miles Cheong Completely Humiliates Himself on National Television

(Guest Article by The Gator Gamer ) Here at The Ralph Retort dot com, we love any and every opportunity to poke fun at dying Heat Street’s (now former) diversity hire, Ian Miles Cheong, so when the aforementioned “Lil Hitler” decided to broadcast directly from...

BREAKING NEWS: 16 YEAR OLD CHARGED OVER LONDON ACID ATTACKS.

On Thursday, five acid attacks occurred in London over the course of 90 minutes. Two boys were arrested; a 15 year old boy and a 16 year old boy. Allegedly, these boys threw acid in the face of the victims and then proceeded to rob...

BOOM: Kid Rock Confirms Senate Run While Trashing Mainstream Media

There have been rumors swirling around that Kid Rock is going to run for US Senate, and today he confirmed it with a press release titled, “Once again the press is wrong“, where he stated: Once again the press is wrong. First of all, I’ve...

SHARIA LAW: Court Gives Probation to Chicago Woman Who Murdered Infant For Fear of Being ‘Honor-Killed’ by Family

Are you from a family of religious extremists? If so, apparently in Chicago, that gives you the right to murder your own baby by throwing it out of an 8th story window without even going to prison. A 19 year old Chicago woman was sentenced...

BREAKING: Trump Jr. Entrapped by Obama To Obtain FISA Warrant to Spy on Campaign

Now that denizens of the internet have had a few hours to search through the mounds of evidence, it seems that the fiasco regarding Donald Trump Jr. meeting with the Russian lawyer was an illegal set-up by the Obama administration to obtain a FISA warrant,...

BUSTED: TV Channel Pushing FAKE Amelia Earhart Story Blaming Japan has TIES TO CHINA

We live in an era of fake news that’s financed in part by foreign interests. But fake news isn’t enough for them — now they’re trying to rewrite history. History (formerly known as The History Channel) recently aired a special that attempted to blame Japan...

Linda Sarsour Is A Traitor

The following article is from NewMediaCentral, an amazing site that I think you should all check out. They have great news and opinion pieces, and they’re not afraid to give their candid opinion on controversial topics. The site was founded by my friends Sal Traina...

BREAKING: Anthony Cumia SUSPENDED by Twitter

The conservative talk-show host and comedian, Anthony Cumia, who occasionally hosts the Alex Jones Show, was suspended from Twitter just minutes ago. Cumia became a public figure by co-hosting the Opie and Anthony show on XM Radio. pour one out for our favorite WHITE tunisian...