TheRalphRetort.com

REEEEEEE: Bungie Removes Destiny Armor Texture Resembling Kekistani Flag After SJW Cryfest

(Guest Article by The Gator Gamer ) Bungie, developers of the video game series Destiny and lovers of Anita Sarkeesian and Feminist Frequency, posted on Twitter today that due to what they are calling a “hate symbol”, a particular piece of in-game armor will have its...

Absurd Proposals To Increase Number Of Female MPs In Commons Rejected

I apologise for the lack of posts the past week. I thought I had breast cancer and spent the past week looking at my breasts while whispering ‘You’ve betrayed me’. Luckily, no breast cancer so I have no more excuses. Just like the women who...

REFUGEES: EU Court Rejects Hungary And Slovakia’s Bid To Not Take In More Refugees

The EU court has dismissed legal action by Hungary and Slovakia challenging a European Union policy requiring them to accept refugees. And people wonder why I’m so eager for the United Kingdom to leave the EU. Hungary is not happy with the verdict and plans...

Mendacious Media Disgraces Itself Again in Wake of Charlottesville

Those who read this site regularly already know these upcoming facts, but I will state them again for the record. I am not a Nazi: or a Nazi sympathizer. I’m not a white nationalist nor a white-supremacist of any sort. Theories of inherent racial superiority...

SHOCKER: AntiFa Thugs Become Violent At Berkeley

Yesterday, AntiFa crashed a right-wing rally. The Berkeley police seemed to be more prepared than last time. They prohibited just about anything that could be used as a weapons. And that included dogs, this will be more important later on in the article. Berkeley police...

Texas Man Arrested For Attempting To Blow Up Confederate Statue In Public Park

Someone tried to plant a bomb in a public park in hopes of destroying a statue. No, this wasn’t Syria or Afghanistan. It was in was in Houston, Texas. And no it wasn’t ISIS. Right now, we don’t know if he was acting alone or...

Joss Whedon

HILARIOUS: Joss Whedon’s Ex-Wife Calls Out His Hypocritical Preaching Of Feminism

As a friend just said ‘Asshole Joss Whedon got called out by his wife for having multiple affairs. Who else would fuck him? He looks like a flesh coloured cactus?’. I have amazing friends. Kai Cole, Whedon’s ex-wife, revealed in a blog post Whedon had multiple...

BREAKING: Petition To Recognise AntiFa As Terrorist Organisation Has Passed 100K Signatures

Petition to formally recognise AntiFa as a terrorist organisation has passed the 100K signature goal it needed to be reviewed by the White House. The White House has to respond within 60 days. I won’t lie, I’m surprised it has. Do I think the petition will...

Life in The Emerald City

OK, this place is actually nothing like Emerald City. I just wanted to make a reference to the classic HBO series, Oz. If you haven’t already enjoyed that wild show, please do so at your own leisure. It’s well worth your time, even though the...

LABOUR: Sarah Champion Is Forced Out After Comment About Pakistani Men Preying On White Girls

Sarah Champion, the now former Labour MP of Rotherham, spoke on BBC Radio 4 regarding gang-related child sexual exploitation. This came after 17 men were convicted in Newcastle for forcing girls to have sex. The men were from Iraqi, Bangladeshi, Pakistani, Indian, Iranian and Turkish communities....

Silicon Valley Seeks To Create “Harassment” Blacklist

I saw this story last week in the paper and I’ve been considering how I should address this it this entire time. You have already heard about it, but if so, that’s ok. The more average bullshit like this gets, the better. Here’s an excerpt...

JUSTICE: Protester Who Pulled Down Durham Confederate Statue Is Arrested

Railing against the past will not heal us. History has happened. It’s over and done with. All we can do is to change its course by encouraging what we love instead of destroying what we don’t. I don’t think BLM or ANIFA have learnt this...

CHARLOTTESVILLE: Get Ready To Be Silenced

Last night in Charlottesville, VA was eventful to say the least. But today was on a different level. Seeing how the media was already shaping the narrative last night, I thought I had a good idea of what to expect. Wew, lads. Already know how...

JIHADI BRIDE: The Pakistani Taliban Has Launched A Women’s Magazine

You know that moment when you read something so absurd that you can’t help the laugh that bubbles out of you? That was me a mere 10 minutes ago. For those who can’t stand Cosmo but still want to read a women’s magazine, then I...

Confession Of a (News) Junkie

I have dabbled with many substances in my life. Marijuana, Xanax, alcohol, peanut M&M’s . The delicious foot-long sandwiches from the Arab store around the corner from my house. I could go on and on, but I think you catch my draft. I definitely have...

WRONG THINK: Fired Google Memo Author Exploring Legal Avenues And People Are Out For His Blood

I understand there’s no reason to not update the site in a week. However, in my defense I didn’t realise so much shit could go down in one week. I was simply doing woman things for once like cleaning and doing laundry when I saw...